guys...plz help me out.......... plz...

[sailee.sk]

well........
thnx for being concerned.........
m in mess here....
n dnt know where to start from............

i've just had an enormous emotional blow from my mom..........
n added one more point in my guilt list.
it seems that all i ever gave my mom n dad is pain..... n disappointment in every form.....
but no one ever cared about what i am going thru...
i am totally into spirituality... n thats wht matters to me most........
i cud stop eating n drinking for as long as poss... if i cud get to be wid even one human having similar interests.....
metaphysics....
life before n after da one on earth.....
god...
n lots of stuff dats been discussed here.......

but dis is wht i cud never speak about........ never.
my moms religious... n good..... bt thinks dat dis is not the right age to think about saints... god.. n their life........
maybe she only wants me to lead a peaceful life......
but a "normal life" is what i dnt want.........
i know dat all of us have been here in our previous lives....... done all of this "normal" stuff.......
n yet..... how many souls feel that they have really led a gr8 life?
i dnt wanna waste another lifetime doing same old things.........
havnt i possibly married... studied... n worked in atleast.. say 7 out of last 10 lives? den y do it again........
i wanna know things beyond all dis...

m trying to live two parallel lives.........
i left college in december 08..... bt my parents dont know it...... n couldnt tell dem coz dats amongst da worst thing u cud do in India(trust me on dis). n since my dad isnt in inda.... i couldnt let my poor mom go thru all dis pain.
i wanna learn reiki... past life regression n all dat stuff.........
but if m not mentally balanced...... how on earth m i gonna do it?
i have stopped living life since 3 yrs n 10 minths..... coz da only guy ever interested in my "real" life... left me.
no one to hear me out after dat.......
i cud go on for hours..... too many blocked aspects of my life.......
bt in short...... da thread about WORK HAVIN NO HONOR is wht i truly wanna do wid my life.........
n i know i somehow will..........


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bt plz help me people.......i dnt know ver to start living my life from? how do i know wht my true calling is? i dont know how to prove to my parents dat m not useless........
i dnt wanna attend college..... bt will hav to do some kinda work to atleast make my parents believe in me.....
bt wht? all i luv to do is related to spirituality, god n metaphysics..... alternate therapies n stuff..... bt m way too weak (physically n mentally) to start wid it.
what shud i do in dis case? m sick of telling lies about myself.....
n its da first tym i've shared my probs wid anyone in such depth..... so please forgive me for writin too much.........
very sorry to take up so much of ur tym. hope u can help me.........
all i've done in da last week is readin all da posts on IS. it feels like home......
so luv u guys lots.......n thnxs for readin...........
tc...

[Patryc]

cosmic cuddles, the first decision is to honour yourself, do not base yourself on a past relationship, time to let go and live for you and live for life because life is wonderful, great to see you here and I'm sure you will make lots of friends here

[sshenry]

Frankly, any age at which you start being interested in spirituality is the right age to explore it. You need to follow what your heart is telling you - even if others don't agree with your decision.

You listed some of the things you were interested in - Reiki and metaphysics - maybe the best place for you to start is to start researching one of those subjects and see where it leads you.

As to work - perhaps something light, a part time job that gives you some money but doesn't interfere with your ability to persue those things which interest you? Plenty of those out there - they might not be what your parents had in mind for you, but at least it's work.

I wish you all the best!

[t1mb3rl1n3]

well........
thnx for being concerned.........
m in mess here....
n dnt know where to start from............

i've just had an enormous emotional blow from my mom..........
n added one more point in my guilt list.
it seems that all i ever gave my mom n dad is pain..... n disappointment in every form.....
but no one ever cared about what i am going thru...
i am totally into spirituality... n thats wht matters to me most........
i cud stop eating n drinking for as long as poss... if i cud get to be wid even one human having similar interests.....
metaphysics....
life before n after da one on earth.....
god...
n lots of stuff dats been discussed here.......

but dis is wht i cud never speak about........ never.
my moms religious... n good..... bt thinks dat dis is not the right age to think about saints... god.. n their life........
maybe she only wants me to lead a peaceful life......
but a "normal life" is what i dnt want.........
i know dat all of us have been here in our previous lives....... done all of this "normal" stuff.......
n yet..... how many souls feel that they have really led a gr8 life?
i dnt wanna waste another lifetime doing same old things.........
havnt i possibly married... studied... n worked in atleast.. say 7 out of last 10 lives? den y do it again........
i wanna know things beyond all dis...

