Untying the Judge Knot - it's time to connect not disconnect

[Patryc]

When ever we judge someone we judge ourselves because we forget that we are all connected. I have learned through my time studying to be a teacher that teachers seem to judge others more than most. This creates a division and a lack of trust which makes it almost impossible to teach to a deep level. I do not believe in teaching in the traditional sense. I believe that the student knows intrisically what they need / desire to learn at any given point in time and the teacher is simply a facilitator. All the teacher needs to do is provide the student the information or learning opportunity they desire.

Anyhow heading back to the topic, I would like to say a few more things as this has been on my mind and my heart for some time. Please remember that everyone has their own path and learns in their own way. We can not force anyone to learn what we have learned and in fact in attempting to do this we may push them in the wrong direction, we can provide opportunities to learn but intrinsic learning is the most rewarding and is really the learning that sticks. Intrinsic means that it comes within - it is it's own reward.

In regards to judging, please reserve judgement, there is no way we can know what others have gone through in their life, we can not know what has motivated their decisions and their path in life, most people are rather justified in their choices, compassion requires us to reserve judgement. I know this is biblical cliche but "judge not, lest others judge you" is one of the pearls. In judging others we do indeed judge ourselves, look at the things that irritate you - why are you judging this person for some apparent weakness or poor decision? Is it because you too made that same poor decision in your life and you wish to help or is it that you are also guilty of the same shortcomings thus resent it in others subconsciously?

There is a lot to this judging thing than meets the eye.


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All I ask is that you think about it. Don't just react - if you find yourself judging someone, think about why you are judging them. We are all interconnected, always remember this.

cosmic cuddles - love you all

[isis]

clean up your own backyard Patryc.oh that's right you've judged me as bad out of your own guilt and have me on ignore.....there's a word for this.....:-)

[Patryc]

isis you do the same, whenever you hear something you don't like, you ignore I used the ignore hoping you would get that, I haven't judged you as bad so to speak, I have seen some bad things that happened in a past life between me and yourself but I have never judged you. I just felt it wise to distance myself from you due to these visions.

[beautifulmind]

Does this include making judgements about people who one sees as judging or is it ok to judge the judger?

I guess though once one has judged the judger, they then become the judge.

[inferno_dragon377]

How dare you point out a fallacy in man, how judgemental of you :P. Just joking. You have some fine points there, PatryC. I think that, unfortunttely, judging is in our nature. I think that a fine line exists between expressing our opinion and judging. Of course it is difficult to formulate an opinion or thought without first judging something or weighing something.

I understand what you mean about negative judging. I think that we could all benefit from sharing love and light with each other, rather than raising a holier than thou flag. Unfortunately, that is almost an integral part of our society. I would venture especially true within the states. A lot rides on the quick judging of others and a lot of other negative factors. Thanks for your thoughts. Love and light, and cosmic cuddles back to you.

[Patryc]

grins, well that is kind of the cosmic rule right ?

once you judge you become judged, I don't think that makes it ok tho - to judge the judger. It just opens you up to be judged on other things. You can always turn the other cheek and forbear. This builds virtue and integrity.

[emma]

I find this is the first thing I identify with when I realise I am not with the flow... and just by remembering not to judge situations everything falls into place like clockwork.

[beautifulmind]

But isn't this thread in essence judging the judger? Sorry to be a p.i.t.a. but these are the little paradoxes I just can't seem to ignore.

[Patryc]

hahah p.i.t.a

haven't heard that acronym before

I don't particularly think this is judging the judger

all I am saying is that the act of judging someone is an act of disconnection, in judging someone you disconnect yourself from the interconnectedness or unity that is inherent to our being, perhaps subconsciously, but it's still the truth.

I am fully open to arguments to disprove my belief however, what are your thoughts?

[beautifulmind]

hahah p.i.t.a

haven't heard that acronym before

I don't particularly think this is judging the judger

all I am saying is that the act of judging someone is an act of disconnection, in judging someone you disconnect yourself from the interconnectedness or unity that is inherent to our being, perhaps subconsciously, but it's still the truth.

I am fully open to arguments to disprove my belief however, what are your thoughts?

