Rambling in Wonderland

Facebook is the Devil

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, 06-06-2010 at 06:48 PM (1086 Views)

Facebook is the devil.

It is Hell for friendships, the firey pit of forgetfulness where many a friendship has slowly died on the alter of good intentions.

Oh yes - I know, facebook is a wonderful thing, a fantastic way to keep in touch with your friends, to re-connect with people you haven't seen since high school or, in my case, since dinosaurs ruled the earth. But is it truly the angel of light and the savior of the lonely that it claims to be?

I'll grant you that if a friendship is already strong and robust - or even if it is new and exciting -and if both parties take an active interest in each other's pages and status - it can indeed contribute to friendship and "keeping in touch". But there is a down side.

Ask yourself how many times you have received a request for friendship from someone you knew "way back when". You add them, you excahge a few wall posts about what each of you is up to now, and then....silencio. Days, weeks, months go by, and suddenly you stumble upon an entry of theirs on your home page and you're startled to realize that you haven't been to their page, or checked their status in what, six months? Longer? But you have them on your "friends" list, so you're in touch, yes?

Sometimes go through your friends list and actually count how many people you interact with on a regular basis (at least once a month say). I think you'll be surprised, or maybe not.

So it can be hell for friendships (if the right precautions are not taken). But it is also one of the biggest ego-boosters around. Think about it - you post your status: I am taking a bubble bath (nice - but do I really need to know?) you post your status, and a half a dozen people pop on telling you how WONDERFUL it is, what a good idea it is to take a bubble bath, what scent of bubbles they prefer, and where you can get a good price on the really expensive stuff.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

Do I really need validation that I'm taking a bubble bath? Or walking my dog? Or getting ready to clean out my closet?

Again - if used as a real tool of friendship, this isn't a bad thing, as a tool to keep family and friends updated as to what is going on in your life, to share news and discoveries with those you care about, but it CAN be a good thing, but the down side is that we can get SO addictied to validation. What does everyone else think of me going here - doing this - or thinking about that? There are some people who post what they're thinking of doing AND THEN WAIT FOR THE REPLIES BEFORE THEY GO AND DO IT. Yeah, I know, extreme, but I've seen it done. Nike has the right idea, just do it, and let the chips fall where they may.

*wanders off to change facebook status*

Tags: communication, devil, facebook, interaction, media

Categories: The Red Queen Rants , General

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Comments

Luke - 06-07-2010 05:08 AM
I totally agree with everything you have said. Also may i add that from my experience of seeing others, it becomes less about status updates and more about social status in terms of how many friends people can get, even if they dont know them! like its a competition!

Also the fact that once you have created a profile and added information, you are unable to 'delete' your profile, facebook will give you the option to 'deactive' your prfolile - meaning they still have access to all sorts of information about you for whatever reasons even when you have deactivated your profile, there is also proof that some details have been sold on for mainly making money but there are other reasons too.

Facebook is Bad news!
Justin D. - 06-07-2010 06:11 AM
You can delete it! There is a link (somewhere, try a google search) to a page the allows you to delete your profile, I recently did that after realizing how little a need I have for facebook.

But yea its stupid, and generally seems to be for a lot of useless activities, ways to market junk, or just a time sink.

I am a big fan of stuff like Diaspora or the myraid of other up-and-coming decentralized social networking platforms, where you host your own page on your own machine. It allows you to control and have ownership of your information while giving the potential for a slew of features beyond what is in facebook (though within reason that has a lot of potential as well).

