Hi everyone!
I am SO glad to have found this place... people who are like me!
I've been a "seeker" for about 2 decades. I too have always felt different, and that has only been continually increasing all my life. In my twenties, I was reading books by the truckload trying to find... oh, I don't know, truth? Meaning? Purpose? Who I am? I explored all sorts of concepts - psychology, self-improvement, spirituality, how to "do life". Endlessly searching for myself and my place in the world. I wondered why it seemed that everyone else had it all figured out, felt content.
Then in my thirties, all sorts of unusual things started to happen: mystic experiences, visions, ecstasies/rapture (not drug-induced), "seeing" in a new way, etc. I experienced altered states - to the extent that I was diagnosed as bipolar. This only led me to seek the answers even more: why did I have such "bizarre", unfathomable experiences? I read other accounts from bipolars - and still, no one had experienced the things I had. I felt very much alone, freakish. I couldn't even talk to anyone about them, there wasn't anyone who could understand or make sense of it. Finally, I started to accept it and accept myself, be at peace with it.
I'd heard of indigos, but didn't really delve into it until now. It amazes me how much the descriptions fit me: the 'rebel' aspect, being a "system buster", difficulty with authority/hierarchical systems, "knowing" things inherently, feeling like I don't quite belong in this world, feeling like I've always had to hide my "real self", frustration with the status quo, sensitivity & compassion, a need to make the world a better place. I could go on and on, and I'm sure all of you can as well, and that you can easily relate.
Thank you all for being here! I'm excited to get to know you all