Well, I guess this can be my introduction and "who am I?" post all rolled into one I'm so sorry in advance if this is long.. Please don't feel obliged to read it all.

Namaste to all. My name is Dawn, I'm am 22. I'm almost not quite sure where to begin.. I expect childhood is as good a place as any.

For as long as long as I can remember I have felt different. I was very attatched to my mother from a young age and suffered seperation anxiety. Starting school was a difficult time for me, but I did learn to enjoy it. Apparently when I was born I hardly cried at all, and lay awake all night just looking at everything... I also gripped the crib when the nurse tried to lift me, which apparently I shouldn't have been able to do!

My earliest strange encounter was when I was just a toddler. I was at a mother and toddler group in a church, consisting of just that - mothers with their toddlers. I remember seeing a man, and being drawn to him. He was in plain clothes, a shirt and jeans. But he was smiling and standing infront of the door in a way that intruiged me. I seem to recall a faint aura of light around him, but I can't be sure as to whether I have imagined that detail. I remember staring at him for a long time, and him just smiling, not saying a word. I was in awe. Apparently (my mother remembers these episodes to this day) she was calling me for a long time, as I was 'staring off into space.' When I finally snapped out of it she asked me what I was looking at, and I replied "the man." She asked "what man?" and I answered "the man over there" pointing to the spot that he had been. My mother told me there had been no man that she could see, and that no men were in the room throughout the whole time we were there. This happened several times apparently.

In school from ages 4-7 I was a wanderer. I had a few friends but mostly I liked to play on my own. Singing to myself and pretending I was a horse. I felt different, and sometimes it got me down, when others didn't understand me or called me 'strange' but other times I was too lost in my own world to notice.

I fit into the indigo age range, but I don't fit many of their charachteristics. I seem to fit the description of crystal children better, but even that doesn't fully resonate with me. As years went on I learnt to fit in more and make friends. But I still never lost my sense of identity. Art, animals, nature and beauty were my life. I drew every single day, and used it as a way to document my feeling, I would hear certain melodies on the radio and get shivers down my spine from the beauty of them. I seemed to fall in love at a very early age, and the feeling of falling in love felt no different to now. I often thought about the meaning of life and space and knew that I wanted to help the world early on. I felt an enormous connection to the animal kingdom, in particular cats, who I seem to be able to talk to. I was an extremely shy child, who was constantly being encouraged by my teachers to speak up. But I did well in school and was near the top of the class nevertheless. I abhored (and still do) agressive behaviour, anger and violence and I avoided it at all costs. I also recall dreaming of space a lot and thinking about space and the end of the world and feeling so fearful. This was from ages 7-15. All the while home life was extremely difficult.

At 16 I had a spiritual epiphany. I had tried to understand and get along with Christianity, as it was all I had really known. But, getting the internet opened me up to so much more. I had gained a facination with unicorns, and felt connected to them in such an overwhelming way, I drew them every day. I drew myself as them in order to express my feelings. My desire to help the world had turned into a deep, almost physical yearning. I met a friend over the internet who seemed to ignite something in me. A catalyst who helped me begin my real journey of spiritual and metaphysical self-discovery. From ages 16, up until now, I have devoured unbelievable amounts of metaphysical websites/books/magazines. On all different subjects, ranging across the whole board. I have become facinated by modern physics and quantum mechanics, aliens, ufos, crop circle, megaliths, leylines, atlantis, unicorns, nature spirits etc. It was also around this time or slightly before that I began seeing the number 333 everywhere. I thought it was just my lucky number, but now I know the real reason

I still paint unicorns nearly every day, and still feel inexplicably drawn to them, like a kinship almost. I have even transformed into a unicorn twice in dreams. One time as a unicorn I grew wings and flew down from a cliff into the sea. In another dream I transformed into a sabre tooth tiger in order to face fears head on. I am lucky enough to be have a relatively free lifestyle. I am an artist and I would hate to have to work a 9-5 job.. It would feel like squashing my soul. Many people don't understand that, and think I am lazy or have it lucky. All I want to do with my art is bring light and love and beauty into the world. To help heal it. To awaken it.

Since age 16 I feel I have been awakening, I have seen faeries, felt a whole range of ascension symptoms, gone through dark nights of the soul had visions and prophetic dreams, psychic moments, synchronicities, manifestations, digital messages. I have discovered a connection to the wind, in which I am sometimes able to manipulate it, but mostly I seem to create winds, as trees move as I pass and gates slam, or leaves swirl in circles around me. I don't feel fearful about 'end of times scenarios' anymore like I used to as a child, and space no longer scares me. My dreams of space now are beautiful and awe inspiring. Involving geometric patterns in the stars etc. But I still feel I have a way to go.

Yes, I guess you could say I have always felt like I had a 'special' or 'higher' purpose, but I have never felt better than anyone else, just very different, alien at times. I don't really fit into the social norm, and have never really had the same interests as others my age. I sometimes get so frustrated with mundane life, and wonder why other people are so wrapped up in it, knowing there is so much more. Longing for more.

I'm not sure what else to say, and I expect I've already said enough! No doubt you can get some sort of picture of who I am from what I've written. If anyone recognises parts of themselves in what I've written, please, do share. Also if anyone can offer me any insight or comfort as to my own identity I would be so pleased to hear. This is the first time I have written it all down like that, and it feels weird. Maybe I am a 'starseed'... I seem to fit the descriptions, but I gather it's a pretty broad category

I apologise for the length of this post!

In love, light and joy,

Dawn x