Addicted to thinking

[astrogrrl777]

I find myself right now feeling like my life was put on hold. I always know there is a reason for everything. I am on 100% disabillity from the Army, so I can't work. I don't go to school either and I find myself VERY VERY bored. As you can see from above I came off all drugs and toxic substances 10 1/2 months ago so I sorta was reborn then. I started getting my intuition back, mind-reading capabilities, sensing presences, talking to spirits came back to. Now, I find myself very bored. I went on a trip to India in July and when I came back I felt very much emptied out. Like I had fufilled everything I had planned for this lifetime. I still feel, since July, NOW WHAT!!!!

I don't want to go to school and learn a bunch of crap and I don't want to be a slave and work for someone who makes a million off of me. Even more, I feel so disinterested in the outside world it is hilarious. Nothing of the external world interests me AT ALL!!! Everything is like a been there done that attitude from me. But here's the problem. NOW WHAT!!!

I am trying to go past my "indigo characteristics" and become complete conciousness. It's really the only thing that interests me. But, this has created a war inside my head. The ego attacking the I AM presence. I listen to my ego like a witness, but there are all these thoughts saying, "Are you kidding me, you are not like Jesus, HE IS SPECIAL, like ECKHART TOLLE, they are special, you can't attain enlightenment, you are a loser, no job, no school, no boyfriend, on top of that you are ugly."

That is what my thoughts are like lately. Even though they are not the truth, I can't help but hear this incessant thinking. My sleep patterns are completely crazy, I am tired all the time and this all is making me kinda depressed. What can I do now. I feel like I have too much time to think and have become sadistically addicted to thinking.


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HELP!!!

[TheRavenMother]

Oh dear, you really shouldn't think - you will start getting ideas!

[hrishi]

--xxx--

[Eriol]

"Are you kidding me, you are not like Jesus, HE IS SPECIAL, like ECKHART TOLLE, they are special, you can't attain enlightenment, you are a loser, no job, no school, no boyfriend, on top of that you are ugly."

o.O Your head sure is talkative hehe

[astrogrrl777]

Hrishi- I was with Swamiji Paramahamsa Nithyananda and went to the Chodrum Yatra?, Yamunotri, Badrinath, Gangotri, Rishikesh, Mossouri, Hardiwar, Dehli, and every place in between..... All through the Himalaya and it was amazing. I saw where the Saraswati Cave was and where Shankara left the body and where Babaji visits. Too many to go into.

I have tried all the meditation techques you named above. I was studying under a Sri Sri Sri....

But all the negativities keep coming up over and over. Read my story under the Indigo's who grew up in harsh environments. You will see what I mean by that.

My new spiritual name given to me by Swamiji is Ma Nithya Samraajni- but it is not happening!!!

He said I would live a life of a liberated, free, fufilled, queen.....

[serapj]

"Are you kidding me, you are not like Jesus, HE IS SPECIAL, like ECKHART TOLLE, they are special, you can't attain enlightenment, you are a loser, no job, no school, no boyfriend, on top of that you are ugly."

Haha, that is some story you got there, astrogrrl777.
You shouldn't be thinking that much.

You should get in touch with a little bit of reality, like watching tv, playing video games, streaming videos in the net, watch movies like the new one today Resident Evil Extinction or any other else if you would prefer, go to malls, do something creative like music, art, drawings, gardening, etc., something hilarious, or something fun. Or a simple sleep would do.

I wouldn't suggest reading, because you think too much when you read. So, go with the fun stuff.

I hope that helps.

[EnemyAtLineSix]

I find myself right now feeling like my life was put on hold. I always know there is a reason for everything. I am on 100% disabillity from the Army, so I can't work. I don't go to school either and I find myself VERY VERY bored. As you can see from above I came off all drugs and toxic substances 10 1/2 months ago so I sorta was reborn then. I started getting my intuition back, mind-reading capabilities, sensing presences, talking to spirits came back to. Now, I find myself very bored. I went on a trip to India in July and when I came back I felt very much emptied out. Like I had fufilled everything I had planned for this lifetime. I still feel, since July, NOW WHAT!!!!

I don't want to go to school and learn a bunch of crap and I don't want to be a slave and work for someone who makes a million off of me. Even more, I feel so disinterested in the outside world it is hilarious. Nothing of the external world interests me AT ALL!!! Everything is like a been there done that attitude from me. But here's the problem. NOW WHAT!!!

I am trying to go past my "indigo characteristics" and become complete conciousness. It's really the only thing that interests me. But, this has created a war inside my head. The ego attacking the I AM presence. I listen to my ego like a witness, but there are all these thoughts saying, "Are you kidding me, you are not like Jesus, HE IS SPECIAL, like ECKHART TOLLE, they are special, you can't attain enlightenment, you are a loser, no job, no school, no boyfriend, on top of that you are ugly."

That is what my thoughts are like lately. Even though they are not the truth, I can't help but hear this incessant thinking. My sleep patterns are completely crazy, I am tired all the time and this all is making me kinda depressed. What can I do now. I feel like I have too much time to think and have become sadistically addicted to thinking.

