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Saturn Return - Come again?

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  • Saturn Return - Come again?

    When I first heard the term “Saturn Return” I was 25 years old. I was standing in the physical science section of a Barnes & Nobel in Chesapeake, Virginia with my two-year-old daughter on my hip and thumbing through a copy of “The Hallographic Universe” by Michael Talbot and trying not to be rude to the little woman standing in front of me.

    “I’m sorry ma’am, could you repeat that?”

    “I said, you may not realize it now, but you have your work cut out for you” she said brightly.

    The little woman was sixty if she was a day, and dressed like something straight out of an advertisement for ‘new age living.’ Flowy skirt, tunic, leather boots laced to her knees, her almost white hair tied back with a scarf and enough dangly jewelry to open her own shop.

    I glanced down at my daughter, thinking she was talking about her. My angel baby. Even at two years old she rarely gave me any problems; unless of course I was trying to feed her beets. I looked back, confused.

    “Good heavens, not the baby!” said the woman, rolling her eyes and reaching out to ruffle my daughter’s hair. The movement set all the bracelets on her arm to clinking and clacking. I’d never seen so many bracelets on one arm before; stones in every color and shape, leather bands with letters engraved on them; a cuff that looked like a copy of an Egyptian piece.

    “She’ll be fine. She’s been here lots of times, haven’t you beautiful?” she said, laughing gently. To my surprise, my daughter, usually very reserved around strangers, grinned at her and said “all!” For some reason this made the woman laugh again.

    “See?” she said, looking back at me. “She’ll be fine. No, I was talking about you.”

    “Me?”

    “Yes, you. You’ve hidden it all away, haven’t you?” she said shaking her head.

    I scowled at her, not liking where this was headed. There was no way she could know about what I'd walked away from.

    She reached out a finger and touched the point between my eyebrows. “Up here – you locked it all away and refuse to let it out. Like I said, you have you work cut out for you.” She sighed, and then her look turned sad.

    “Right now you think I’m nuttier than a fruit cake, and that’s allright” she said with a small, wistful smile. “But you’ll remember this one day, probably after it happens, just remember what I’m telling you now.

    When you come to your Saturn Return everything you’ve tucked away up here,” she tapped me between the eyebrows again, “will make itself heard and you’ll have to make a choice.” She paused, took a deep breath then said, “when you come to that point you’ll either have to chose to continue on as you are,” she shuddered slightly “or you’ll have to completely reassess everything and become the person you were meant to be.”

    She turned her head sideways then, looking at me sharply, and I remember thinking how much she looked like a little bird; a bird looking curiously at something shiny she’d found on the ground.

    “They’re going to try to keep you from waking up though I think, they’re going to try hard. It’s important that you fight them.” She straightened her head then, gave a sharp little nod as if something had met with her approval, and then gave herself a shake, causing all her baubles to jangle again.

    “Very important.”

    Then she turned on her heel and walked away, all the material of her skirts and tunic and scarf sort of fluttering behind her. None of it had made sense. Silly new age clap trap. Somewhere beneath the surface of my mind memories of when I’d been a kid started bubbling towards the surface, but I put a lid on that quickly. That was over. Done with. Besides, she’d said it. She was nuts.

    “Mom-mom-mom” my daughter was patting my face now, trying to get my attention. “mom – mom, write!” she said, frowning at me.

    “Write?”

    “write lady!” she said again, then reached down and patted my purse where I always kept my journal so that I could record random thoughts and odd things that happened to me. I remember writing it all down while my daughter sat pulling all the books off of the “geology” shelf, stacking them in piles, and then putting them back on the shelf again. The little bird-woman’s bizzare behavior joined all the other oddities in my journal, and eventually the journal joined its fellows in a rubbermaid box in the attic.

    It wasn’t until I was sorting through the boxes about two years after I’d gone through my own Saturn Return (though I didn’t know then that it was called that) that I found the journal again – and re-read the incident. So much had happened in the five years since that little woman had spoken to me. Curious I went to work researching the term she’d used.
    Last edited by sshenry; 12-07-2010, 06:41 AM.

