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Death....It Doesn't Bother Me As Much As It Should?

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  • Death....It Doesn't Bother Me As Much As It Should?

    So last night, I spent the night with a friend of mine (we won't talk about why) Before she fell asleep she told me a story about how she got into an argument with a friend of hers Then she told me that she got a phone call from her sister with news of his death.

    She told me she was sad and she started crying. I understand why she was sad....the last thing that happened with a good friend of hers was an argument. I don't understand what I'm supposed to say to her to comfort her. The reason why i didn't know what to say was....just as she's telling this story, I felt a presence in the room that shouted "TALK TO HER FOR ME!" Then when I refuse it felt as though the presence was angry.

    So she's there crying....I'm there sensing the presence of the person she's crying about....I couldn't say anything comfort her...I started feeling her sadness...I got a little frustrated because I couldn't tell her that her friend was standing right there.....I felt bad because the presence seemed angry....Hell, I didn't even know what the presence was saying SPECIFICALLY. I just knew that it wanted me to speak to her for him. REALLY OVERWHELMING!

    Death is something that I understand in a way that not many people understand. People see death as an end....I see it as a transformation. I don't associate death with the negative so it's very difficult for me to relate to people regarding it. Anyone else have similar story or problem?

  • #2
    Overwhelming to say the least! Thanks for sharing that with us. Like you, I see death as a transformation though it still affects me if it is someone I love and am close to. I have experienced alot of death in my life and I know some people like my husband who have experienced very little of it. I don't have any similar stories to share, but I just wanted to say that IMO there is no one way everyone "should" feel about death. Your reactions seem very appropriate to what you are experiencing. The only problem being that your friend may have expected more and the spirit certainly did... Maybe when the time is right you can explain to you friend what was happening in that moment and then relay the info her friend wanted her to know. Your gifts could be great tools for healing if you choose to use them in that way.

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    • #3
      Some individuals still exist in a "cruise control" mindset from day to day. Meaning they are stuck in the reality society has defined. It is a repetive cycle that becomes quite dull after a while. The way I learned to deal with this issue concerning most of humanity and the individuals I interact with face to face is to wear the mask that grins and lies. I do not act like what or who I truly am. That is what I need to do for the moment and I am okay with that. As long as I never lose sight of my essence. That I never have, of course.

      I used to fear death, now I could care less. If it is my time to leave this world then so be it. I was more at peace when I was not here. I have to complete my assignment first whatever that may be. As for relating to people about death, I gave up on that a long time ago.

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      • #4
        I also agree with what BeautifulMind posted. She is very insightful.

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        • #5
          I agree with BeautifulMind. Your tools, or senses are to be used for a reason. Listen to them, and don't let your ego or insecurities get in the way. Try an approach like,
          "I know you're upset that the last thing you did with your friend was argue, but don't let that be what you remember. That person isn't dead, only their body is, but their soul is still very much alive. They know that the arguement didn't mean anything, and that it didn't mean that you cared anyless. Remember your friend for who they were, for the better times you shared, the laughs, the smiles...They don't want you to feel guilty or sad because of this. They want you to live your life, and make the best of it...."
          If you get anything specific from the spirit of their friend, throw that in too. Let them know their friend is their with them, and still loves them. It's probably the best comfort you can offer.

          Be mindful that in grieving there are 5 stages, Denial, Anger, Barganing, Depression, and Acceptance. They don't always go in order and can interlope. Your friend may express anger or denial towards what you tell her, but in the end the message will sink in. It's not you she'd be angry with, but the truth of what you're saying because it will make her face the facts of the situation and make it real to her. Her friend is deceased, and their last moments together were spent on bad terms, but she is still living and needs to continue on and not blame herself or feel guilt. People don't always want to face the truth, but will do it eventually when they realize they are going backwards and should just move forward. However, more than likely, she'll be greatful and may find some relief in what you tell her.
          sigpic
          "An angel sits upon the step, with a calling in her eyes,
          A glance into the pages, of the story of her life..."

          ~K.L. "Lost Voices"

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          • #6
            I think the biggest hurdle that I've trying to jump is my conscious ego. I'm gaining control over it more and more by the day but it still acts like an anchor when it comes to certain things. Sometimes I'll feel a presence but I'm still unable to see it clearly. I'm still working on trusting my other sense. It's a little difficult....I'm 24 and I been living a lot of things in 3 Dimensions and I'm just beginning to break away from it. The work is hard, but I like challenges.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ajani Peace View Post
              So last night, I spent the night with a friend of mine (we won't talk about why) Before she fell asleep she told me a story about how she got into an argument with a friend of hers Then she told me that she got a phone call from her sister with news of his death.