Well, I don't disagree with what you are saying. It's not really a matter or disproving your belief it is just that so often lately when things like these are expressed I notice there is the element of what is being "frowned upon" in the actual frowning. It's like saying that if the world is perfect and there is no need or it's wrong to point out imperfections then the person speaking is contradicting themselves because if all is perfect, that includes the pointing out of imperfections because that is part of the world. See what I mean?

It feels the same here. You are saying to judge disconnects us which implies that it is wrong which makes it a judgement. So I guess if we are going to untie the knott then don't we have to begin with our piece of the string?

[Patryc]

well I think in order to progress spiritually untying that knot is necessary. I fully believe in everyone having their own path however so I would never expect anyone to do this. People will do it when they are ready. I am seeing more people wanting to do this just in observation and I think that is part of the 2012 phenomenon. You should see how popular heart foods are becoming. People want to open their hearts, this is intrinsic and it is part of our survival skills.

---------- Post added at 07:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:52 AM ----------

It feels the same here. You are saying to judge disconnects us which implies that it is wrong which makes it a judgement. So I guess if we are going to untie the knott then don't we have to begin with our piece of the string?

what it implies will depend on your interpretation - does right and wrong really exist ?

isn't this a moral interpretation and polarity thinking based on what we learn from our society. Doesn't that differ in every society you encounter?

I just feel that we gain much more in union than in separation

I watched a movie not long ago and an old lady gave this young women a bit of sage advice after she gave her some food when the other members of the party refused:

here is what she said.

take this stick and break it. She breaks it.
now take this stick and break it. She breaks it.
now take this bundle of sticks and break them. She can't break them.

this is the strength of unity and removing judgement. The old lady was a gypsy btw and she was judged by all the members of the party other than this girl who showed her compassion.

[beautifulmind]

Do you think it would make sense when confronting someone who judges and seperates themselves form the whole instead of saying "hey you really should stop judging" maybe just accept them for where THEY are at and try to connect with them anyway?

I feel like understanding goes alot farther than preaching.

[Patryc]

well I do that anyhow, I would never outright tell someone - hey stop judging everyone, it's doing you no good, I just thought it would be something to bring to the conscious minds here at IS, most people are aware of it, subconsciously. Just not consciously.

I think it is important to respect a persons choice to disconnect, most people get to a point where they realize this isn't working for them and their heart opens up again. I just think as lightworkers here we are setting examples so we need to be extra conscious of any judgement we do. I think we are all trying to do the right thing here, sometimes our ideas conflict but our hearts are in the right place.

[rabana]

hey-- i was going to mention paradox here, or call it judgment vs discernment.

discernment means that you apply your acquired experience wisdom to how you see people behaving before you get involved. or you might even discern that it is best for yourself and others not to get involved. or if you've already stuck your foot in it, to take care of your responsibilities while retreating in dignity. and to be a good example.

judgment is countering seeming negative behavior in others with accusations, innuendo, criticism, self righteousness, gossip etc.

discernment is an element of the character development that is emphasized in various spiritual paths. i learned mine, or at least gained confidence and developed it to a useful tool by studying taoism thru the i ching. it just a bout saved my butt, while trying to be 'non-judgmental' brought much suffering to my life.

[isis]

Edited at request of OP

[Amethyst]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this patryc. I agree with most of what you have said in your first post (though there is more to it). I do not think that pointing out the "negative" aspects, or effects, of judgement, as you see it, is judging people who have judged others, which would be judging everyone, lol. Neither do I think that being aware of positives and negatives, is judgment.

It seems to me as if you (like I have) have learned from your own experience of judging others, by looking at yourself, and why you have judged.

Sometimes people judge others for judging others, when they have not, and it’s just a misunderstanding. This could sometimes be to do with when they have felt judged in their own lives (like we all have).

I’ve had the lesson, of when people have judged me, and I’ve felt misunderstood and/or hurt by it, to be more understanding, and more compassionate to others, and to not (or try not to) judge them.

The more you understand yourself, the less you judge others? So it seems to me…

One can see/feel a “weakness” or room to grow in certain areas, and not judge the person. One can disagree with a person’s opinion/s or action/s, and not judge the person.

I don’t believe that everything that you have judged in another, or that you do “not like”, is because it is in you (at least not in the exact same way), or everything that you have judged, or do not like, is a mirror of yourself, just how I see it, it can be sometimes, yes, but not always.

