When I meditate, sometimes I get visions and other messages. Not too long ago I saw the word Knit. So I decided to take up knitting. OMG I freakin' love it! Yesterday I was knitting and totally fell in love with it. Instead of my soul screaming at me, it became silent and radiated a strong sense of love, joy and a growing passion. It felt so wonderful to create something with my hands. Never would've thought something as simple as knitting could feel so good. So now I'm pursuing other interests with more gusto. The passion I felt is like a drug, very addicted and I'm liking that too. I also discovered, among other things, that I'm actually more passionate than I originally thought.
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What was also nice is that knitting put me in a great mood. I actually felt great. I can't recall the last time I felt like that. I feel like I want to spend all my time doing what I love. But I find myself wondering where I'm going to find the time. I also realized that this deep desire to create and the passion I felt is actually something powerful and in its own way, primal and ancient. Such a beautiful thing.
Another useful thing about doing my purpose is that I felt satisfied in the end. Sometimes I get urges to shop and sometimes that urge comes from boredom or my desire to fill what feels like a hole inside. That hole comes from a lack of purpose. Shopping helps but only for a little while. But this is different, it's much more lasting and the desire to live passionately pulls me back and I feel like it's all I want to do with my time. And speaking of time, it just seems to fly by when I'm engaged in something I love. Weird.