My family

Unfortunately I am stuck In this house I call home for another year. I am almost 18 but I need to finish school. I know I am not a parent but I was hoping maybe some parents could help me. To an extent I have raised my self since I was 7. I have always had a roof over my head and food to eat, but thats it. I can't complain because I know their are people who would love that, but back to thought. I have had to teach myself morals, do ALL the house chores, cook my meals,hope I did it all right so i wouldn't "get punished" and hope to god I would turnout NOTHING like my parents. Let me tell you for the past almost 11 years I have been working hard on not picking up on there horrible traits. I love my parents do not get me wrong, they just do not know how to be parents.
So the point of giving you that little insight is because I need your help. I now live with my mom and have for two years in September, and she is a little better but she does not know how to raise and indigo child to save her life. I sadly do not know all that I need. Do any of you know how to make an environment more "indigo friendly" so to say.
I am allergic to so much and "they"( people in my house) don't even care. I am allergic to cats there are 6. I am allergic to smoke, there are 4 smokers. I am allergic to red dye #40, they bye almost EVERY thing with red dye in it. I constantly remind them that I am highly allergic to it and they just tell me to "get over it" like I can actually change such a thing. I am allergic to most cleaner and fabrics, and they buy all the ones I am allergic to.
I repeatedly explain this to them and nothing. I feel like I am talking to a stone wall.
Maturity is another BIG problem I have both my mom and my step dad are so less mature than me they drive me crazy. They are like middle schoolers for real. example:
Mom:"your boobs are big"
Me: "emm, thank you...?"
Mom: " that wasn't a compliment but whatever."
she makes rash decisions that make no sence at all. She can't spend money correctly. If she had to pick between sodas(only for her) and cigarettes or feeding and clothing us, let me tell you she has option one all lined up and ready. I am not just being mean or venting either she has actually done this on several occasions. We will still have enough food not eat but all we will have left is bread and pasta and then she will mooch off my grandparent(whom we live with) If they try to talk to her about it she screams at them(its her parents)
I am dead serious this is the maturity I have to deal with day in and day out.
The only thing almost worse then then maturity is how she punishes and says things.
She will tell me that for example I only have until 10 on the internet even thought it is on my computer, my grandma's internet, and in my room. So because this makes to sence to me I will ask her why, and you know what she says "because I said so." So I asked her then why did you say so? she tell s "cuz" OMG at this point I am going crazy and I want to throw her out the nearest window!!! What the heck kind of answer is because i said to and cuz.
negativity. She is the most negative vile person I know. She is always in a pissy mood. I am very sensitive so when she is pissy I pick up on it and it makes me piss. So i try to avoid being with her when she is that way. Plus I can tell what she is thinking even when it is about me and she gets so pissed and screams at me she is like get out of my mind asshole"
Last but certainly not least, she has wicked jealousy issues. The psychic we went to last year was telling us how I was an indigo child, and she was explaining how I had a special path. Then she started to tell us how my guardian was a bear and it would watch over me and stuff. Let me tell you when we were done she was not happy. She was like that woman is t, dumb Bitch , don't know what shes talking about. You ain't know of that blah blah blah.. A couple months later she went to a physic alone. She came back and she was like I told you that physic was wrong i just talk to one that said I am the most powerful and you just wish you were. I just nodded my head and said of course you are mom. The funniest part is when she came home i heard her thinking about how she was going to lye to me because the physic told her the same thing about me as the other one. She does stuff like that all the time.



Any suggestions please!!! Any at all

P.S any also that you just know of that can help an indigo's living environment better is good too!!

please even take a stab at helping. 21 veiws and nothing!!!

Hello rainbow - it sounds like you have found yourself in the midst and middle of a difficult situation. First, a hug for you *hug*.

I have two daughters, age 16 and 12, and they have friends who absolutely adore coming to our house because, in their words "your parents care". That's a sad thing, but I guess that would mean that you are not alone in having to deal with immature parents.

Firstly, it seems that you need someone that you can talk to, so let me ask you something - you said you live with your grandparents - can you talk to either of them? Perhaps one of your grandparents would listen to your problems if you sit down and talk to them.

