It's always there. I need to know how to deal with it once and for all. I've been in and out of therapy all my adult life and I always come away from it feeling "Well, that was useless."
I'm tired of being angry. Does anyone else deal with anger?? Any thoughts??
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"I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance". - Socrates
I have Always Been a Storm - Stevie Nicks
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For me I found that it takes immersing myself in the anger first of all, i.e. letting myself feel the anger and who and what it is against. That part is important, even if it is anger against oneself. You can do this by using a voice actuated recorder or writing your un-censored feelings down (or typing them) or just speaking out aloud (to yourself or an invisible someone else) when you're by yourself. Also, identifying and facing your fears is important.
Many therapists will tell you to let go of the past (or to identify the source of your anger and then forget that source), and that in the here and now there's nothing that bad enough personally in your own life which should make you angry and stay angry. They will tell you if you do get angry, to take some deep breaths, or go for a walk, and think calm thoughts like “everything is okay” or “I’m okay”.
Some people say to punch a pillow or something like that, or shout or throw dishes or what have you, in order to physically vent or release the e-motion stored in your muscles, which can help as a supplement to other techniques.
I say that there is destructive anger and constructive anger. Some people say it is wrong to be angry which can make us even angrier. I often feel angry at the wanton damage to our Earth and the blindness of some people to respecting and sharing and care-taking our home and Life here, resulting in the appalling situation of children and people living in poverty, and people and animals suffering horrific things needlessly.
I have got to the stage (after immersing myself in my emotions during my dreams) that whenever I feel really angry in 3-D, I take some deep breaths and I totally chill out. I don’t say to myself “be calm” or “I’m okay”. I switch off my 3-D self and I empty my mind of everything, and wait for thoughts about constructive actions or solutions that I can take relevant to the issue that I am angry about.
My intent is to think that - there's a situation that I don't like, so what am I going to do about it? I am not going to be the victim of my own anger, i.e. let my anger be destructive by way of trashing the house or kicking the cat or screaming abuse at someone or myself, so I suspend my e-motion and trust myself fully to come up with the answers.
Emotions are the physical expression of feelings, and feelings are types of energetic (chemical) reactions, which function as barometeres or measures of the degree or extent of one of four basic human reactions, being happy, sad, angry and scared. See the page below please for a Table showing the sub-feelings of the fundamental types.
http://www.peaceinpractice.iinet.net.au/feelings.html
I used to be mildly angry with my adoptive brothers whom messed with several of the younger ones in the family, including me, I used to get angry with people who racially taunted me (including one whom said he wanted to put my head in a vice and crush it), I got angry with my "lot in Life" thinking "woe is me, look where I am compared to where I could have been if people had not messed with me", and I got angry with myself for not being in better control of my own life.
I really do believe that to overcome “anger”, one has to have the pure intent to want to subdue it or make it manageable to live with, and that one has to truly and fully face the source of their anger as I described first in this post, with no half-measures or feeble attempts, and follow that up with affirming one’s own worth and needs, and creating one’s own solutions or actions to achieve this.
Constructive anger or what I call righteous anger can include being angry with your uncle whom wrongly interfered with you when you were a child, but firstly, face that anger, put a name and a situation and a result to it. Draw your feelings or write a story or a poem or build a sculpture about it, if you must. After that, honour yourself with a ceremony like handing yourself the key to your new life, or putting into writing or some visible form your thoughts that you are a great person whom wants a happy, comfortable life, etc. Also, face your fears, remembering that F.E.A.R. is “false evidence appearing real.”
The Divine does not give you more than what you can deal with, so change thoughts like “people will laugh at me if I try to xxx” into positive life-affirming thoughts such as “I’m quite a good person at coming up with solutions/ideas for xxxx. I’m sure that I can and will help.” You get the idea.
Thirdly, write up your goals of what steps, techniques, strategies, actions and support you want to attain, regarding making your life more happy and comfortable. Fourthly or concurrently, surrender your anger and let it disappear, perhaps in your mind’s eye “in a puff of smoke”. You must be sincere about this part and not cling onto your anger through habit or because it is easy or convenient to do so.
