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My first poem, Winter doldrums

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  • My first poem, Winter doldrums

    I don't follow structure rules because I...don't follow rules very well (shocking trait around here, I know!) but here is my very first poem. Ever. Written oh, about five minutes ago. I was inspired by Dabbs Southern Childhood poem.

    Here is a little northern exposure.

    Winter Doldrums

    A Minnesota winter knocks
    Icy flakes dance the skies
    A snow angel never realized, sighs

    As temperatures drop
    Snowballs densely packed no more
    The quiet cold we shall not stop
    Lungs freeze, schools close
    The lonely, they do not matter

    Foolish puppies, innocence lost
    Escape warmth to certain death
    A lake's unknown cost

    A crack, a rift, a surface break
    Little legs struggle for life
    Desperate paws reach and reach again
    His energy wanes, his body weakens
    The certainty of darkness cuts like a knife

    This came to me from a memory as a 6 year old who tripped on the neighbor's dog's paw as it stuck out from the ice, after sneaking out of the house and going on the lake before it was fully frozen.

    You could see the path behind him where he kept trying to climb out but the ice kept breaking. I cried for much of that day, tears of sadness for the little guy as he tried so hard to live, did everything he could to survive.
    "The world is a dream, dreamed by a single dreamer, where all of the dream characters dream too."

    -Arthur Shopenhauer

  • #2
    That was a wonderfully done poem. Sad ..and depressing...got the point across well!

    the puppy story is sad..
    Take care. xo

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    • #3
      Originally posted by turtledove View Post
      That was a wonderfully done poem. Sad ..and depressing...got the point across well!

      the puppy story is sad..
      Thank you...
      "The world is a dream, dreamed by a single dreamer, where all of the dream characters dream too."

      -Arthur Shopenhauer

      Comment


      • #4
        Some vivid imagery there.

        "Desperation" notwithstanding, there's something defiantly victorious about those 'reaching paws', especially in light of your explanation. After all, one of them didnít (and perhaps simply wouldn't) succumb to the icy submergence. Instead, it "stuck out" from beyond a frozen grave and grabbed you in a way you have not yet forgotten.
        Last edited by Icarus_Fallen; 03-07-2009, 08:09 AM.
        sigpic

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        • #5
          Wow... what a memory to have! You told that well! Good job on your first! I hope you keep writing!
          ""I'm afraid sometimes
          you'll play lonely games too,
          games you can't win
          because you'll play against you""
          ó Dr. Seuss

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          • #6
            beautiful.. I easily visualized reading your words.
            Children Learn Respect BY Example

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