Need some guidence on life issue?

[astrogrrl777]

I've been seeing number sequences constantly lately. Now I am moving from seeing 1111 and 111 all the time to the number today and last night is 555. Saw it this morning and evening and then my grocery bill was $155.52 (555 in the center).

So by my friend Melissa's calculations on a different forum, a time of change with my soul's permission and not negative or positive, just go with the flow. I asked my angels/masters/guides to tell me why the 5's and I felt a strong presence and it was like, "go look at Melissa's post" so, yes I AM LISTENING TO YOU GUYS AROUND ME!!

It makes a lot of sense because today I had a huge breakthrough with my therapist/spiritual advisor/confidant that doesn't think I am crazy and understands me somewhat.

Because of the strong emotions/indigo/feeling like I never belonged in this stupid world of form, combined with so many traumas, I fell into drugs 3 years back. I just got clean 10 months ago. But didn't even notice I was making my spritiuality a drug and chasing after all this knowledge and "enlightment" as a way to escape my 'psychological past.' I've had the satori "no-mind" state several times and I started to try to get it back but when you try to hold onto it just slips farther away. The sick part is, I like my somewhat dark side and feel like I am healing all this crap over and over and it keeps coming back up like a shadow.....

Suicidal thoughts, for instance, (though I am not gonna do it) they keep showing up like how I felt when I was little when everyone told me how all my feelings were in my imagination and no, you didn't see ghosts, you were dreaming, etc. Now that I totally believe, without a doubt in reincarnation, I figure (how smooth my mind can be) "wow, i could die, and I would just come back as something better or go to another planet, or stay home with my source." I now realize how pointless this game of life truly is, how I have no interest in these worldly things, careers, marriage, kids, etc.... I'm not going anywhere, just telling you what the witness in me sees going on in this mind.

I started screaming while listening to NIN again and visualizing the stupid part of the grid in front of me listening to me scream at them. All this churning inside is clearing things out, I know this, but I feel so intensly sometimes, I start chasing other "drugs" like spiritual ecstacy, buying new books, studying incessantly, etc. without even realizing it. The mind is so slick. All I want is liberation from this dumbass voice in my head, the mind.

Sorry for venting, just had to get that out.

My Saturn is in Pisces, massive change, so here we go. I got my seatbelt on buddy!#@$#%

SO I guess my question is what to do when you just want to move forward and stop going backwards? I really want to heal anything and everything that has ever happened to this body/mind. Anything that comes into my awareness I am willing to work through, I am just very frustrated and feel taken off my path. Overwhelmed. I just want my peace/conciousness back.

Thanks guys, I love you all, Ang


Seeking enlightenment is the most beautiful form of aloneness yet the lonliest thing that cannot be compared to anything else.
I am a future woman in an irressitable world. - Bjork.
Religion is for people who are scared of hell, spirituality is for people who have already been there.- Unknown.
You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. -Mahatma Gandhi

[Brahmin_Acro]

I have been in those situations and I don't believe in jobs society marriage etc. The way I got out of my rut was asking myself,"Ok, I don't like or believe in all of this stuff, so what do I feel is right? What do I believe in?" The answer doesn't have to be some god or even an answer. I find it's better if this question brings up more questions. That is probably why you keep delving into studying and the like, you are searching for your truths, your life's questions. I personally find that answering these questions brings up more questions, and I have grown to love it. I think once your mind stops asking questions, life gets dull and it doesn't feel like living at all, but a waiting period. So I guess what I am saying is try to find solace in your journey/life by making it an adventure of finding truths that resonate with your soul.

The numbers I believe are a way of awakening your DNA and thus opening doors to new experiences. I say you should pay attention to everything that is going on internally and externally when you notice these patterns and synchronicities.

[i_c_nina]

For me I too had have times where I feel I have gone forward and then something like health issues hit me in the face and forces be back a step or two . Forcing me to Revaluate what I 'thought' I understood.

I can relate to you in the fact that I too have been spirits, heard voices, 'odd dreams', A little sensitve to these things. I finaly understood about reincarnation after my brothers death last year and he does try to communicate to me once in a while. And becuase of his death my eyes have opened up to that world and made me excited about my life I have now to explore all that.

I too had have a tough time looking for my 'path'. My purpose. With all the shit I just fell into again this summer (Another set back) Made me Finaly 'SEE" what I didnt 'See' before.

I believe things happen for a reason. There is a lesson we are ment to learn from and if we didnt get the point the first time, the same shit is going to happen again and again untill our eyes are open. Which to me explains why about the 'fall backs'.

It took me 7 years of falling in to hell and out to get where I am now. Content. I love life, I see the beauty in the simple things. I know my purpose and see my 'future'. To find your niche in life, that helps.

Appreciate what you have, and dont fall into the brainwashing ways of TV, that you can only be happy if you have the latest and best material items of crap they fill you with.

Its a liberating feeling to sit back and watch people who are still under the 'cattle' mentality. Running around, doing the 9-5, marrage, morgage, 2.5 kids thing... running lost, I feel free.

Well, thats my 2 cents..

[Patryc]

regarding the numbers check this site :

http://www.nvisible.com/

most of the numbers you see that are repeating are subtle messages regarding your path. Especially the 11.11. This is a key sequence.

for example you had the number 5 repeated heres an extract from the site :

55 = Attaining personal freedom by being free of the past & totally real.

11 = Birthing and anchoring the New.

there's much on that site regarding synchrocities and if you are seeing these key numbers - that's something you should be looking for are they indicate sychronicities.

namaste

Patryc

[astrogrrl777]

Thank you so much brothers and sisters. I realize these are all probably just growing pains. I guess I was just really emotional earlier when I wrote that. I feel a lot better tonight.

I do not watch TV, thank god. So I walked my dog and finally got to see that movie "What the Bleep" with the added scientist stuff. Some of it resonated, some didn't. I love learning and you are right there is a certain thrill in finding new things that hit you deep in your being!@#@$

Thank you so much for letting me get out of myself and I can see I am not the only one who has had these experiences. Feels like I really am around family.

5555!!!!! Breaking free from my PAST!!! Awesome, I am thrilled about that!