What does all this mean??

[Ishtar]

Greetings, all..

Below are some of the things I have experienced. I just want to know if anyone else has had them and what they might mean.. I've given up trying to figure it out and to make others "understand" what I'm saying!! But I think I may just find the answer here. I really appreciate your help (and patience) in this

1- Recurrent dreams of a particular place I had NEVER seen in my life. I used to dream of a really old, narrow road on a dark, rainy day.. And a door to what seems like an old house. Brick walls, old.. This was when I was around 16. I had never been to an area like this, and I had this dream several times. At the time, I was too young to investigate further into it, but I do remember having felt eerie about it, especially that I'd always been psychic.

2- There were a few occasions when I would dream of a complete stranger (name, face and all), only to meet that very person later on in "real" life.

3- While Western medicine may call it Schizophrenia, I denounce that and believe there's something more to it than these "labels". ALL MY LIFE, my head has been very crowded with thoughts and dialogues. I am at constant dialoge with myself, internally.. Conflicting thoughts, racing through my head, sometimes with crowds in the background and songs, literally cramming my mind to the point of fatigue.. I used to pace back and forth in the big lounge in our old house, that's when I could think clearly. I would pace and pace and pace, and have loud conversations with an invisible audience. I never cared who the audience was, I just spoke to them, and continue to do so to this day. I am always talking! To an outsider looking in at me, it would appear as though I was talking to myself. But I never talk to "ME", it's always to "others". No one in particular, just others. I never bother with who it is, I just do it. I get amazing clarity of thinking that way.

4- Now this one means a LOT to me because I've had it ever since. I have been hearing voices for as long as I can remember. They are almost always inside my head, literally, like I don't actually hear them coming from outside as you would from an external source. It almost always happens at night, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, when i'm about to fall asleep. the voices vary greatly: I spent a good couple of years hearing people call my name.. What's interesting is that the voices were unfamiliar, of people I do not know. As I was saying, they vary from one person calling my name (at which point I find myself eyes wide open, panting, heart racing), to a few people calling me or saying something to me, plus (and this is more common) people talking to each other, and groups chattering in this crowded atmosphere.. I once 'heard' an accident, in detail, I actually sensed it, only to read about it in the paper the following moring. Overlapping of 6th sense and voice-hearing? I don't know.

I hear music, too. Any kind of music, doesn't matter. But it's all original!! Nothing I have heard before, nothing that actually exists. Once or twice I actually heard SONGS THAT DO NOT EXIST. I would hear a full-fledge song, an actual SONG that doesn't exist in real life. I just find it fascinating, only because I cannot describe it any other way. The last song I heard was by 3 females and they were repeating the word "evolution". they said it 3 times. Then I "woke up", again with a racing heart and breath.

I sometimes feel REALLY, REALLY scared. No reason. I just feel extremely overwhelmed, like a negative vibe or energy has just taken over every cell in my being. I get panic attacks sometimes, out of nowhere. I can at times literally sense the heaviness of energy. And what frustrates me the most is the fact that PEOPLE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. Not that I want them to, but hello, a little friendliness goes a long way! I am not a drama queen. I just feel emotional when I feel misunderstood or when I am treated unfairly. And I don't like being judged, labelled or called things. I think I have anger management issues For good reason, though. Nothing gets to me like the feeling of being misunderstood or judged.

Thanks in advance for reading up to this point I look forward to any thoughts, advice, ideas, etc.

* Ishtar *

[Patryc]

1. most likely past lives if you have never been to or seen these places before. Especially if the dream is very vivid.

2. precognition - dreams you have can be of past or future events, something we call soul fragments. Often the dreams that are precognition you will forget until just prior to experiencing them but you will have that sense of deja vu and the dream will come back to you before you experience it.

3. there is a thread called the brain as a filter here. Look at this - that may explain the schizophrenic label a little better. Basically it suggests that most people in the physical world filter information that they perceive. In schizophrenia it's not filtered or that filter is heavily diminished. You get a much broader range of perception. Perhaps it's a gift or a curse but I'm guessing these people have a better heads up on whats going on in the world than most of us.

4. I don't have much experience with this as I'm not particularly clairaudient. Perhaps you should speak to Ravenmother - she has shared similar experiences to this with me.

I hope this helps.

namaste

Patryc

[Ishtar]

Thanks a million, Patryc.. FINALLY! Explanations that make SENSE! I will research more into all that. I always knew there was something more to it. What's even better is having people around who KNOW what it's like..

[Patryc]

your welcome - yes it's a great feeling when you finally find this place

it's hard being so different from everyone else in this world - handy to know there are others out there like us

namaste

Patryc

[sshenry]

If it is any comfort - I also hear voices, I always have. Voices in my head. Lots of voices, conversations, people shouting random words, and always one voice who talks to me as if he's my best friend, giving me advice and calming me down when I'm upset. He is a blessing - the rest can be amusing or annoying, depending on what I am trying to do. I've got notebooks filled with the conversations I've overheard - I've found them extremely useful in my writing

Music is also a regular occurance - I can hear whole compositions in my head - most of which I know that I've never heard before, and some that is downright bizzare, but it has definitely helped in my piano playing, I can sit down and come up with an original piece (original to other people - but really the one that is playing in my head) and everyone thinks it just wonderful.

I used to be scared of this - but my one voice has taught me to regard the voices, the music, the ideas that seem to leap out of thin air, as signs that I have stepped beyond the conventional views of reality and am opeing up to a buffet of possibilities.

blessings to you.