              She told me she was sad and she started crying. I understand why she was sad....the last thing that happened with a good friend of hers was an argument. I don't understand what I'm supposed to say to her to comfort her. The reason why i didn't know what to say was....just as she's telling this story, I felt a presence in the room that shouted "TALK TO HER FOR ME!" Then when I refuse it felt as though the presence was angry.

              So she's there crying....I'm there sensing the presence of the person she's crying about....I couldn't say anything comfort her...I started feeling her sadness...I got a little frustrated because I couldn't tell her that her friend was standing right there.....I felt bad because the presence seemed angry....Hell, I didn't even know what the presence was saying SPECIFICALLY. I just knew that it wanted me to speak to her for him. REALLY OVERWHELMING!

              Death is something that I understand in a way that not many people understand. People see death as an end....I see it as a transformation. I don't associate death with the negative so it's very difficult for me to relate to people regarding it. Anyone else have similar story or problem?

              Hello Ajani Peace,

              How are you this evening?

              I was just roaming around curious on the internet tonight and happen across your thread here. I would suggest that you spend alot of time with your friend right now, if it's possible.

              dreamwalker

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              • #8
                i don't think death should bother you, like you i believe it is a transformation. And there is nothing you can say to make death better for anyone,no words can make the pain go away that is felt when you loose someone, but you can BE there, offer a hug (so many underestimate the healing that comes with touch), don't leave the grieving to themselves... wish i could help more, my heart is with you and your friend.
                ~ A Clockwork Indigo ~

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                • #9
                  As a nurse I was in situations constantly where I needed to comfort someone and yet I could not reinforce their beliefs. I really doesn't matter what you believe, It matters that the person that you are with need comfort and you should give comfort in any way possible.
                  I learned to show support and compassion by agreeing with the concept they were talking about.
                  When a family member was crying and talking about their loved one being in heaven, that isn't a concept that I hold true but I don't have to lecture them at this time about my beliefs, all I have to say is yes I am sure they are now well and healthy and are not hurting anylonger. People at that time want to be able to talk not to listen.They need comfort and reassurance and it really isn't the time to have a well you know what I believe discussion.
                  At those times, try to get out of yourself enough to see what their need is and without betraying your beliefs, find ways to reassure them that all is how it should be.
                  There is plenty of time later to talk about and discuss beliefs and ideals.

                  That is the time to give of yourself as proof of your beliefs and ideals.
                  Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

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                  • #10
                    even in death people are able to hold on to this life if they can not let it go and are unsatisfied. I personally feel I am comfortable with my death and will transcend. I feel tho I will lead one more life in the future. I spoke about that life with a person in dream land. we were in one of the places we come to meet.
                    To my lady the earth my bearer, I am her Knight. Too her people I am a Guardian. But I ultimately am a Prince.

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                    • #11
                      Death is so complicated. People have written many things about it. Death is the most natural thing, yet it's forms and effects on the living are what gives Death it's power. I see Death the same way as Captain Mar-vel (Marvel Comics). Fight death, but when the time comes show no fear. "I no longer need the illusion." He states to Thanos.

                      Another danger of Death is the obsession of it. In fiction one end of the spectrum is Lord Voldemort that wants to become immortal. On the other end (and more frightening in my opinion) is Thanos who hates all that live. Thanos worships Death and tried to destroy the Marvel Universe several times to show his love.
                      MichaelGabrielRaphaelUrielCadmaelZadkiel

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                      • #12
                        Thanos sounds a bit like Kefka.

                        I'm personally terrified of death. The idea that I will one day not be here is simply overwhelming to me. It's difficult to image that the world will continue, but I won't be here to see it.
                        "Where there is love, there is life, And where there is life, there is hope, (There is hope...), And in hope we find the sight to see
                        The essence of divinity
                        " - The Cruxshadows, "Defender."

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                        • #13
                          The Death of Captain Marvel (Mar-vel) is my favorite grapic novel of all time. It talks about life and death. It deals with big themes. The timing of the panels makes everything real.

                          Captain Marvel died surronded by his friends & family. The Skrull Empire gave him the highest medal "for being their greatest foe". Rick Jones commented on his own people not showing anything. Mar-vel reminded Jones that he betrayed his own people. He said "I have a good woman who loves me. I have many good friends here. Let the Kree keep their medals. Who needs them?"

                          I would love to be that content when I die.
                          MichaelGabrielRaphaelUrielCadmaelZadkiel

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                          • #14
                            Should Death bother anyone? ....

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                            • #15
                              Death = a good nap.

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