I'm completely bewildered, rabana used the F word ... epic!
Not sure why it's so difficult to talk about shame; perhaps the feeling in itself suggests that whatever led to shame is something one should hide ... it makes "sense" to hide the associated shame too then, no?
I did too until I read it. It makes a lot of sense now. Shame is very young. Shame is more physical. It is often instilled around the age of 2 or 3. There is no atonement for shame. You are just defected.
Guilt there is atonement for. We can make up for something we feel guilty about.
Shame is close to humiliation. There is a chapter in my book on 'healthy shame'. I'll read that later. That might be where it is related to guilt.
Info taken from Chapter Three 'Excessive Shame: The Shame Based Person' from the book Letting Go Of Shame by Ronald Potter-Efron and Patricia Potter-Efron.
"Most people can stand up to normal, temporary shame. That kind of shame certainly hurts, but it will disappear. Good shame provides messages we need to hear. But, for the person who lives in excessive shame, shame never seems to go away, no matter what she does. If she listened to it all the time, she might be driven to take desperate actions or just give up in despair. This extreme shame seems to painful to endure.
There are several ways people distort their shame feelings. The person who represses shame may not even be aware she is defending herself from the feeling of shame. She may not even recognize shame as a problem.
Defenses against shame may help the person deal with self hatred and pain. But in the long run they do not heal shame."