    “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
    ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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  • #2
    Research on Saturn Return

    I was probably about 31 or so when I discovered that journal and the entry about the woman in the bookstore and, given what had happened to me in the last few years, decided to look into what she'd said.

    The term "Saturn Return" refers to the time when Transiting Saturn's position is identical to Saturn's placement in the birth chart. This culmination of a cycle occurs roughly every 28-29 years for each of us. Just going on this information I nearly quit my research right then. I’ve never been big on Astrology. Not arguing that planetary gravities and tidal pulls can have an effect on people, but the astrological charts and graphs have always left me cold.

    But I kept at it and found that some astrologers refer to the Saturn Return as a sort of cosmic report card; a time when people are forced to re-evaluate everything they’ve come to believe in up to that point; re-think the direction their life is moving in; determine what they need to do to change in order to continue to grow and evolve; to get rid of those things and beliefs and relationships that no longer serve a meaningful purpose in our life. That once we get rid of these things then we have made room for new things; new beliefs and relationships and attitudes. That this re-evaluation period sort of jump-starts the next part of your life.

    There’s just one problem with this – and that is that this same time period (ages 28-32) when the Saturn Return occurs for most people is aproximately the same time that most individuals, at least in western society, are encouraged to “get serious” and “shoulder their responsibilities.”

    Hindsight being twenty twenty, ten years after I did the original research I realize that so many things start building up at this point in a person’s life – it’s almost as if it were a conspiracy. Many people are just getting married, or are thinking about having children at this age. Careers are beginning to take shape – promotions encouraging people to move out of an apartment and into a real house, with a real mortgage.

    Mind you – children and a mortagae and marriage do not necessarily mean that you won’t be able to take advantage of your Saturn Return; it just makes it more difficult because of the opportunities and obligations that you have accrued, but all of these responsibilities and obligations conspiring to quell the restlessness that is building at this point; to silence the voice in your head that is screaming to be heard. “Is this all there is? Isn’t there anything more? Isn’t it time for some real change?”

    “Oh yes,” society soothes. “There’s plenty more. Trade in your car for a more expensive model; your house for a bigger house. Put in for that promotion to pay for it all. Channel your restlessness into your job. You can’t change the status quo, so change your hair style, your clothes. You’re not happy? Take out a loan, put in a swimming pool, go on a vacation. Anything so that you don’t have to think about the questions that are going through your head.”

    And, before you know it, the window of opportunity has closed, and it will be another 28 or so years before everything aligns so completely again.

    Did you take advantage of that window? Did you use it to re-evaluate your life? Did you take the step outside of your box and allow it to penetrate your soul? If so – change will follow over the next decade; cascading from one area of your life to the next. Realizations and opportunities blooming in ways you could never have imagined; skills and abilities manifesting as you least expect them.

    However, if you dug in your heels and fought the change; fought to maintain the status quo (and this happens more times than not) it is as if a giant door slams down, and all those wonderous possibilites start sorting themselves out into practical explanations for the things that presented themselves as opportunities for change; catalysts into a new way of thinking. Once that door has slammed closed, it as if the color goes out of the world and suddenly, where once everything had meaning, now nothing has meaning, and the world is pointless except as it pertains to existing, getting from one day to the next. And you’ll try to find meaning, and sometimes if you are determined you may just be able to pull yourself out of the pointlessness, though it can be extremely difficult (the term “easier for a camel to travel through the eye of a needle” comes to mind).

    But even if you miss your window of opportunity – its not a hopeless cause. It can still be done. One can still re-evaluate their life and chose a new direction; it is just much more difficult to do without the Saturn Return catalyst to jump start you. And, if worse comes to worst, there is always the second saturn return – the next window of opportunity that comes between the ages of 56 and 60. Maybe without the building responsibilities, the next time it will be easier.

    So – have you been through your own Saturn Return yet? Care to share your stories?
    Last edited by sshenry; 12-07-2010, 06:44 AM.

    “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
    ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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    • #3
      When I went through mine I did not know what it was but later learned about it. Went through a divorce and a reevaluation of what my life was about and what I was going to do with it.

