Hi there, jujiki/Tudor! Welcome to IS. Where we indigos and other people who have had to live with being different find a place to support each other and share information.
Sure, I'm grateful for the decades of experiences, good and bad, that have turned out to be essential for spiritual development. But truth is, in junior high (middle school) I would have sold my soul to be popular. The desire to fit in is normal-- we need each other to survive; in a way, conforming is instinctive.