As to the allergies - it does seem insensitive for them to have cats and smoke around you when you are allergic/sensitive to them, but it doesn't look as if that is going to change any time soon. For the Cats and smoke, I can highly reccomend NeilMed / NetiPot....its an over-the-counter aid that uses a salt-water solution to rinse out your sinuses, it costs about 12-14$ at most drug stores (RiteAid, Wal-Mart etc, one box usually lasts about 1-2 months) and is usually in the cold remedies section. Further, as to the cats, keep your bedroom door closed (if this is possible) especially at night so that they can not come in, and keep your linnens washed and your rug vaccumed, that should help with the cat dander. As to your laundry, will they let you do your own laundry? If so, purchase a box of Purex (quite inexpensive, about 4-6$ for a large box of powdered detergent) and it is hypoallergenic, so it won't make you break out (my youngest daughter can not tolerate most laundry detergents, but Purex works for her). One large box should last you 30-40 loads.

As to the Red Dye #4, all I can reccomend is that you do the same for the food as for the laundry, and cook for yourself as much as you can - keep it simple, preferably fresh of course, but barring that, things you can eat out of the can or cook in the microwave.

At this point you may say that money is an issue, I know most 17 year-olds don't have much in the way of extra cash - but do you have a part-time job? Perhaps if you ask your employer for a few more hours on weekends or during vacations you will be able to afford the extra cost of doing your own laundry and the NeilMed rinse and purchasing some of your own foods to take the place of those with Red Dye #40 in them.

All the Best to you!

__________________

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
~Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman

www.sshenry.blogspot.com
www.crystaltransition.blogspot.com

I think it's just people don't know what to say or how to help. Sounds like you're having a horrible time hun, I don't know what to suggest really apart from is there another family member or friends you could live with until you can get your own place? Or even if you could stay a few nights a week somewhere? Can't the welfare help you? Your folks sound incredibly selfish and self-centred, but they obviously don't realise what they're like and don't see what they're doing is affecting you so much. This is a state of total unhappiness on their part, but they probably don't even realise they're so unhappy let alone how to do something about it, but you're on the recieving end of their crap. You at least are aware enough to see what's going on, and adult enough to know you're not going the same way as them - it doesn't help your situation though... while you're living there though, you have to try and deal with it in the best way you can - you sound intelligent, thoughtful, caring and open, unfortunately then it's up to you to do something because you can't change other people - what I mean is that if you really can't get the hell out of that house yet, you have to learn how to get yourself into 'dealing mode', maybe by meditation, getting out whenever you can and spending as little time in that environment as possible, giving yourself time & space to be you instead of this person who gets very little except attitude. Hang out with positive people wherever possible, no matter how old or young they are... give yourself lots of credit for breaking the family pattern, cos that's what you're doing (I had to break mine too) and you should be proud that you're strong enough to be doing it.
I'm sorry I can't be of any more help, but there's alot of people here who you can talk to at least. Stay positive, you will get free

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*hugs* for you rainbow_magic! Hang in there and get through this year. Hold on tight and if you can follow sshenry's advice on food and laundry powder.

As for being in a better headspace around your mother... understand that nothing you can do can change her. That decision has to come from you. Instead focus on yourself, and do everything you can not to play into the roles that you have been playing in the past.

First of all practice grounding and centering meditations every morning before you get out of bed. This will help protect your sensitivity and hopefully stop you from picking up on your mothers vibes.
(http://indigosociety.com/meditation-...unding+sshenry)
Then as you go through your day, try and bring yourself back to that centered place, especially around your mother. Imagine yourself as the center of a big, deep lake - where on the top the surface is getting swished and buffeted around but underneath it is completely still.

Try not to get sucked into your mothers dramas, because the more you play into them, the more you are reinforcing the role that she is playing towards you. She might get confused, when you don't react the way you have in the past. This will probably cause her to (unconsciously) try harder to get a rise out of you.
Try to remain still and calm, listen to what she is saying, but don't react. Listening without reacting allows the other person to hear their own words and thoughts without new information to be fed into it.