      It brings up your truth right into your face and if you don't see it it will continue to confront you. If noticed many like me see that the truth of who you are is more important than anything and started following truth.

      You actually can have 3 saturn returns in your life if you live long enough. The next one is at the end of your 50's to 60. Many people die around then or just get terminally ill if you have avoided truth and have been living a lie. If you are following your truth it is not going to be difficult as the last one. Around the end of your 80's to 90 is the last return.
      Last edited by FirstWave; 12-07-2010, 07:45 AM.
      The poetry of life and death lie within the process.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by sshenry View Post
        So – have you been through your own Saturn Return yet? Care to share your stories?[/B]
        When I was 28 years old (four years ago) I had a nervous breakdown... I suppose I could sit here and write paragraph after paragraph about what caused it. But I'm not sure it would make much sense to anyone that didn't go through it. It was caused by a lot of things... A job I hated but couldn't get out of... my toxic family, strain on a relationship, too many encounters with negative people who suck all my energy... I just lost it one day. I didn't do anything violent, I just became really depressed.

        My depression caused me to think irrationally about things. Suddenly I was afraid of things that never bothered me before, like leaving my house. My thought process was so screwed up... I would think things like "I have to stay home today because really bad things will happen if I go out." And it's not like I thought I would do bad things if I went out... for some reason I just thought that my leaving would cause some chain reaction and because I left my house there might be some huge disaster on the other side of the world.

        Idk... I can't explain this level of depression to someone who's never felt it. I didn't eat much because I had no appitite... just getting out of bed every morning was a struggle. It was the worst thing I've ever felt.

        And then, about two years ago, I was talking to one of my friends who suffers from depression on a more chronic basis... And I told her my story. She mentioned it might have had something to do with my Saturn Return. I had never heard that term before. She told me for some people it's a really great thing, and for some it's a really devastating thing.

        I guess if that was the case, I was doing something really wrong before that...
        Life On The Rocinante':
        http://valkrane.wordpress.com
        Last Updated December 31st

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        • #5
          I was 28 when I went through mine - it began simultaneously with the birth of my youngest daughter. I remember the morning after I gave birth to her; standing by the window with her in my arms; looking out at the sunrise and feeling everything I'd been built my foundations on begining to slip away. It was odd - I honestly did start to fight it - that slipping sensation - actually sent me into a depression that lasted a solid two years - but I came out of it in time (thank god for meditation!). And it gave me a new focus - like you said, I started following my truth - DISCOVERING my truth.

          It wasn't an immediate sort of thing - it was more of a catalyst, it propelled me int an entirely new way of thinking and seeing and being. I opened up to those skills and abilities I'd "tuned out" when I was sixteen and trying very hard to live a normal life. The last 14 years have been like peeling an onion - layer after layer being removed and new truths revealed. Almost a treasure hunt

          It turned my world upside down - quite literally - broke my workd into a zillion fragments and I had to decide which ones I wanted to replace in my life - and which to leave out. I have much more empathy for Humpty Dumpty now.
          Last edited by sshenry; 12-07-2010, 07:52 AM.

          “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
          ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

          sigpic

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Valkrane View Post
            I guess if that was the case, I was doing something really wrong before that...
            Not necessarily wrong - but you got roped in by the lures put out by society and embraced by the ego; those things that we are told are important, that we are encouraged to lay our foundations on.

            I look at the Saturn Return as a good thing really - a shake-up, the chance to re-invent your life in such a way that you can divest yourself of those illusory webs and start living authentically

            “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
            ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Following truth when you have lived a lie is quite the ride. A hard ride to say the least. Lots of ups and downs. Had problems with depression also but overall the pain and heartache was worth going through.
              The poetry of life and death lie within the process.

