How to...heal one relationship

[Achilles, Ines.]

I guess this can go here because I want to heal a relationship.

I would like to see your opinions, advices, if you will.

I have a person in my life that I love. But I don't like many things from her. Because... I think she depends on me so much... and she wants so much my energy.... that drains me...that I have had to be very restrictive with her. But then i feel so bad because I can't give her the love she needs. Besides...she has always something very shitty to say that annoys me.. But is not her fault. She just have lots of negativity inside... so.. she can't help but dropping it.

I don't know what's my question for you guys...

Is... like...how to .... be better with her.... but still taking care of myself...

Thanks in advance......

btw is not a romantic relationship. It's a relative. And I love her...

[Achilles, Ines.]

I think.. I have to be more generous....

I think... It's about schedulle also... Like...dedicating time to her.. appart of the things I want to do with my self.

ye... I think is all about schedulle......

[Achilles, Ines.]

with.. my self....

that looks funny right?...

well okey...

[Onlooker]

You have to try to help her stand on her own two feet. Having somebody needy is extremely difficult and it's easy to throw in the towel and stop being around them, but you are noble enough to understand & want to support this person. The more she relies on you (and others) the more she will need other people all the time, and she will eventually freeze when nobody's there for her. I'd try to encourage her confidence by getting her to set tasks, things she'd love to do, and try to help her do it for herself, while being there if she needs you, then gradually back off till she has the courage to do things for herself, by herself

[sshenry]

I agree with onlooker - she needs to learn how to generate and draw on her own energy instead of looking to you. Once she does, I can guess that much of her negativity will disperse.

Namaste

[Lake]

Relatives can be like this sometimes. It's good that you're setting limits or boundaries to self protect, but being more positive about those might help--such as talking about how you'd love to be with her but you've got to do the grocery shopping or go hungry. If she's someone who can't do a lot for herself (older relative? caregiving?), if you can help her develop more friends or outside interests that might help. Take her shopping for a hobby that will fill her time productively, and she may feel more positive about you during the time she's doing that or help her find groups or classes she can join up with. It sounds like she needs more to do and may be clingy or lonely.

[Agaliarept]

Turn her onto yoga or meditation?

[Achilles, Ines.]

Thank you so much you guys....

I appreciate so much your help.

Thanks Onlooker, Shenry and Lake. It makes so much sense what you guys said.... I loved what you said Shenry, that maybe if she has other positive things to do, the negativity will be less and less....

Lake I loved the part that she will feel more positive about me while doing the activity I helped her to found...

Onlooker, that first thing you said... "You have to try to help her stand on her own two feet"... make me smile...

I don't know...=) I appreciate every single word of yours and will be reading this more than twice... and I hope I can help her to find something she loves to do... Thank you so much.....

And Agailarept... turning her into yoga-meditation..... that's a great idea.....I think yoga would be easier for her to start... Thanks for that idea!

.. I hope I can do this well... Thanks you again.

Namaste.

[Achilles, Ines.]

humm and sorry for answer until today, you see I don't come here daily. Hope all of you read this.

[the original watcher]

I guess this can go here because I want to heal a relationship.

I would like to see your opinions, advices, if you will.

I have a person in my life that I love. But I don't like many things from her. Because... I think she depends on me so much... and she wants so much my energy.... that drains me...that I have had to be very restrictive with her. But then i feel so bad because I can't give her the love she needs. Besides...she has always something very shitty to say that annoys me.. But is not her fault. She just have lots of negativity inside... so.. she can't help but dropping it.

I don't know what's my question for you guys...

Is... like...how to .... be better with her.... but still taking care of myself...

Thanks in advance......

btw is not a romantic relationship. It's a relative. And I love her...

first off achilles, you need to exit living in the old paradigm before you can "heal" because you're healing yourself. and since you'er still living in the old paradigm, you also perceive people having negative or positive polarities.
when you live within yourself, your center, you unite the polarities and are free from it all.

[Achilles, Ines.]

first off achilles, you need to exit living in the old paradigm before you can "heal" because you're healing yourself. and since you'er still living in the old paradigm, you also perceive people having negative or positive polarities.
when you live within yourself, your center, you unite the polarities and are free from it all.

aaaayyy rury rury.....

sighs...

"I need to exit living..."...

and where's the exit?....

"the old paradigm..."...

what's the old paradigm rury rue?

"... I need to exit living the old paradigm before I can heal because I'm healing myself.."..

"necesito salir del viejo paradigma antes de curar porque me estoy curando a mi mismo..."...

No te entiendo mano, me entiendes tu a mi? yo hablo espaniol e ingles, tu que hablas?....

O.k, ya.....

I don't understand you man....