__________________

GUS bless you
(God, Universe, Source)

thank you for all of your help so far. I am very great full. I feel lost and alone in my house!!!! heck in my whole town. It makes me better to know there is help, and people to give it, thanks again

Arohanui Rainbow_magic... please please do not hesitate to continue asking questions and for support, either through the threads or through PMs - that is what IS is for

(Arohanui = big love in Maori, native language of New Zealand)

__________________

GUS bless you
(God, Universe, Source)

Hi, thats almost exactly how I grew up tpp. Hang in there, I couldnt wait til I was 18. I know how you feel. My dad would always choose between going to the pub and buying things that I needed. I never had school books, or a proper uniform for school so I never went.
At one point we were living with my grandmother and she kicked out my father which meant I had to go with him. This was devastating as she was the only person in my life that cared and treated me kindly.
When we left my dad got a one bedroom apartment which meant my bedroom was the couch bearing in mind that I was 16.
My father was given money by my mother every week to pay for my upkeep but he always spent it on drink. I got sick of this and kept the money myself. He kicked me out and I ended up in a home for girls and then foster care until I turned 18.

My best advice I would give you is first of all hang in there, it wont last, you dont have much longer to go.
Secondly, look after your mental well being. I would also suggest going to see a counsellor to talk through all those negative experiences. I know you probably cant do that right now but do it when you get the chance. Dont let experiences colour the rest of your free existence.
The words can be so damaging that you dont realise it until a few years later and you could be very angry so find someone to talk to who understands how you will need to get through it and find your true worth.

Sending you lots and lots of love. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi.

I came from a home as well that was not the best of places to grow up. I can tell you from first hand experience that it can be over come. It just takes a good bit of work at times because of self confidence issues and things like that. Some of what you wrote about your mother reminds me a lot of my own mother. I have a sister who is still at home and is 17, and I see my mother just failing to know how to care for a teenager a lot of times. My mother is not a bad person, she just... well, it's complicated. In any case i know how you feel, and you have every right to be frustrated. Besides agreeing with the above comments I can also say that it's import to have an outlet for emotions like anger, frustration, and annoyance. Even if that outlet is as simple as beating the ever loving daylights outta your pillow once in a while. (Be careful of course not to burst it's seam. That would make a lovely mess.) This may seem like over used advice but it really does work... take a walk when you are annoyed.

Another thing you will likely end up needing to do at some point in your life, is tell your mother, adult to adult, that you are though with all this nonsense. She needs to understand that she can't keep acting like this and expect that nothing will ever come back to back fire in her face. I remember one day a few months ago, I went over to my mothers place, while she was in the middle of some dealings with the local bylaw enforcement. She told me that they were coming back later to look at her dog, who was old, sick, was being denied health care, and had been reported. She told me to go into the storage room and if if the bylaw guys went in there, tell them that another dog, who was locked up in there, had simply fallowed me in, because I had gone to look though some storage boxes. I simply told her I would do it once, and then I am though trying to clean up her mess. I think that by helping someone,and putting up with their nonsense time and time again, only makes them less able, or willing to get it together.

Hi
I feel for you rainbow_magic. I have just recently took on and extra child who is in the same situation as you are. She was sharing a couch with her half sister in her step-grandmothers house, in which her step uncle also lives. She spent the night a couple nights in a row with my daughter, until they finally sat down and talked to me about what was going on. He mother is an alcholic/bartender (into drugs) with a good for nothing....boyfriend. I agreed to let her stay here, hoping me being a single mother myself, that I will be able to afford it. But her mother didn't even care where she was staying. I have not talked with her, just for the fact I might go off on her about not caring for her own child. Or maybe I should say too weak a soul to even care for herself. Anyway I understand, its hard. But you are strong. Find any support possible, friends, other relatives, use IS as your sounding board. We will listen. Anything to keep your stress level low. I think you will get through it. Hang in there!

cosmic cuddles rainbow magic

how old are you ?

you may find moving out is the only option

I was like that when I was at home too although my situation wasn't the same the drama's my parents brought home they always imposed on me and negativity / criticism seemed to be a regular thing especially from my dad

my development blossomed once I got away from that

you are you, you should be free to be

just be and that is enough, you lead by example

parents don't always know better I went grey while living with my parents but moving away it went back to normal lol

what does that say

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"The Light of Truth will always outshine the Light of the Sun"
The Infinite Strength in Spirit empowers the Will to embrace the Beauty of Change

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Hi Rainbow!!

