Innerworkings of Chaos...

So anyways, I've had A LOT on my mind today, so I figured I might as well blog about it... Maybe get some feedback on where I should go from here...

~Thought #1 - Life:

Tonight I realized something... I may have made a mistake but I don't regret it... There is someone that I love with all my heart... She was really suffering lately because she felt torn between two people... I was talking to her tonight (still am lol) and I could really feel the toll all of this was ...

I've been wanting to write a lot today but had no inspiration... So I asked myself why? Why did I want to write? Why wasn't I inspired? To answer the second question, I believe it has something to do with my current situation... Ironically, it seems like only when I have negativity weighing down on me that I really want to let it out creatively but due to the negative stuff, inspiration is harder to find... I went through a pretty big bout of depression a while ago and I must've written and drawn ...

So, things are pretty slow at the moment... Felt like blogging, maybe pull some poetry out me arse...

Hmmm...

Connections
Racing round the world
Directions
Tell me where to go
Tell me what to do
Tell me what to see
You're a part of me
Fading
Ever so slightly
Degrading
Into eternity
Don't leave me
Don't hurt me
Make me cry
Scream your name
Die alone
Die in ...

No, but seriously... I finally got my hands on a working computer today... I missed all y'all sooooooooo much! Life has kinda sucked since I was last on here... I'm now a year older though... If you consider that a good thing... I have had a few good things happen though... The other night I had a weird dream about trains or something and I managed to get a few moments of lucidity in it and managed to fly again... I'm getting better at controlling my direction and stuff, which is good too... Also, ...

My blog has been feeling a bit empty to me lately... So here comes entry numero dos! Donde esta el casa loca? I don't know... I've been trying to learn any language I can get my hands on that I can find free lessons online for... Yes, I'm a cheap bastard but I'm ok with that... I think that things have been going better for me lately... Online anyways... I made a lot of (official) friends on IS and it makes me feel special... I now that I shouldn't need other people to make me happy but it certainly ...