Adult Indigos - What was growing up like for you?

[sshenry]

As an adult indigo (born before 1980) I had a rather challenging childhood. Not only did I lack a peer group, but I had the distinct 'pleasure' of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family and sent through twelve years of parochial schools. To break with the religious traditions held by four generations of my family was the hardest thing I have ever done but also - after passing through several stages including denial, depression and despair-I realized who and what I was at last, and it was the most liberating experience of my life.

I would love to hear from other adult indigos regarding their childhood or from younger indigos who are faced with the same sorts of difficulties.

S.S. Henry
"You were once wild here. Don't let them tame you." ~Isadora Duncan

[Thomas12]

My family is pretty unreligious and each one is holding different philosophicsl believes. My parents think I am esoteric which hardly grabs how I feel myself totally...

[sshenry]

How do you see yourself? How would you define yourself, your view of life etc? And how does that affect your family?

[Thomas12]

Isadora Duncan was killed by her long scarf which got caught by one of the wheels of her luxury car, what a death.....

[Thomas12]

I see myself in a drawer of myself, not even indigo only. I see myslef a bit like an alien - well starseed, someone who has the experience of many many lifetime on this fascinating planet which brought the hardest experieces and I see a lot of learning and developement as well as boredome by all drama scenarios. I am here with a mission to change the reality of perception to humanity, I am a running healing program and feel sickness on earth...and a lot of work to do. I feel deeply connected to the misery of this planet.

[sshenry]

Ah - but what she did before she went! She dropped out of school because it restricted her individuality (a true pioneer!). She danced all over Europe. She married a man 18 years younger than herself. Never a dull moment - even her death was momenteous.

[Thomas12]

Yes indeed, I can be seen as quite boring compared, I liked school in fact, I never wore long scarf and I dont have a 18 y. younger male lover. Please percieve me as a nice comformer who had wished to be normal..

[Fragments]

Well, I just turned 17 but I guess I can share what I've experienced up till recently.

I remember as a baby looking in the mirror at myself and feeling upset with the limitations of my physical body. My mom said I was always very aware and intuned with my body, almost even uncomfortable in it.

My childhood up to the age of 10 was pleagued with extreme neurological sensitivity and allergies. I never fit in with any of the other kids. I looked out the window and daydreamed instead of focusing on learning to add and subtract. The teachers loved me, for some reason, despite my rebeliousness.

I never liked church. I asked my ultra-religious fundamental Christian father many questions he could not answer. I became the most rebelious kid in my school, drawing on desks, not doing work, all that sort of stuff.

By 14 I put the pieces together and realized I needed to work with the school system. I taught myself how to write coherently(since I had missed that before), and became obsessed with spirituality. I guess other kids turn to drugs and things like that to get by the pain of adolescance...I turned to the bliss of meditation and so on.

Overall, I think my problems have been mainly in the realm of nutritional deficiencies and health problems, since my body is wired in a completly different way.

[Hon_y_b]

I was a REBEL Rouser in school...just couldn't get along with the rich snobby kids that attended the same Christian school I did. They were the kids that lived on campus becuz their parents couldn't handle them so they came to this school and it was apparent that the parents had money. they were direspectful and here I come from our little rural town, poor in a sense and raised to respect my Spanish culture. I was called Wet Back, dirty Mexican and every racial slur that is still used today. I was not allowed to speak in Spanish and if caught we were paddled. Talk about ignorance, thing is I was born on this side of the Rio Grande..Ha Ha Ha! Still it was a painful childhood mixed with abuse from one parent-mom. I walked to school everyday, and put up with crap from all ends. I was raised Methodist and the teachings of the church didn't jive with how I felt inside. I always felt as a kid that I was placed on this planet to be punished for some reason. I never felt happy at birthdays, church gatherings, school functions and at home. the tough lessons in life, toughened me up as a person. I learned to mistrust and actually hate. I left home to attend college at 19 against the wishes of an overbearing mother. I roughed it out, toughened up as a woman, earned my degree and today thru all my trials and tribulations I am a much better human being.

[sshenry]

Hon_y_b

Do you think that the rough spots in your childhood helped prepare you for the realization of your real nature? How would the person you are today be different if you'd had parents who supported you?

[Hon_y_b]

sshenry,
I sure felt all alone when I was a kid with all that was going on and I also knew within my heart that I would survive all the chaos..I just knew. There was a point in my life that I became vey interested in reading books on the paranormal, psychic phenomenon and I went as far as seeking spiritual guidance not with a minister but with Spritualists. Had I not had that urging to search for answers and talk to people with like minds..I would probably be a big drug addict or better yet dead by now. I have always been very strong willed and self sufficient....for a reason I know and that is what makes me keep going. I look at my life as a long and painful journey but I never quit moving on and that is how it has been. Now had I had emotional support, I'b be a WARRIOR WOMAN today. All I needed in my life was emotional support and acknowlegement. That in itself would have been the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me. I know that I have much more work on this earth and I continue to search for my real mission in life. Going thru the motions in life, just exitisting, paying the bills and holding down a job is becoming a bit boring. So, the search goes on and I am sure I will find the answers!

