philosophy and marriage

[philosophyme]

When I disagree with an idea I tend to want to explore different ways in which it can be destroyed. I guess I've been having serious issues with the idea of marriage now for over a year and I need fresh ideas and perspectives because it's becoming very difficult for me to place a meaningful value in it.

Why do people get married? Why do people stay in unfulfillable marriages? Is "cheating" immoral or is it the result of mankind's seemingly natural inability to remain monogamous?

I'm looking for a bird's eye view on this so I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts. Thanks.

[Protonexus]

Here is my addition to this:

Twenty-five years old, one sexual partner, never had the overwhelming urge for another.

This one does not understand why others have difficulties remaining monogamous, to the point it is impossible. The only possible factor that comes to mind is that material sexuality has outweighed the sanctity of a monogamous relationship based upon a spiritual connection that builds downward, whereas the material sexual begins in animalistic interest and builds upwards (if at all).

In the end, is not one body the same as another? The material form is quite meaningless without spirit to this one.

With that said, marriage is simply the material and lawful institutionalization/codification of a contract that is made by love that is non-material. Marriage seems to cheapen something that should not be defined, only expressed in every moment. If the love is no longer there, then the contract is a very silly reason to stay together.

[philosophyme]

I think I've found a better way of rephrasing my original question...

If "Marriage seems to cheapen something that should not be defined, only expressed in every moment," (thanks protonexus) then why should we have any type of respect for it, especially when it seems as if its purpose is to act as a glue that keeps an imperfect society from evolving?

[raztaz12]

I like this thread.

I've been with several sexual partners. Three have been in committed relationships. A couple were hook-ups, one was casually dating. I can not do the sleep around for physical pleasure. It might have to do with the way i was raised, but I really dont think that is it. Personally I like having one committed sexual partner, and i do believe that people can have monogamous relationships for life. It takes communication and commitment with the other partner. I believe marriage can work for a lifetime and I believe that marriage is a good thing. It financially merges two individuals, there are tax benefits, there is (if children are in the picture) two parents for the children to learn and grow from. These are only my personal beliefs on marriage... NOW the other side of this is more of my feminism streak coming out.

Marriage was created by Men to own women. I desire you, you are mine, no other man can have you, you must be a virgin so you are pure, women tempt men into adultery so we must have them put away into marriage. Marriage was initially about power over women and owning a woman, giving the man children, giving the man pleasure, but men can sleep around it's okay, but women must be kept in check otherwise they will be the downfall of the man. Men did this because women are life bearers, women hold the key to carrying and delivering children, men were scared by this power. So what do they do? Marriage. Women could no longer choose who to mate with, it was decided. Dowries, virginity, arranged marriages, in some cultures (judaism for example) the more wives you had the more power and influence you had. Marriage was about objectifying women and creating a slave/master mold, that has been in place for thousands of years. Even in the 50's the woman stereotype, barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen. Now we are seeing more women out in the workforce, more men are becoming stay at home dad's... Single fathers, single mothers, it is damaging the way we as a society view marriage, so you see christian radicals standing on the streets screaming that marriage must be kept sacred, marriage must be this, marriage must be that. Homosexuals can not marry because it is not how God intended. Well homosexuality is only mentioned 3 times in the bible, but gluttony is mentioned many times... so Fat people should not be allowed to marry either. It is such a double standard, i like the idea of a pagan marriage. You pledge to stay together for one year, on your anniversary (which is where the anniversary came from) you decide if you want to stay or find someone new. There is no FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE so it doesnt scare people into thinking they need out, which is often why people cheat in marriages.

Anywho... I really want to get married because I know WHY it was created and i know WHY it is in place, i really want to have a big celebration when i tell my beloved that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think it is a beautiful thing and it takes hard work and dedication. You shouldn't be marrying someone if you feel like it would trap you.

[Ian]

Marriage seems to cheapen something that should not be defined, only expressed in every moment

Yes!

When you stop to think about it, it's absurd that signing legal documents ever got mixed up with love.

"Sir do you have a license for that love?"

[Dabbs]

bump... bbl

[Pepe Le Pew]

I got married because everyone told me it was the thing to do. They said get married and have a family or you are weird.
I didn't consider thinking for myself. I love my husband and do not want to go out on him and I love my kids and am glad I had them.
It has been a great experience and if I have it to do over, I will not get married because I wouldn't want to and yet I would not want to hinder anyone elses wish to be with one partner for life.