But I am not a big fan of centralization, I think if the future is going to be bright, we have to decentralize and unify
desire knowledge - 06-07-2010 10:57 AM
There's only one reason I stay on facebook and that's the networking aspect of it. I have friends on here from school, here on IS from different places I've lived ect. I am also a part of a bunch of different groups and pages and they share some awesome messages...so of course I share em w/ everyone I know. I try and respond to people and talk....but I use it more for getting these messages across to hopefully inspire them ect then anything else. Personal stuff I'll post once in awhile...but that's not the main reason I keep mine going. I love the inspiration myself for half the time it's the right thing said at the right time...and I try and pass it on to others.
sshenry - 06-07-2010 04:12 PM
Oh I have and keep a facebook page. When I started I was in awe - wow - so many choices, so much fun stuff to "do". But now I mainly keep it because my family would be calling me at all hours of the day and night with the latest gossip if I didn't

And it DOES have it's uses - I've been able to meet some awesome people and re-connect with some who I haven't seen in years, and like you Desi, I've found some awesome groups on there, but it is a tool - just like the computer itself, or the cell phone. The moment we forget that it becomes about status and numbers and the ego puffs up its head and it's that much harder to remember who we are and why we're really here
Amethyst - 06-07-2010 11:58 PM
I haven't read any of the replies to this entry yet, will do after I reply!

Steph, you have a point, there are other points too!

Mostly, I use my wall on face book, to raise awareness, of things that I see/feel are important.

For example, the only reason that I posted in my status a week or so ago, this:

"I'm looking forward to sowing and growing the organic vegetable seeds in containers (grow bag, pots) in the garden. I got carrots, tomatoes, peppers, radish, spring onions, lettuce, spinach, coriander, parsley, and basil"

was to raise awareness of growing your own veg, I was not looking for validation at all...same goes with posting the pictures that I took at the green fair that I went to on Saturday, which was to raise awareness of greener/kinder living, which is why I bought my camera to that event...

I posted my belly dance photos months ago, mainly for another reason, a selfish one (not selfish in a bad way), I did it for me as in my life (as part of it) I have had feeling/experiences of low self esteem, social anxiety, and hiding (parts of) myself...and I wanted to show/share a part of myself and my success in overcoming some things...and knowing that some of my friends also have experiences of social anxiety...and they and my family would like me to share this with them...and yes it was nice to read some comments that said I looked nice! Recieving a compliment, is not always to do with ego or getting a big head...(Of course I know you know this!).

Your thread when you talked about comfort zone, when I performed a belly dance routine on stage, that was me coming out of my comfort zone...posting those pics was me coming out of my comfort zone...yet some people would (I guess) have judged me posting those pics on IS and on facebook, as ego...when mostly it was not...

Just putting another side to this face book/forum/posting/sharing thing!

Updated 06-08-2010 at 01:31 AM by Amethyst
Amethyst - 06-08-2010 01:19 AM
Just to add, my friend has used facebook to raise awareness of the deportation of imigrants from the UK, back to "their" countries, where they will be killed. She works for a charity for islamic women, one woman she was trying to help, would have been killed if the uk goverment sent her back to a middle eastern country, and the date had been set for her departure...she tried so hard to get it into the newspapers...none of them were interested as they said as it was the time of the general election...there was no interest in this womans case...

a day before she was to be deported, with the help of a friend on facebook, they got the Guardian newspaper to publish the story, and then the deportation was stopped...they helped in saving this woman's life. I saw a big responce from people on her wall, supporting her in trying to stop the deportation of this woman...My friend has a website that is mostly about her work, and certain issues, she has posted the link on facebook...facebook can be used to rasie awareness and make a difference!

Updated 06-08-2010 at 01:24 AM by Amethyst
Dabbs - 06-08-2010 03:59 AM
I do it cause I'm nosy... I want to know what's going on with the kids! LOL
Amethyst - 06-08-2010 04:46 AM
^lol

I also am on facebook to share/connect with my friends and family...some of my family and a few friends live in Cyprus and America, on face book, I get to see their new photos, and some things going on in their lives, and that is nice!
sshenry - 06-11-2010 11:20 AM
again - it's a great tool - but in a way I feel that it is contributing to kids not being able to carry on real life friendships - they determine "friendship" by facebook and myspace specifications, and so many carry that over into their real lives, treating people as if they are just shadows on a page...