[sshenry]

Thank you for that!

I find it fascinating that being strong willed and self-sufficient (what my grandmother called being cold and selfish) was the bane of my existence as a child (I was prayed over for my 'stony heart' more times than I can count) and yet it has become a fundamental part of my existence - my rock if you will - as an adult. And I wonder and am amazed at the tenacity of the younger generation of indigos who achieve this rock of stability so early in their development.

I am, you see, in an interesting situation...I am an adult indigo with not just one but TWO indigo children. Rare, from what I've heard. In fact, my youngest daughter - who is just turning eleven - boarders on crystal with her extreme sensitivity and all-inclusiveness for EVERYONE. My husband doesn't believe in the whole 'indigo' concept, but accepts their uniqueness and encourages their independence.

So keep me in your thoughts...

[sshenry]

To Fragments: to have come to those conclusions by the age of 14! Bravo! You younger indigos never cease to amaze me. My daughter is the same way (she'll be sixteen in October). Things I had to struggle with and issues I've had to work through she has 'known' and avoided automatically. Of course, it probably helps that she has supportive parents.

[Fragments]

Of course, it probably helps that she has supportive parents.

Of course.

I think it is overall intuition and seeing the bigger picture. Also the ability to put ourselves in others' shoes. In a way I learn from others mistakes, without needing to make the same mistakes on my own. Then again though, there really are no mistakes, only opportunities for growth...

[blueangel0012]

I have almost no memory of my childhood until I reached 12.

[Patryc]

I have almost no memory of my childhood until I reached 12.

did you have a near death incident at 12 ?

[sshenry]

I have a friend who is the same way. He remembers bits of things from before he was twelve, but it is almost as if he is qoting what someone else has told him. I ask him for specifics and he goes blank. He says that all he remembers.

Without letting my psych degree get in the way, let me say that there are any number of circumstances that can account for lost memories - including the near death experience, verbal or physical abuse, witnessing a traumatic event etc. etc. And then, sometimes, the human mind simply resets itself for no understandable reason.

Of course, I could lighten the situation and remind you of the character of Peter Banning in HOOK, who remembers nothing from before he was twelve - perhaps you were one of the lost boys (or girls!)

[doodleman]

I have recently started accepting the indigo thing. I am 44 and when I first heard of indigos I was skeptical because I shunned anything that had to do with any belief system and the whole new age thing was just another.
From the time I was about 2 years old I reasonesd like an adult. I have a memory of prunes. I was 2 and I can remember contemplating what kind of fruit they were made of. I already knew more than my parents. My father left when I was 2 and my step father was abusive.
As a child I loved the color purple and when someone told me it represented royalty I knew I was speacial. I still have many vivid memories from my early childhood.
I remember at age 7 looking at my hands and realizing I was independent and that I owned myself. Around the age of 11 I started sensing the presence of "others". My mom had no idea what to do with this so she would just pray for me, yo. So I just suppressed it all. I turned to doing a lot of drugs, especially acid.
I never needed anyone to teach me anything I could just realize how to do things, anything. I also saw church or any belief system as primative. Even Buhhdism and the Tao. I get frustrated when "spiritual" people try to explain spirituality to me. It's like finger nails on a chalk board.

This did not lead me to feel superior to others, quite the opposite actually. I just thought I was crazy. After some intense thearapy I am now begining to have some relief. My therapist looked at me one day and said I must be an indigo that never had any support so I went crazy instead.

I am still a bit skeptical but I am opening up more.
There are so many unusual things about my childhood but it would take quite awhile to write it all down. I have the ability to be conscious of it and everything at the same moment. This at times makes me seem scattered so I have to work at sifting so I can articulate one thing at a time. In person I often talk in many layers at a time and it wears people out. I have learned to just be quiet.

Yo I should stop for now.

everything is everything
doodleman

[sshenry]

You don't sound crazy in the least...one of my earliest memories is of telling my grandmother 'you don't own me!' when she was trying to tell me what I should be doing.

As for parents praying - god, I was subjected to weekly 'prayer' sessions as a teenager, when my mom, gram, pastor and assorted church elders would come and pray over me - my mom was convinced that I was dabbling in the occult or at least involved in a cult of some sort because none of their 'interventions' were working. And I would sit there - and watch them from inside of myself - and feel sorry that they were so concerned and I wished with all my heart that I could reassure them that I WAS OKAY, but I knew they wouldn't believe me.

It nearly killed them when I left the church - and left all organized religion behind. My mom says I've backslidden - but I look at it as stepping beyond.

Good to hear from you!

[Atlantis]

My childhood was very difficult. I was picked on by the other children, and pratically all my years of school up to this point have been lived in suffering. I couldn't make friends, nor connect to ordinary people. I was too shy, and not thick-skinned enough. I was anxious at a lot of things, and my lack of friends added to that. It was nerve-wrecking suffering. I know it had a purpose, I wouldn't be the person I am now without that suffering, but it was hard, and I would never live that ever again.