Alice's Adventures

You ever need a day? A day - away? Away from everything and everyone. A day to just BE.

Mental Health Days - that's what I call them. A day when, for 24 hours, I turn off the television, the phone, the answering machine, the computer; unplug and reboot.

I like to time them - these days - to times when my husband is off at one of his conferences, and when my youngest has a sleepover at a friend's house. And then, once the house is empty, I can just BE.
...

I woke up the other morning feeling as if I had been emptied out; as if I had been emptied and was waiting for...something.

But this...what is this? Where is this? (Why is this?). Or perhaps it is a who...and sometimes how

But it is not what I was expecting.

I expected something impressive; something that would knock my socks off with its power and depth. Something that would make my breath catch in my chest and fill me up with purpose. ...

The following is directly related to "BROKEN TRUST" my last entry, and is taken in its entirety from "intentional pain", a posted thread in the cafe:

Originally Posted by inferno_dragon377
thats right, letting go of that pain is letting go a part of yourself. But look at it like this, is that pain who you are, is that who you want to be? I know you for the strong woman you are, and I know that this is not you. The pain is as temporary as you allow it.

...

To Trust is to place confidence in somebody or in somebody's good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor, or ability.
(encarta dictionary)

I have not had a lot of experience in being able to trust people implicitly. From a very young age it has been drilled into me by experience that even those who love me the most can not be trusted to keep their promises, to be fair or to tell me the truth.

And so I withdrew into a shell - where no one could hurt me ...