emotional retardation; what do you do to compensate? do you create new victim-fied situations for yourself to dwell on? Do you fear the inevitable? is your fear inevitable? is it inevitable that by reading this you will go into denial?? The ego is a genius that tricks you, by causing "confusion", by making it seem like none of this makes sense, by making it possible that by listening to this, more effort is required. Why does the brain fear spirituality? becase the brain is lazy, but efficient, but lazy; spiritual advancement requirse high amounts of energy, so your brain does anything to resist. by watching your thinkingness, you will realize that the thoughts are not yours, but there exist an energy field in your mind, a thinking field that has become so dependant on eating cactus instead of easier to swallow vegetation. now that you know its all fake, what will you do with it? have you not experienced the worst? is it not time for the best? instead of projecting fear outside of you, why not transmute and use it?
Am i that gone that i cant decide what i want? is it a done deal? have i become too aware? is it a defect? what do i do with it? is it time to leave? Do i take as many as i can with me and pull a columbine? or do i do the "hardest" thing? sit n watch? have i not done that for long enough? isnt it time to bounce? get away from the illusion?
no, because this illusion is the highlight of existance. existance on its own is boring, viewed from here, but "herE" is boring, viewed from the number line. if i exist so that i May, then its July and i should be in the sun having fun, giving and taking, but always finding a way to take more than receive. if your neurotransmitters are conscious, they follow your orders, so give good ones, or face consequences, which are just experiences, which are just illusions, which is just life, which is just an illusion, which is just a consequence of ignorance (which is just a neccesity).
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