On tolerance, I am tolerant of many things; however, when there are things that I do not tolerate, or do not want to tolerate, it does not mean that I have judged the person (in my life, sometimes that has been the case, and sometimes it has not).

As an example, my uncle used to hunt rabbits for years, and as you well know, I don’t agree with such cruelty to animals, but I do not judge him as a person, never said anything to him about it, and I see his qualities, and the love that is inside of him. Just to add, he stopped hunting rabbits, after he had a pet that he loved, and so his heart opened up to animals, and he stopped killing them.

[beautifulmind]

well I do that anyhow, I would never outright tell someone - hey stop judging everyone, it's doing you no good, I just thought it would be something to bring to the conscious minds here at IS, most people are aware of it, subconsciously. Just not consciously.

I think it is important to respect a persons choice to disconnect, most people get to a point where they realize this isn't working for them and their heart opens up again. I just think as lightworkers here we are setting examples so we need to be extra conscious of any judgement we do. I think we are all trying to do the right thing here, sometimes our ideas conflict but our hearts are in the right place.

I wasn't suggesting that you weren't Patryc. I was also trying to bring something to the conscious minds at IS though admittedly I don't claim to know everything, I just have lot's of questions.

I judge people and situations. I can admit that sometimes this doesn't serve me and I can admit that it causes me seperation at times but I don't know if here in this dimension I can exist without judgement. There are things I have to judge or maybe discern in order to maneuver situations in my life. Things like, I have to judge if my childrens teachers are giving them adequate care. If they are not, if that is visible to me, I am going to make the judgement that they are not caring for my kid. That is an example. I also have to interact with people and sometimes it doesn't go like I would hope. Like for instance if I have a family member in my life who is an alcoholic and they behave in selfish and abusive ways, I have to make a judgement about it and adjust my interactions based on that judgement. I guess what I am saying is that I am uncertain if all judgement is a disservice. I guess I feel a little hurt by others shunning or shaming me for making judgements. Some times it is all I can do and I guess I just wish that someone would take the time to understand me and why I am judging. Some of the time it can be hard to know what else to do. Ya know?

[Amethyst]

Just to add, I see what you mean about teachers judging others, but also have seen that some people, who you would not really call "teachers" (though we all are in some ways) can be very judgement about others (sometimes especially when it comes to certain things), it's easy to see this (with some people) in the workplace (the extent can differ).

[sshenry]

Please remember that everyone has their own path and learns in their own way. We can not force anyone to learn what we have learned and in fact in attempting to do this we may push them in the wrong direction, we can provide opportunities to learn but intrinsic learning is the most rewarding and is really the learning that sticks. Intrinsic means that it comes within - it is it's own reward.

In regards to judging, please reserve judgement, there is no way we can know what others have gone through in their life, we can not know what has motivated their decisions and their path in life, most people are rather justified in their choices, compassion requires us to reserve judgement. I know this is biblical cliche but "judge not, lest others judge you" is one of the pearls. In judging others we do indeed judge ourselves, look at the things that irritate you - why are you judging this person for some apparent weakness or poor decision? Is it because you too made that same poor decision in your life and you wish to help or is it that you are also guilty of the same shortcomings thus resent it in others subconsciously?

Thank you for this Patryc - truly. Very timely.

I think this is a very difficult thing for many because we tend to project what WE are feeling on the other - and the react as if it were truth instead of supposition.

[ThetaAbundance]

hey-- i was going to mention paradox here, or call it judgment vs discernment.

discernment means that you apply your acquired experience wisdom to how you see people behaving before you get involved. or you might even discern that it is best for yourself and others not to get involved. or if you've already stuck your foot in it, to take care of your responsibilities while retreating in dignity. and to be a good example.

judgment is countering seeming negative behavior in others with accusations, innuendo, criticism, self righteousness, gossip etc.

discernment is an element of the character development that is emphasized in various spiritual paths. i learned mine, or at least gained confidence and developed it to a useful tool by studying taoism thru the i ching. it just a bout saved my butt, while trying to be 'non-judgmental' brought much suffering to my life.

YES, Yes, yes...

Exactly!