Fifthly, when you are advanced enough to do so, forgive those who have angered you.
Also, know that resentment or grudges against others is a feeling of anger that others have it easy or have what you don’t have, and that your own life has been crap or missing something, thanks not to yourself, but to crappy others, and nobody really cares about you, so they can all go to hell.
Resentment, jealousy, disgust and annoyance are types of anger, which if you don’t find a peaceful and constructive solution for, will just weigh you down, and if you let them build up, will actually grow and fester or rot in your “brain”, turning you into a person whom is tense and suspicious or dis-trustful of others, or into a person whom is (metaphorically speaking) a half-cocked or fully cocked loaded pistol suspended in the dark, ready to fire at anyone/anything that “presses your buttons” enough (excuse the mixed metaphor).
Either way, if you bottle up these e-motions then one day you will explode, and hopefully also one day you will realise that you have been living your life more like a ghost because you let the anger gremlins get you down and you didn’t do anything to get them off you and live the Life you want.
Even more hopefully, you will never get to the stage of having your mounting anger firing off somewhere, but you will right now and here realise that with the level of anger that you have, that you have been living your life more like a ghost than a real person, and that it is you who can knock the anger on the head, and join the realm of the anger ghost-busters! Haha.
I was a ghost for about 25 years haunting other places and times which I felt owed me something, but my 3-D self, as well as my Higher Self and Guides, through my dreams and meditations, helped me to face my fears and the sources of my anger, to heal myself to start living the Life that I want.
Pace e Bene (peace and all good)
Celine
Last edited by Star Wise; 07-12-2007 at 03:08 AM.
The Teacher and the Taught together Create the Teaching
yes,i think anger is needed,but in moderation.
u learn how to manipulate anger for ur greater good,and not let the anger manipulate u.
i also had a lot of anger growing up,but i never really show it..and i think that's worst,coz it does eats u alive.anger came for me coz i wasnt surrendering to life's event,not just let life run me over but just taking it all in wat has happened in life.
Star Wise has wrote it beautifully and i really can resonate to wat she said..for me it was forgive but not forget..a lot of things that happens in life that im not "surrendered" to,will haunt me back in a form of anger.so its better to accept n keep a picture of it,put it in a safe box..u can visit any time u want..
meditation for me is a way to keep track of my anger..keep track coz i dont want to get rid of it without getting any essential information on which i can benefit in a way.also,i learn to pour all the anger into writing..it helps.
and one thing,crying isnt a form of weakness..its a form of surrendering.when u cry,u cry for that particular moment..ur surrendering to that event.
peace n light,
Ethan
Sometimes life kicks you in the nuts,best thing I learnt so far is to scream BLOODY HELL as loud as I can,readjust the jock strap,and walk on.
But tomorrow may rain,so I'll follow the sun
Wow - just wow. Thank you both so much.
"I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance". - Socrates
I have Always Been a Storm - Stevie Nicks
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Best advice I have is to sigh...a lot.
That probly won't work if the anger is deep rooted.
sdfgm dtshyndsx
Last edited by Indiglow; 07-22-2007 at 02:58 PM.
I went through the anger stage...yelling and screaming worked well:P along with creative expression...for me it was through song writting for you it could be writting, art, singing etc. Get in touch with your inner child...if your inner child is scared reassure him or her etc. Use white sage to clear out negativity in your home and around your aura. Use crystals like black tourmaline and leapord skin jasper for getting rid of anger, hematite for grounding and blue calcite for calming. Try vibrational flower essences and affirmations that suit your needs etc
p.s I just channeled some advice from your angels and they said to voice your feelings more effectively...(out loud), to write them down on paper to screw it up and then throw it away in the fire (apparently this is cleansing for you) They also say to sing...this must help you in someway.