HELP!!!

may i suggest you meditate on your heart chakra?
staying within the heart is what matters most
Sit cross-legged. Let the tips of your index finger and thumb touch. Put your left hand on your left knee and your right hand in front of the lower part of your breast bone (so a bit above the solar plexus).
Concentrate on the Heart chakra at the spine, level with the heart.
Chant the sound YAM. (Y, "AH", "MNG")

just so you know, it may make you feel better to read over my journal entries about certain things enemyatlinesix.livejournal.com

also! any" negative" is lower vibration, the more you concentrate on the heart, throat, third eye and crown, the better off you will be, you are being surrounded by negative thoughts at this moment to heal you, so by sticking with what is within your heart, by meditating within it, opening the chakra's of those mentioned above, i am aboslutely sure you will attain,receive the help you so desire in your life.
and if they do not work, which i am sure they will....you can always say you tried, and you will attract like energies.
the energy you put out is the energy you get back so i help in that matter
much love and please take care
andrew

[Melchizedek]

Hmm.....it's odd but when you feel like you do right now, you are so close. Iniation rites of old days involved extreme terror. Shamans were buried alive for days on end with nothing but a little water, if that. When they were unearthed, if they maintained their sanity, they were considered legitimate.

Sink into this pain. It's true. The world is a farce, everything has been done before. Is there anything new or different? Inherent in the depression, the anguish, is the answer. Honor it by listening, and drop lying. If you feel and honor that pain honestly and authentically, it will detonate within and allow you to find the answer, and the question.

Look up the bat in shamanism as a symbol, as well as the "Chapel Perilous" concept. Sink into it, you'll come out the other side with the one thing you have no idea how to attain......something new.

Fiat Lux,

Jonathan

[serapj]

This link will do.
http://www.starchildglobal.com/starchild/crisis.html

So, the suggestions I've made were probably not of the best choices, except for sleep.

hope you get well,
serapj

[hrishi]

--xx--xx

[PsychoActiveSoul]

that sounds like me.

[astrogrrl777]

Thanks so much everyone....I just now read all this....In January!!

I feel a little better....accepting the process, need to open up heart chakra more still....That starchild link was incredible. Thank you so much, exactly what I am feeling...still.

LoveXXX

[Roier]

Oh dear, you really shouldn't think - you will start getting ideas!

WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????????????????????? ?????????????????????


You are advising somebody not to thiiiiiiink, sorry raven, but I disagree.

I would tell her, I had that trip the same year but before.


Ok, you will feel heavily depress, I declined to work, I wanted to kill my self in hunger or thirst.


I made my mission.


As you did yours.


You have to adapt to the concept that we are ethernal and this is just a moment.

AAAAAAAAnd I will say, if you really don't kill your self, you are still on a mission, you still have words to say.

you still have a butterfly wing to twist.


But never stop thinking, get any idea, whatever you like, losee your self wondering, be your self.

soon you will sleep tight again, and so well, so comfy, but never stop thinking.









Raaaaaveeeeeen, why do you say someone to stop thinking?????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????

[Roier]

Thanks so much everyone....I just now read all this....In January!!

I feel a little better....accepting the process, need to open up heart chakra more still....That starchild link was incredible. Thank you so much, exactly what I am feeling...still.

LoveXXX

We are never late, we always are just in time.

I asume.

[Roier]

I am so sorry Astrogrrrl, if I had not readed you later, I mean before.


Babe, you are lost as I, and for what you said, as I, we made our mission our BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TIME MISSION on 2007.

Babe, realize that we are here to stay, to bring our world here and we might not return home.

We agreed.

And well, here we are, we just did what we where sent to, so mmmmm, lets let a log to our selfs, we don't have crearly who we where or who we will be on the future, but we know what we like.

We will understand, we did already, because if you completed your mission, you already checked the log, what we let ourselves.

[Roier]

Its everywhere. For a moments.

When you se a RESEMBLANCE, may be thats your log.

Don't be fool, you can interpret everything.

But wow, how many coincidences.

Any way, its just our fantasy.


What ever it is, I suggest, NEVER STOP THINKING. believe in your self, and in your common sense.

you will feel depress ass hell for a while, but you will get over it.

Sorry If I didn't readed you before, We do not make mistakes, was not intended, we do not make mistakes.

Love you.

[PsychoActiveSoul]

coincidences

is that divine? or is that an overworked brain reaching across its indexes in a rapid fashion to form any connection it can? THINKING. It's a problem that can't be solved without thought.

[Roier]

I won't ever be able to read all that I want to read.

It's hard to find your 20%, maybe less, I DO realize that post like this are so valuable, astrobabe, rrrrllll, I pay attention, I really do. u2.

But where I come from there is a saying, "Front Line didn't made a mistake, UP, someone did.", common saying, can't blame them.

[Roier]

coincidences

is that divine? or is that an overworked brain reaching across its indexes in a rapid fashion to form any connection it can? THINKING. It's a problem that can't be solved without thought.

What??

[Roier]

What do you mean PsycH?