The Demon of Addiction...Why

[lillies1978]

yep yep....good old addictions, most often when i battle one i end up replacing it with another...lol...some are more healthy than others but addictions nevertheless


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makes much sense what you say about early childhood, i think it's hard to rewire cause we are not fully aware of the causes, it's been so long ago...i can hardly remember some of the stuff that happened...

<<<hugz>>>


i love masssive attack too

[Dannii]

you've said it beautifully.....i couldnt have explained the demon/dragon better myself....thank you for your words...its comforting to know someone knows him....as well as i.....(if u ever want to talk hit me up on PM i have almost all the messengers as well)....much love girl

Thanks Same to you.

....well for a very long time i did the hard stuff....for about 5-6 years i was sticking a needle in my arm on and off with the heroin.....im too tired to do that anymore....and i dont want to be a zombie..i want to be alive, truly,.....i dont know how some people can go on and on with that shit for years.....

im just so tired of "chasing the dragon"....i can feel it....i dont have it in me...the run.

and i am very grateful for the tiredness of that....its a good tired....

And this is spot on too. I was a zombie for so long. All that time wasted. Not to mention the danger i'd put myself in to score. I'd walk miles to the dodgiest places and all i was worried about is if i got robbed i'd have no gear money lol. I scare myself thinking about it sometimes. Its good to be alive! My friend Pete wrote a song about the waking up which really helped me get through it. And im pleased that now, i cant really think of anything worse than going back there. Its almost like it wasnt really me, it was someone else.

[darksearch]

xxx

[Satisfiction]

It's from their most recent album "100th Window"... serious genius, right there!

[Tear_of_the_WoLF]

cool song Dannii

..... what up dark

[lilwing1979]

So I've been here a minute and have had a chance to read a lot of your posts. And I feel ya....

I have been going over this question myself. I am also a lover of alcohol and other "party favors". Alcohol is probably my main addicition. I get off work= drink. Weekends=drink. Family functions=drink. IS=drink (just kidding on that one)
I love to drink.

Why? Makes me happy, but I guess I also use it as a social thing.

What are addictions? Are they only addicitons when they're bad.

I am tired of feeling bad for drinking or partying or whatever.

Truthfully I am all over the place. I want to say yea addictions are bad, blah blah blah, but the truth is I enjoy them. And I'm not ready to slow down yet.

But then I sober up for a couple days, think wow I feel good, haven't had a drink for a min and do some yoga, work out, feeling fit and healthy. Think man I need to get my shit together......

Here comes the weekend I'm back on the party train.

"....got me stuck on repeat and I just can't seem to break free, got me stuck on repeat I can only move to the beat" -Little Boots

(deep down I know only I can heal me and move past this.... when I'm ready)

Please feel free to PM me anytime and maybe we can help each other

[Tear_of_the_WoLF]

wow lilwing....very awsome very deep.....thank u for sharing....i know exactly what you are saying...i dont want to feel bad about it....

and yes....as SOON as i get off work...the bar is 50 feet away, so of course thats my beeline....i love it .....its makes me feel so much better....relaxed and i LOVE soicalability aspect of alcohol.....i love life when im sharing it with others....maybe its bad cause im intoxicated ....but i love it....yes i will PM you

[lilwing1979]

wow lilwing....very awsome very deep.....thank u for sharing....i know exactly what you are saying...i dont want to feel bad about it....

and yes....as SOON as i get off work...the bar is 50 feet away, so of course thats my beeline....i love it .....its makes me feel so much better....relaxed and i LOVE soicalability aspect of alcohol.....i love life when im sharing it with others....maybe its bad cause im intoxicated ....but i love it....yes i will PM you

cool cool i'll be looking for it....

Life sometimes is more interesting when you're intoxicated. Why? Maybe cuz when you drink and smoke things seem a little less intense. And that's a good thing when you're not trying to feel anything.

I too luv life when I'm sharing it with others. Sometimes when I'm alone I can't wait to leave and go be with people (pref. at a bar) but when I'm with someone I am happy just staying home.

I wonder if it's the attention I need or rather I need to pay attention to something else other than me, ya know? Because when I'm with someone I focus my attention on them but when I'm alone I focus attention on me. Then I'm bored.... on to the next.....

The thing is I have other things I SHOULD be focusing my attention on work, school, house chores, and of course my awesome dog. But seriously I would rather go out with my friends and hangout.

Thanks for this post I really needed it. I hope you find what your looking for in this thread, I know has me

[Tear_of_the_WoLF]

cool cool i'll be looking for it....

Life sometimes is more interesting when you're intoxicated. Why? Maybe cuz when you drink and smoke things seem a little less intense. And that's a good thing when you're not trying to feel anything.

I too luv life when I'm sharing it with others. Sometimes when I'm alone I can't wait to leave and go be with people (pref. at a bar) but when I'm with someone I am happy just staying home.

I wonder if it's the attention I need or rather I need to pay attention to something else other than me, ya know? Because when I'm with someone I focus my attention on them but when I'm alone I focus attention on me. Then I'm bored.... on to the next.....

The thing is I have other things I SHOULD be focusing my attention on work, school, house chores, and of course my awesome dog. But seriously I would rather go out with my friends and hangout.

Thanks for this post I really needed it. I hope you find what your looking for in this thread, I know has me

i def just PMed you....

wow...everything above is exactly to the tea how i feel....i have way more things i need to be doing yet....i love the bar.....and i just love indulgence...

and for some reason sometimes i just want to go out and not be with whoever the person is im in a relationship with...and its not like im going out to get laid or find another....i just like....friends.....just hangin out without worrying about someone dying for my attention.....

i love letting loose and just.....being.....me......i smile ...and that is a beautiful thing....

neways hope to talk to u soon

much love,
Kaitlin
Wolf

[lilwing1979]

i love letting loose and just.....being.....me......i smile ...and that is a beautiful thing....

Wolf

YouTube - Sheryl Crow - If It Makes You Happy

"if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. If it makes you happy,why the hell are you so sad"

[Tear_of_the_WoLF]

dude. i sing that song all the time at karaoke LOL...i love it so god damn much...u should hear me.....i rock it...i have to hold the microphone away from my house....

i am a trained opera singer although havent done it in some time....but i love to sing....always have....graduated 2002 best vocalist...not talkin myself up or anything, im just honestly proud of that