Thats all I can think of at the momment!. Goodluck...you will get through it
Alana
Alana - it's almost 9pm central time US here and I just got this message from you. I must tell you what I did this afternoon I was feeling horrible all day. Something told me to just talk to my guides and God outloud. So I did. I poured my heart out - outloud. It felt wonderful. And then I felt the urge to sing - so I did and it felt wonderful. I feel so much better now. And a few days ago I told my husband I was going to write letters to the people I feel hurt by and I am going to burn them on the next full moon.Originally Posted by Ocean_Waves19161
Thank you for your words.
"I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance". - Socrates
I have Always Been a Storm - Stevie Nicks
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Yes, I think it is not a matter of forgetting and forgiving, but accepting and surrendering or releasing the source of the anger to the Divine/Cosmos or to your Higher Self, objectively remembering what happened if you do remember it (but don't dwell upon it, and know that the passage of time does sometimes erase the forcefulness of the memories), and if you can, forgiving the source of the anger.
I was abused by three brothers when I was eleven years old and I held myself guilty for an incident in which I went back to our house with a sibling to get something, and one of them was waiting there, and grabbed my sibling while I was waiting outdoors. I used to feel resentment against these brothers, and think that I should get compensation or an apology, but never have from any of them.
However, through my dreams, writing, and talking out loud and to my Guides, I purged my feelings about their wrong-doings. I have not forgotten what happened or what effect it had on me, i.e. carrying a huge burden of guilt for 25 years and not looking after my own self properly or getting into good relationships, because of being frightened and dis-trustful of myself, and wary of relationships. However, I have forgiven.
Forgiveness is the most misunderstood word in the human language. Forgiveness is the releasing of negative feelings generated in you by someone else. Forgiveness is not the excusing or approval or forgetting of harmful acts, or turning a blind eye etc. to someone’s transgressions and allowing yourself or others to be abused.
Forgiveness is the relinquishing of negative feelings and emotions through a willingness to perceive everyone, including oneself, as either expressing love or feeling a need for more love (esteem and kindliness).
To forgive someone whom (acting out of a need for more love) hurt you physically, psychologically or emotionally, means to give up or surrender / release / dissolve your hurt or wounded feelings or your feelings arising from a grievance being doing against you by that person. You cleanse yourself of the feeling of being aggrieved. That doesn’t mean the grievance did not happen, but you release the emotional stranglehold of the wrong.
Releasing the power or control of a transgression against you can be akin to saying the mis-deed never happened, or that its effects / results never happened, but it is NOT saying that.
It is an expression of re-claiming your own power, of turning a lemon into a lemonade, and effectively announcing or declaring “ I wasn’t able to stop that person from acting badly toward me in the past, but I certainly can do something about the consequences for myself personally, here and now, and in healing myself I will be able to better help others”.
Forgiveness is a deep process from a sense of placement and connection as one person in a network of souls, where you understand that no one person, including you, is perfect, and that even if you were hurt or aggrieved in reality, you have got the power to choose to make the best of things, or to take action to remove or wash away those hurts and 3-D consequences of transgressions against you.
Forgiveness is:
“perceiving or understanding that everyone, including oneself, is basically in a state of either expressing love, or feeling a need for more love (i.e. esteem, support and kindliness); and understanding that if our responses and actions are based upon such, it will help us not to experience negative feelings or feelings of hurt in ourselves, or if they are felt, will help us to release them.”
Forgiveness is rare because it requires overcoming anger, and it is difficult to hold and honour the perception of forgiveness, particularly if one’s basic needs are not being met, or if the extent of the consequences of a mis-deed or transgression is seen to be large or “un-forgive-able”. Remember that to forgive is not to approve of a mis-demeanour or let it be repeated, but is to release the hold that a transgression has over you, while pursuing justice via the legal human system, if you want to and can.
When you for-give, you will feel a peace in the sense that you know that you never were a “victim” (one who is harmed by, or made to suffer from an act or circumstance or condition via a person or persons) in the first place, because there are swings and roundabouts in Life throughout all of Eternity, and each one of us has the power or ability to choose whether we let ourselves be dragged around by others, while kicking ourselves or others in anger and protest, and hurling abuse against in-justices; or let ourselves rise above our trials and challenges as the creators and masters of our own feelings and thus, eventually, of our "fortunes".