Thanks for sharing* I think lots of peepz can relate to your story.
It only can get better!

You find the right place, with the right peepz!
Ít's so cool you have the awareness this isn't supporting for you anymore. Watch the magic. Now you know, so you are not letting yourself down anymore. Things will change for sure! Trust yourself, you are your best buddy at this moment. Do you have anyone to talk with? It can be so helpfull to just let it out to someone close to you irl.

No, can be such a powerfull word to say to people. It maybe can help to start with putting the intent that every day will be your best day, that everything will support you for your best life ever! It works for me.

You are as strong as an oak. A pure lovely tree, with radiating branches and roots,
Listen to the voice inside yourself and you know what to do,

We are here to support you!

Love,
Mirri

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There is only Freedom*~
Multidimensional Energy Impressions
http://www.mirrirocks.com

Rainbow, I feel for you, truly.

I have some friends who live in similar environments.

One of them is an indigo, and he went ballistic. He spends his time at school trying to preach to the kids about his stupid beliefs and ideologies that no one cares about. He thinks that he is the manipulative businessman (although far from it) so he constantly tries hard to put this so-called skill out on his peers, who are too immature and stupid to really understand his motives and decide to crush him instead, constantly talking about how annoying or creepy he is.

So I feel for you. I suggest that if you can't take it anymore, you either run away, or I guess you can stick it out for another year, since you've come this far already.

My situation is similar, but also opposite in some aspects. My parents are super strict, overprotective, and do not care much about me unless it comes in the interest of my education and physical health. They not only ignore, but CRUSH my artistic pursuits, throw insults at me constantly, whether it be about my appearance or about my music, and tell me that I'm just a waste of space. They don't trust me to save my life, so I can't really go to half the places that my friends are allowed to go to. Even when I make throrough plans with friends, they sometimes let their anger get the best of them and cancel them at literally the last minute (we could have droven to the location where I was supposed to meet them and they would immediately turn back to go home, even though we were already there) to punish not only me, but my friends as well.

They know that I have AD/HD (after a long stage of denial, they've come to admitting it), but treat it like it's some sort of sickness and have decided to medicate me with Straterra, which I have to take everyday for, at least according to them, "the rest of my life".

So I feel for you, 'bow. I do, I do.

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Lately, I've been vewwy vewwy sad and have decided to turn my life around, because if we all love each other, anything is possible! So in order to do that, I am looking for a very new quote that I can base my uberly new like awesome saintly life on!

should I use this:

"I love you
You love me
We're best friends like friends should be
With a great big hug and
A kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?"
-Barney the Purple Dinosaur

or this!:
"I am just me"- {{d*@*b}}

i am 17

You are definately not alone in the way you feel, or have felt.

The only advice I really have is a Curtis Mayfield song, "Keep on', Keeping on'"

Life presents some difficult periods, but be comforted something special is on the horizon. It's the in-between days, that suck. The one's where we shed our old clothes, and skins to prepare for the new to walk in.

I want to offer a huge hug... I grew up in a similar way but with my adopted father alone who was never around. So not exactly the same, but the feelings I get around it seem familiar.

That being said, I look back and know that what I wanted especially at your age was support, acknowledgment, guidance, love, friendship to help me make healthy decisions, etc. You aren't going to get that with them and I would never say "talk to them".. It sounds like until you make some changes the situation is going to remain the same. It is true, we cannot change anyone, only ourselves and given your age there are options.

PM me if you want to talk... I keep getting on here instead of working, so I better go, but you are not alone and it sounds like your mom is too stuck in her own childlike state of mind than to be a mom to you!

Lots of hugs!

Tonya