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  • How to know if he really wants you for you?

    How do you tell the difference between a guy that really wants you, for you, and a guy that wants you a bit, but not a lot, not enough, or just feels sexually passionate in general, and/or is charming in general...but doesn't really want you for you, and you are not like his "favorite" in this way? (if you know what I mean...)...

    I'm asking for the future, what if I meet someone I really like, I would want to be sure that he really liked me for me...and that he genuinely cared about me...

    And how do I trust it, acknowledge it, if it is true that he does, I used to think that I would just know...but what if it happens and I don't just know?

    Mum and sis were talking a bit the other day about men, and this guy in my work place (who is greek), and they were asking (like ooooo! maybe...) about him...I'm not into him in this way, and one of the things that I said is "I'm a freak" inside and would want to be with another freak, not with someone who wasn't...you know, not the "average guy"...when I say freak, I don't mean it in a "bad" way, I mean it in a way that means different from the usual in some ways (most of you probably know what I mean).

    Edit, just to add, I'm pretty shy in this way, and not very experienced, so some things may work differently for me...(and some things that work on most other women, will not work on me...perhaps that could make it more difficult for a man to "get me")...
    Last edited by Amethyst; 05-16-2011, 09:17 PM.

  • #2
    normally if the guy do his job well you never know that he doesn't want you for you

    the more important i think is that he make effort to make you happy, and make you feel the one, if there is not this forget it he he after you can always be decieved by a charmer
    Last edited by h0bby1; 05-16-2011, 09:18 PM.

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    • #3
      When you meet the one who wants you for you, there will be no doubt! You won't be asking questions. You will feel like you are together in one "energetic egg", so to speak, and you will be prepared to do anything for him. You will recognize each other.
      Wish you all the best!
      Here before you is the natural great perfection of things just as they are.
      Lama Surya Das

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      • #4
        Originally posted by AllegraClara View Post
        When you meet the one who wants you for you, there will be no doubt! You won't be asking questions. You will feel like you are together in one "energetic egg", so to speak, and you will be prepared to do anything for him. You will recognize each other.
        Wish you all the best!
        This is what I believed it would be like...but is it always that easy for everyone when they meet one of the right ones? (like say if there are 20 right ones in this world, and you meet one of them, one of the ones). I guess I feel a bit worried that I might mess it up by not trusting that a guy really wants me for me, because I need to know before I dive in...

        (and thanks!)

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        • #5
          Maybe I worried a bit just cause I haven't met him yet...maybe it will be that I just will know...doesn't mean it will be all comfy and all smooth...and easy...maybe for some...

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          • #6
            Originally posted by h0bby1 View Post
            normally if the guy do his job well you never know that he doesn't want you for you

            the more important i think is that he make effort to make you happy, and make you feel the one, if there is not this forget it he he after you can always be decieved by a charmer
            I don't want to be deceived...or messed about, or played with...I guess most people don't!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
              I guess I feel a bit worried that I might mess it up by not trusting that a guy really wants me for me, because I need to know before I dive in...

              (and thanks!)
              You won't need to trust, you will just know without any doubt. You can't miss such knowing, don't worry
              Here before you is the natural great perfection of things just as they are.
              Lama Surya Das

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
                How do you tell the difference between a guy that really wants you, for you, and a guy that wants you a bit, but not a lot, not enough, or just feels sexually passionate in general, and/or is charming in general...but doesn't really want you for you, and you are not like his "favorite" in this way? (if you know what I mean...)...

                I'm asking for the future, what if I meet someone I really like, I would want to be sure that he really liked me for me...and that he genuinely cared about me...

                And how do I trust it, acknowledge it, if it is true that he does, I used to think that I would just know...but what if it happens and I don't just know?

                Mum and sis were talking a bit the other day about men, and this guy in my work place (who is greek), and they were asking (like ooooo! maybe...) about him...I'm not into him in this way, and one of the things that I said is "I'm a freak" inside and would want to be with another freak, not with someone who wasn't...you know, not the "average guy"...when I say freak, I don't mean it in a "bad" way, I mean it in a way that means different from the usual in some ways (most of you probably know what I mean).

                Edit, just to add, I'm pretty shy in this way, and not very experienced, so some things may work differently for me...(and some things that work on most other women, will not work on me...perhaps that could make it more difficult for a man to "get me")...
                Ame...

                You must be yourself always...do not put on an act for him in anyway...he must see you as you are, even at those times when you aren't really fun to be around.