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              • #8
                I like your analogy of slipping... For me, it was more like a switch. I tried to explain this to a counselor when I was going through all this and she just didn't get it. It was litterally like some switch was flipped in my head. At the time I felt like a lot of things were turned off... but now looking back I think the switch actually turned more things on.
                Life On The Rocinante':
                http://valkrane.wordpress.com
                Last Updated December 31st

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                • #9
                  i have always felt my own Saturn return looming large in my future. i would like to think that if i have procured certain material attachments by that time, Nov 2013, i would have enough resolve to let them go and keep going deeper. but i have often worried, what if what i am meant to leave behind will be things like the desire to keep going deeper, to make a stronger connection to source, or the attempt to understand this process, or love itself! i imagine to leave behind such things that have held such immense importance to me would be very difficult. they seem to be my own status quo. p.s. the mention of Michael Talbot's book in a thread about Saturn return was a huge synchronicity for me. thank you and Namaste.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Valkrane View Post
                    I like your analogy of slipping... For me, it was more like a switch. I tried to explain this to a counselor when I was going through all this and she just didn't get it. It was litterally like some switch was flipped in my head. At the time I felt like a lot of things were turned off... but now looking back I think the switch actually turned more things on.
                    yes yes yes! I've used that expression to people to explain it. The switch. Like a switch was flipped in my head - when the switch was flipped all those things that didn't really matter began slipping away

                    Does that make sense? Wakes you up to what is really important. What really matters.

                    “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
                    ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

                    sigpic

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by FirstWave View Post
                      Following truth when you have lived a lie is quite the ride. A hard ride to say the least. Lots of ups and downs. Had problems with depression also but overall the pain and heartache was worth going through.
                      The funny thing is - fourteen years later I'm STILL feeling reverberations from that four-year timespan. I wouldn't trade it though - the insight that has come out of letting go of those things that I used to think were so important....eh, it's definitely worth it.

                      “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
                      ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

                      sigpic

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Blindseeker View Post
                        i have always felt my own Saturn return looming large in my future. i would like to think that if i have procured certain material attachments by that time, Nov 2013, i would have enough resolve to let them go and keep going deeper. but i have often worried, what if what i am meant to leave behind will be things like the desire to keep going deeper, to make a stronger connection to source, or the attempt to understand this process, or love itself! i imagine to leave behind such things that have held such immense importance to me would be very difficult. they seem to be my own status quo. p.s. the mention of Michael Talbot's book in a thread about Saturn return was a huge synchronicity for me. thank you and Namaste.
                        I'll tell you - it's not an easy process. Not in the least. But at least if you are aware of its approach you can prepare yourself; mentally at least. It's a little disconcerting to have it hit you broadside without a clue as to what the hell is happening. At least you'll have a context.

                        “What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
                        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

                        sigpic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Everything turned inside out for me.
                          Thats when I started down the path of conspiracy theories, and eventually started learning about human potential.
                          Started meditating and doing breathwork.
                          Thats the year some apparition came into my room and tried to pull me out of my body.
                          I just turned 31 and I am STILL in the midst of this nonsense.
                          Thats when my kundalini surges really started too.

                          [shakes head]


                          Definitly something to it, in fact I would suggest the "mid-life crisis" is the norms way of addressing this phenomenon without having to think about it very much.
                          If enough people stop having bank accounts, stop driving cars everywhere, stop supporting big buisness and major corporations, stop consuming useless crap stolen out of the earth and shipped all over the god damned place to be processed here, stored here, sold there, eaten somewhere else, just gennerally stop FEEDING THE BEAST... It will die.

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                          • #14
                            It is very different than a mid-life crisis. That usually happens around 40-50.

                            I would totally agree that the saturn return is the spiritual part of yourself trying to make itself known to you.
                            Last edited by FirstWave; 12-07-2010, 08:38 AM.
                            The poetry of life and death lie within the process.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I always thought mid-life was early thirties, to mid thirties, because the average life span is barely seventy years.

                              Just a loose thought making a connection anyways.









                              FUCKING SATURN.
                              It keeps coming up lately...


                              Thats all for now peeps.
                              If enough people stop having bank accounts, stop driving cars everywhere, stop supporting big buisness and major corporations, stop consuming useless crap stolen out of the earth and shipped all over the god damned place to be processed here, stored here, sold there, eaten somewhere else, just gennerally stop FEEDING THE BEAST... It will die.

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