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  1. Sorry...

    So long since I last blogged. I have a reason for it though. Might be a stupid one but something I need to do.

    I know you still read these so here goes...

    That promise? Yeah, I remember it, and it's killing me that I can't go through with it. So yeah, not sure why I'm doing this but I do apologize for that. Probably doing this out of spite too, so I can be all like 'Fuck you! I actually keep promises' or something to that effect. Whatever, even though it's fucking annoying ...

    Updated 12-22-2009 at 04:35 AM by Sephish

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  2. I Don't Belong...

    by , 04-27-2009 at 10:11 PM (Innerworkings of Chaos...)
    All of this... Just wrong... For months now, I've known that this isn't where I'm supposed to be in my life... I get flashes of where I am supposed to be all the time but I feel like I'm so far away I'll never get back there... I see so much 'wrong' everywhere... Just gotten so hopeless lately... For days now, I've had a constant feeling of being just drowned in pain and fear and just plain bad stuff... Not planning to get all emo and shit on y'all... Just hoping maybe writing will do me some good... ...
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  3. Procrastination...

    by , 03-28-2009 at 12:35 PM (Innerworkings of Chaos...)
    Lalala! I need to stop procrastinating so much... I still need to go over last night's German lesson-thingy... It's actually going pretty well, still mad confusing but I'm catching on... Right now I'm just putting it off as much as possible listening to music and blogging... I'm listening to songs in German so it isn't all bad... Picking up a few words and pronunciations here und there... And after I go over and correct it, I want to get another one out of the way because I'm aiming for at least ...
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  4. I need to close myself off again...

    by , 03-09-2009 at 08:06 PM (Innerworkings of Chaos...)
    I don't know if I can recover from what happened tonight... I can't really go into details... I felt what was left of my heart just shatter... Millions of tiny pieces... Telling me to die, I can't survive the pain... The reason I'm posting about it in my blog is because I need someplace to let it all out before it consumes me... I don't want to feel anymore... I hate empathy... I hate love... I can't stand it... I want to hate... Really feel it rise up and explode... Instead, I supress it... Love ...
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  5. Reason and understanding... (Warning: Angry/sad rant alert)

    by , 03-01-2009 at 03:45 PM (Innerworkings of Chaos...)
    So I had another fight with my parents today... It's more like the continuation of something that has been going on for weeks now... I'm not perfect, I don't expect this of anyone... I have a hard time being reasonable when I don't get the same in return... The main problem is the fact that my parents think I'm on the computer too much... For me, it is the only way to get into contact with the person in my life that is causing me a great deal of pain... I want to stop that as soon as I can but it ...
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