by, 09-22-2012 at 07:53 AM (636 Views)
Understanding that this is just something written for someone else- cliche to some degree it still is how I feel for that individual. I share this in not only understanding but in the moment of crying out to the heavens how I feel so without further adieu...
The world almost goes black as pitch. There is a sway, a moment of daze and haze where the world is reeling into a spin. Reaching for reality, a grip, a hold on the real, trying to maintain a semblance of the world around him. The stars would spin after every blow. He would spit out the taste of blood but it wouldnít give. He would bleed through skin if the pain would allow. Making a moment seizing into eternity of pain and agony. The pain in the chest wouldnít let go; it grasps him in a death grip and doesnít let go. The view seems to swirl down further and further out of touch and away from his possibilities of winning. Reaching out for the tangible, but finding nothing but air and shadows. Its like clinging to life in the midst of the blur and the world isnít going to give a shit about it. Something inside asks to throw in the towel, to give up, and not ask for more punishment. To take a breath of death and let it all simply slip away like it never existed to begin with. Though another hit would be devastating and slowly, ever so slowly, it comes crashing in. Blow after blow, itís the constant barrage of torment and Hell. Like something wants him hurt or maybe just buried.
Itís like being in your own coffin with the nails being driven in and closing the lid for a permanent stay. The abyss of darkness would be the company and the claustrophobic anxiety of it all making it last. Sometimes when it comes like a caustic cut of a knife slicing through skin and bone, almost to a very core of his soul. Sometimes itís dull and shreds apart flesh with a torturous method. The pain of it all lingering still like the faint spirit holding on to life. Sometimes it is brutal and quick like the moment of time erupts into violent pain and despair. Why continue to accept the punishment of consequence and effect. It whispers through the mind and through the air with little recourse to the defense that it breaks through with out notice. It breaks down the walls and shatters every dream and hope of continuing. Making something of rubble and broken bits like it was the battering ram tearing it all down, the demolition of dynamite that makes the foundations crumble under explosive power. Making a fire that incinerates everything to ash and leaves nothing but consuming everything. What causes such harsh and barren forms? Simply words, or the distant push, like a push of a storm on a boat of torn sails and broken mast. The words ring echoes and the hand is there still like a warning of trespass and no further still. Sometimes the barrage of stings come again and again, and still asking for more it becomes relentless.
Grasping at the shattered remnants of dreams and flailing arms pull in the escaping hope that is all almost ashes falling like snow. What makes one pull and take ever more something like a dream that isnít a dream anymore. Itís so close and right there, visible and close. The warmth and smooth to the touch, the smell lingers like heaven on a cloud. The very fabric and senses are all in sparks, making energy flood through every fiber of his being. It excites and invigorates every second and keeps that moment alive for another split second. To hope and plan like a desperate thief to steal something not his but something to keep. Something to cherish and hold and never let go it is something far more valued than diamonds or gold. It holds no weight and can never be seen. It something that stands between them like an invisible light that makes him fight harder despite. He stands not proud but defiant of the wicked hits that sting and burn, that break and obliterate, he stands again and again making it known that he wonít give up, not for anything, not even gold. Others call out and ask that he quit, that he turns else where and dive and shit. They ask him to make another choice, as if he had one, to make something else of it all in the end. But the fact remains that he may never quit. The fact remains that he canít ever give in. To take the punishment and the pain ever more because he has something more than he ever could believe inside someone else, someone he believes. That someone else is his opponent and his ref, they are the one in his corner and the one in the stands, they are the one and only thing he can see. The one-person that is the one thing in the world that can make him dream. The one that is the one thing in the world that he holds in thought as he makes another stand even in the face of loss. It is like the epic winds of failure cry out for his defeat, but he doesnít listen and stands against the wind. He will take whatever it throws, and although it seems like nothing will give, it takes just one moment to change; it takes one moment that keeps him in the ring. She smiles, she hugs, she laughs and she cries and no matter what he wants to be there, even with tears in his eyes. The battle for love is not over yet, but he continues to fight because there has never been a love that went so deep, there has never been a love that was so worth it to keep. Believe what you will but the fact remains that the fight is for love and it will be the one that isnít in vain. He knows it to be the love of his life, the one to hold on to with all his might. The war isnít over but may just have begun but something inside him knows whom he loves, he loves her truly and without condition, he loves her like a beauty that can never age or wilt, break or grow dim. He loves her as truly as love has ever been described but the battle rages on despite. He feels it in his head, he feels it in his chest, and he feels it even in the deep parts of his belly, the will to go on and the fight for Elly.
I love you Elly, just a little story for you, and you alone to help you to see what I see alone. To help you when you feel most alone, that no matter the fight no matter how strong thereís always someone in your corner and thereís someone to cheer you on. I believe in you because I feel it to be true that you are someone so dear, and nothing will ever change that view. Smile for once and be prouder still because I love you and always will.
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