I need help with something personnal (relationship)

[TXindigo]

I am in love with 2 men.

I am married to a wonderful man (15 years) who I would not hurt for the world - but I also love deeply a man I have been friends with for 11 years.

I married my husband because he made me feel safe and he is kind and loving and I loved him. I never thought I could feel that kind of love for another man - but I do and these feelings for another man are not going away.

I'm going to call the other man Kevin.

Kevin and I met at a conference 11 years ago. My husband and I walked into the lobby of the hotel we were at and there was Kevin sitting on a couch directly in front of us. Our eyes met, my knees buckled and I could not breath. All I can remember hearing in my head was "It's him - it's him - where have you been!!!!"

He had this look on his face like he was just as startled to see me. We were introduced and we could not stop staring at each other. Over the years we stayed in touch on the internet - and our friendship grew very deep. I knew I loved him the minute I laid eyes on him.

Over the years we found it funny that we always seemed to know what the other was thinking and we would also go through the same emotional stuff at the same time. We were so connected that if one of us was online and needed to chat we just had to wait a few minutes for the other one to show up so we could talk.

we lived in different states and for 8 years the only contact we had was online. One summer hubby and I went for vacation close to where he lived. We went to see him and the minute I laid eyes on him again - it was the same feeling as the first time - only this time I just wanted to run to him and hold him and feel his energy. I didn't.

During that vacation our friendship became sexual. We never had intercourse but we couldn't stay away from each other either. I was completely honest with hubby - and he understood.

Our friendship has progressed to deep love but Kevin is also married to a very jealous woman - so we don't see each other much or talk as much as we did. I know he loves me and I don't know much about my life but I do know he and I are connected on a very deep level.

But it is very hard not to have all that I want from this man. I get confused and depressed about all this. I have been told by 2 seperate psychics that he and I have been together for many many lifetimes. Why am I not with him this time around?? When we put distance between each other because it gets to be too much - it's physically painful.

I love my husband and he knows all about this. He says he believes Kevin and I are suppose to be in each others lives and he is OK with it - and I believe him.

I believe Kevin is my twin soul. I was hoping someone here might have gone through this and could offer me words of encouragement. I keep asking my Angels - is this the way it's suppose to be or will Kevin and I ever be together. But I'm not getting any answers.

Thanks.

[Thomas12]

My thoughts:

- Your husband is great to tolerate your relationship with Kevin
- Do you feel unfinished karma of some sort?
- If you had realtionships with Kevin in other lifes, it would be clear you will feel love for each other, but it might not be meant to be a real relationship
- Who is the one you most learn from?, its probably your husband. To be so tolerant is really grand
- To my belief it is possible to love many persons at same time, Ive done so all my life, but I am a single (I am an exception of my own, please explain to me why, thanx)
- If you dont have to decide between the two, why should you?
- OK, this gets weird. Maybe your husband likes Kevin too?

Hope my thoughts are not too much, but since you brought the topic up and I found it very interesting I thouht I give some comments.

All the best to you.

[ethtardo]

salute for the hubby...

mmm..if ur meant to be together,no matter when the time,u will be together.maybe not in this lifetime,at times u just have to wait.i know thats not gonna set ur mind at ease,but again,at times waiting is the road to an answer.

ive waited for my twin soul,and along the way i have guessed a few woman of being "the" twin soul.but just like u said,u recognise it just in the most natural way.and currently,im with a wonderful woman,who i feel ive known all my living existance.believe me,it wasnt easy to be with her (we just sorta bumped into eachother) and to finally get my courage together to be with her.then after having it all received by her,the road hasnt really been easy for the both of us.but we've always managed to be together,and its really the most natural thing.patience and the hurts was,i can say,been worth it.

advice for u?..mmm..just be patient really..if its not meant to happen in this lifetime and if he is ur twin soul,ull be together one day.for the time being,cherish the man ur with at this moment,i think he loves u a whole lot to still be with u and understanding the situation.

cant always get wat u want..but everything happens for a reason,tho it hurts.for me,the hurts n the wait was a very painful learning process,but in the end..true love saves the day.saves the world.saves the soul,all in true time.

with love,
Ethan

[TXindigo]

My thoughts:

- Your husband is great to tolerate your relationship with Kevin

He doesn't tolerate it - he understands it and likes Kevin very much. I am lucky to be married to a man who understands that love is fluid and should not be strangled. He also understands that when we married we did not cease to be individuals. We both do not try to own each other.

- Do you feel unfinished karma of some sort?

I feel like Kevin and I have something to do together and that we do not have a choice about loving each other, it's always been this way and it always will be.

- If you had realtionships with Kevin in other lifes, it would be clear you will feel love for each other, but it might not be meant to be a real relationship

Yes, and that's the sad part.

- Who is the one you most learn from?, its probably your husband. To be so tolerant is really grand

I think you are right. But I learn from both too.

- To my belief it is possible to love many persons at same time, Ive done so all my life, but I am a single (I am an exception of my own, please explain to me why, thanx)

Yes I agree -but society makes it so hard when it is so natural.

- If you dont have to decide between the two, why should you?

You are right.

- OK, this gets weird. Maybe your husband likes Kevin too?

Yes he does but not sexually. He thinks of Kevin as a good friend.


Thank you.