                Show him you at your best and your worst and don't worry about how you may appear...let him know your thoughts...your feelings. It isn't important that you impress him...what is important is that you get to know the essence of the person you are with and that they know what your intentions are even if your actions aren't always a reflection of those intentions.

                You will know if he can go through the worst and still want to stay...that means that he's in for the long haul.
                Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by AllegraClara View Post
                  You won't need to trust, you will just know without any doubt. You can't miss such knowing, don't worry
                  If that was true I wouldn't have been played hundreds of times by horrible men who really had me thinking they were something good. So I politely disagree with this and say that the only real way is to take it very slow, and make them earn your trust before you give them your body and heart.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by climbing View Post
                    If that was true I wouldn't have been played hundreds of times by horrible men who really had me thinking they were something good. So I politely disagree with this and say that the only real way is to take it very slow, and make them earn your trust before you give them your body and heart.
                    I will dare to say that maybe you mistook your projection for reality. I've seen lots of women who claimed that they loved their partners although they were very unhappy in that relationship (and admitted that). But, than the real love happened just like I described, and they had an epiphany - they saw that their former "love" was in fact desperate need to love and be loved.
                    Here before you is the natural great perfection of things just as they are.
                    Lama Surya Das

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Lol what? This thread reminds of discussion of free love. People saying I want, he/she must prove me something ahaha Does Sun ask you to prove something, and berries in the forest that your eat? Do flowers complain that you did not come to see them again?

                      To be honest Amethyst when I read post that you feel not belonging alot I felt hey such person would most likely figure out fun of simply sharing now I am like emm where did all those he loves me loves me not coming from. Perhaps if you choose write how come you reason this way.

                      Many people dont talk to me and many do, and the more people for example dont smile on the street the more I feel like smiling and the more people are scared to love say the more I feel like just sharing Love in anyway possible

                      So how do your guys react in similar circumstances?

                      I encourage everyone, folks in a wise way simply hug, kiss and dance and have fun now

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                      • #12
                        This is the problem I think people have ( I am guessing as I have never been in a relationship) that you can't actually know until you listen to this song.



                        As you can see it's simple.

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                        • #13
                          I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Stop asking those sorts of questions.
                          If you send out energy that is always insecure or questioning, the reciever will see you as clingy or secretive.
                          Instead you have asked a question about yourself. As if you are hard to relate to because you are so different.
                          You aren't so different. That's what you will find when you open yourself to allow what your heart wants not what family or anyone else thinks.
                          Oh and 'experience' has nothing to do with attraction.
                          Put aside your anxiety and relax. Like attracts like. That is the law.
                          Last edited by Lady Neptune; 05-17-2011, 12:44 PM.
                          ~~it is no measure of health, to be adjusted to a sick society~~
                          ...~~may the bridges I burn light the way~~...

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by climbing View Post
                            If that was true I wouldn't have been played hundreds of times by horrible men who really had me thinking they were something good. So I politely disagree with this and say that the only real way is to take it very slow, and make them earn your trust before you give them your body and heart.
                            I understand, have seen women I know (friends and family) go through the same thing with one or more men...

                            Some women might get lucky and never experience being messed about/played with, in a relationship (that is not true love) and/or when dating or by male friends who give mixed signals (hot and then cold, etc), it seems to me, from what I've seen, that most women experience this, before they find true love...so, how many women totally 100% trust a guy that is one of the ones, or right for them, at the beginning? And how many women find true love? (and when...).

                            I don't think it's a negative thing to be aware of this, and/or to discuss this...or to want to be sure...

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by alg View Post
                              Lol what? This thread reminds of discussion of free love. People saying I want, he/she must prove me something ahaha Does Sun ask you to prove something, and berries in the forest that your eat? Do flowers complain that you did not come to see them again?

                              To be honest Amethyst when I read post that you feel not belonging alot I felt hey such person would most likely figure out fun of simply sharing now I am like emm where did all those he loves me loves me not coming from. Perhaps if you choose write how come you reason this way.

                              Many people dont talk to me and many do, and the more people for example dont smile on the street the more I feel like smiling and the more people are scared to love say the more I feel like just sharing Love in anyway possible

                              So how do your guys react in similar circumstances?

                              I encourage everyone, folks in a wise way simply hug, kiss and dance and have fun now
                              I share "my" love with people (and cats) everyday...why do some people sometimes make an assumption, when someone posts this kind of thing, that their heart is not open enough, or that they are not loving enough?

                              Some of my kind of fun is not your kind of fun (do you belly dance?), that doesn't mean that I don't have fun...for example, going on lots of dates, is not my kind of fun, but it is for some people...

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