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Without going into too many details about my past: parents are addicts, divorced when I was a baby. Grandparents and god parents never stepped in to help when I needed help. As an adult, I was basically abandoned--went into the system because my mom screwed up as a parent and I was already in the system as a teen.

So I decided to better myself. My family would tell me I should only get a certificate or get an associates degree, that I should forget about what I want to do and do ...

Originally Posted by rafi

Hi there, jujiki/Tudor! Welcome to IS. Where we indigos and other people who have had to live with being different find a place to support each other and share information.

Sure, I'm grateful for the decades of experiences, good and bad, that have turned out to be essential for spiritual development. But truth is, in junior high (middle school) I would have sold my soul to be popular. The desire to fit in is normal-- we need each other to survive; in a way, conforming is instinctive.

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Originally Posted by rafi

The best person to read on this stuff is Robert Anton Wilson. Even if his books (and website) are a bit dated. Great fun and a great way to learn to think clearly. He covered everything from conspiracy theories to altered consciousness to Fortean phenomena. Much odd info by which we observe our own reactions. To help us break out of our own automatic patterns. In order to develop an open mind while maintaining a healthy skepticism.

For example, I've "seen" the small

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