"and since you'er still living in the old paradigm, you also perceive people having negative or positive polarities.
when you live within yourself, your center, you unite the polarities and are free from it all".

Nop. Doesn't make sense. And I tried.

thanks though.

... Yes, I'm kinda sarcastic, but tonight I think you are truly trying to help..

.... It's just the way you speak that is....

You sound ungrounded rue. And I'm not trying to ....hurt your feelings or fight or anything seriously.

Actually ... you not only sound ungrounded, is very clear that you are ungrounded... "desarraigado"... And... maybe that's exaclty what you want.. to be less and less grounded......

But... I don't think that's healthy....

I myself I've been ungrounded and tend to be ungrounded....... but.. balance on the chackras.. the same amount of energy in every chackra... if I say it right....and a healthy... how can I say...........?.... like.. the same range/size... I think that's... healthier.

We are multidimensional yes and I understand that perfectly, but... do we have to forget our body while being on earth?...

Now... what's "to live within yourself"? ...

And what's to live ... "with your center" ...or that about "your center" according to you?...

..."you unite polarities and free from it all"...

...maybe this is toooo metaphysical... but tooo meta..... You know "meta" means "mas alla" "farther from", right?... So maybe this is toooo metaphisical and I'm looking for a practical solution of a earthly experience that I have right now.

I don't understand how I can be "free from it" ... "free from this"....... by understanding the unity of the polarities...

If you want to explain more, answer my questions... that would be good.

Thanks.

[the original watcher]

aaaayyy rury rury.....

sighs...

"I need to exit living..."...

and where's the exit?....

"the old paradigm..."...

what's the old paradigm rury rue?

"... I need to exit living the old paradigm before I can heal because I'm healing myself.."..

"necesito salir del viejo paradigma antes de curar porque me estoy curando a mi mismo..."...

No te entiendo mano, me entiendes tu a mi? yo hablo espaniol e ingles, tu que hablas?....

O.k, ya.....

I don't understand you man....

"and since you'er still living in the old paradigm, you also perceive people having negative or positive polarities.
when you live within yourself, your center, you unite the polarities and are free from it all".

Nop. Doesn't make sense. And I tried.

thanks though.

... Yes, I'm kinda sarcastic, but tonight I think you are truly trying to help..

.... It's just the way you speak that is....

You sound ungrounded rue. And I'm not trying to ....hurt your feelings or fight or anything seriously.

Actually ... you not only sound ungrounded, is very clear that you are ungrounded... "desarraigado"... And... maybe that's exaclty what you want.. to be less and less grounded......

But... I don't think that's healthy....

I myself I've been ungrounded and tend to be ungrounded....... but.. balance on the chackras.. the same amount of energy in every chackra... if I say it right....and a healthy... how can I say...........?.... like.. the same range/size... I think that's... healthier.

We are multidimensional yes and I understand that perfectly, but... do we have to forget our body while being on earth?...

Now... what's "to live within yourself"? ...

And what's to live ... "with your center" ...or that about "your center" according to you?...

..."you unite polarities and free from it all"...

...maybe this is toooo metaphysical... but tooo meta..... You know "meta" means "mas alla" "farther from", right?... So maybe this is toooo metaphisical and I'm looking for a practical solution of a earthly experience that I have right now.

I don't understand how I can be "free from it" ... "free from this"....... by understanding the unity of the polarities...

If you want to explain more, answer my questions... that would be good.

Thanks.

actually you show me that you dont really adhere to truth that well.
just by those words, and the way i type? awee...what.? what? is it different? not all sugar coated for ya? cant do that for ya bub.

okay ill tell you simply this bro. when you are centered within yourself, your heart. both polarities are united as one polarity, neither positive or negative, it just is what it is. and by being centered within your own heart, you are thus free from it all, for your bliss, your freedom to experience you, relies not on the outside world, but on whats within you. thats where your freedom is.

you know i did do a thread dedicated to all this stuff...
apparently no one fuckin read it. lol
shame.
im not typing that shit again , fuck that.

oh and ps im very grounded , just so you know.

[Achilles, Ines.]

rue... do you live in the new paradigm?

[the original watcher]

i was born in the 5th dimension. and was naturally drawn and conscious within the higher dimensions as well.

[Achilles, Ines.]

can you say "yes" or "no" ?

please......

[the original watcher]

to what?

ask again.

[Achilles, Ines.]

do you live in the new paradigm?

[the original watcher]

yeah, i already answered your question.
pay attention and you might just learn some.

[Achilles, Ines.]

O.K. rue... I was trying to be kind with you, to listen and converse with you, but well.. "whateva"... maybe later I'll talk with you again. Maybe...

[the original watcher]

hey man those feelings belong you.