Namaste
Celine
Last edited by Star Wise; 07-13-2007 at 02:19 AM.
The Teacher and the Taught together Create the Teaching
thank you for these wise words Celine, timely and apt I believe forgiveness is indeed necessary for growth. Without it we remain cemented in a state of pain and fear.
namaste
Patryc
"There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all." - Anonymous
The Infinite Strength of Spirit empowers the Will to embrace the Beauty of Change - Patryc
"If I distrust the human being, then I must cram her with information of my own choosing lest she go her own mistake way. But if I trust the capacity of the human individual for developing, then I can provide her with many opportunities and permit her to choose her own way and her own directions in learning." - Rogers & Freiberg, 1994, p. 160
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For me,Laying on the ground helps.It's called grounding.Also standing next to or sitting at the base of a tree helps.That's just me though.Hope this helps you at least a little.
Awesome reccomendations here.... I hope that you feel that some "uncandid" and unsubstantiated advice by someone with a doctorite (in anything) will agree with you and your soul more that walking away "feeling it useless"
I've felt the same, with my anxiety, insomnia, and labels from psychiatrits of ADD/ADHD. While yes this is recognizable within people I do not feel it is a disease, meerly evolution because it is a fraction not majority. This will flip flop soon enough.
I get angry-- I get angry a LOT. I feel alot of "Indigos" do, and it's because we are so sensitive to other areas of pressure, be it other's energy, our own higher selves pushing our physical bodies on our mission, or our own '3D' minds constructing hurdles to overcome.
The vibration of anger is quick and sucks people in. I don't remember who posted, but they are right, there is a CONstructive and DEstructive way of expressing this energy. Best method for me has even been to scream at the top of my lungs; "AHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED MORE PATIENCE I NEED HELP"
Within a minute I will feel calmer, and may still be irritated (and this is a sign for me that whatever pushed me to that edge is very valid and something I must point my attention towards), I am able to breathe, and ask for help in understanding whatever has crossed my path.
So let it be! If you feel the need to scream an obsinity along with a request -- do so! There's been a few times where I've gotten out of my car after hanging out (baby sitting) my nephew, Trae, left him in, and went to the side walk (no one around, thank god, lol!) and have screamed: "F**K! I REALLY NEED SOME MORE PATIENCE NOW--PLEASE!"
Trae always seems to calm down himself when he see's me like this, and after releasing that energy verbally and maybe stomping on the ground a bit and asking mother nature to neutralize my energy, I feel better.
So write it, speak it, even scream from the mountaintops. We wouldn't harbor the energy and hold on to it if others recognized more that we were in need of SOMEONE acknowledging our discomfort. Wether it be emotionally, spiritually, physically, anything ----- work, relationship, friend wise.... It keeps on until someone is aware.
Thank you for sharing your anger here, I hope it helps.
--xx--
Last edited by hrishi; 01-10-2008 at 06:10 AM. Reason: edit
I'm with Indiglow...what makes you angry and why have you been lugging it around for so long? If you have been in and out of therapy all your life, then you aren't taking any of the therapists recommendations. You are probably entering the office for the 20th time with a negative attitude and soon shut out everything. Go with a positive attitude and LISTEN! I guess I am a bit puzzled becuz I work in a job where a lot of the employees are always angered for some reason or another. When I hear them talk I can see that many don't know how to channel their anger into constructive things. Their conversations are always negative, always gossiping about others and for me it's too mcuh to bear so I eat lunch alone and try and have as little contact with them as possible and if I have to have contact with them, I stick to business, get my answers and get the hell away. They suck the energy out of me. I find time alone to pray/meditate and ask the almighty for peace of mind. Do you display this anger with your family and what are their reactions? Do you have close friends and what are their reactions?
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