m trying to live two parallel lives.........
i left college in december 08..... bt my parents dont know it...... n couldnt tell dem coz dats amongst da worst thing u cud do in India(trust me on dis). n since my dad isnt in inda.... i couldnt let my poor mom go thru all dis pain.
i wanna learn reiki... past life regression n all dat stuff.........
but if m not mentally balanced...... how on earth m i gonna do it?
i have stopped living life since 3 yrs n 10 minths..... coz da only guy ever interested in my "real" life... left me.
no one to hear me out after dat.......
i cud go on for hours..... too many blocked aspects of my life.......
bt in short...... da thread about WORK HAVIN NO HONOR is wht i truly wanna do wid my life.........
n i know i somehow will..........

bt plz help me people.......i dnt know ver to start living my life from? how do i know wht my true calling is? i dont know how to prove to my parents dat m not useless........
i dnt wanna attend college..... bt will hav to do some kinda work to atleast make my parents believe in me.....
bt wht? all i luv to do is related to spirituality, god n metaphysics..... alternate therapies n stuff..... bt m way too weak (physically n mentally) to start wid it.
what shud i do in dis case? m sick of telling lies about myself.....
n its da first tym i've shared my probs wid anyone in such depth..... so please forgive me for writin too much.........
very sorry to take up so much of ur tym. hope u can help me.........
all i've done in da last week is readin all da posts on IS. it feels like home......
so luv u guys lots.......n thnxs for readin...........
tc...

if you wish to walk in this Way, you must first put foot to stone and step

[Watcher-of-the-Shadows]

This is your path to walk not your parents. We all try so hard to please them and hate to feel that we have failed them in some way, but what matters most is are you happy and filled up with joy in your life. You are the one experiencing it, follow your heart God will lead the way.

[Indigo Dog]

Dear Sailee,

First of all you are feeling so much stress and unhappiness because you know you are not living the life that you were meant to live. You know that lying to your parents isn't who you are and it is tearing you apart. Tell them the truth. Tell them everything. This will be painful but you will be surprised how tough and resilient your folks really are.

Secondly, get clear about what you really want to do. Be honest and realistic. You are in a crisis right now and it is appropriate for you to ask for help and advice from wherever you can get it.

Thirdly, rescue yourself. Now is the time to stop waiting for your parents, boss, boyfriend, whoever to save you. You have to grow a spine and save yourself. What I mean is make choices and take actions to help you move toward your goals. Empower yourself. Know that those in your life are welcome to help you but that you can rely on yourself if you have to.

[leila]

trust your self and your path...it will come clear at some point what you want to do...how could it not? it is what you are already. you are already walking it....

[wolf89]

ye my paran;t toled me the same , but you know how peopel are ,they are not able to see the biger point in life ,not like us give them time , forgive them ,they are just humans ,they are the children not you , and you are there guardian and mentor .You have to threat them like children because they are young , love them how they are ,support them and forgive them because they are inconstient of hou they hurt you .Don;t fotget that they are a part of you sow you have to threat them as you wold wish people to threat you .I hope the answer is love .Some time i forget that my parants are mike children to me sow , i don;t show them to much life in me because its very consuming to walk in 2 warld at the same time , but i have to the what is best for them 2 because i am here to protect and guid them to saifty .I am here to help them evolve on there own paths , and not to force them to accept my path LOve to you

[ZhiLin]

well........
thnx for being concerned.........
m in mess here....
n dnt know where to start from............

i've just had an enormous emotional blow from my mom..........
n added one more point in my guilt list.
it seems that all i ever gave my mom n dad is pain..... n disappointment in every form.....
but no one ever cared about what i am going thru...
i am totally into spirituality... n thats wht matters to me most........
i cud stop eating n drinking for as long as poss... if i cud get to be wid even one human having similar interests.....
metaphysics....
life before n after da one on earth.....
god...
n lots of stuff dats been discussed here.......

but dis is wht i cud never speak about........ never.
my moms religious... n good..... bt thinks dat dis is not the right age to think about saints... god.. n their life........
maybe she only wants me to lead a peaceful life......
but a "normal life" is what i dnt want.........
i know dat all of us have been here in our previous lives....... done all of this "normal" stuff.......
n yet..... how many souls feel that they have really led a gr8 life?
i dnt wanna waste another lifetime doing same old things.........
havnt i possibly married... studied... n worked in atleast.. say 7 out of last 10 lives? den y do it again........
i wanna know things beyond all dis...

m trying to live two parallel lives.........
i left college in december 08..... bt my parents dont know it...... n couldnt tell dem coz dats amongst da worst thing u cud do in India(trust me on dis). n since my dad isnt in inda.... i couldnt let my poor mom go thru all dis pain.
i wanna learn reiki... past life regression n all dat stuff.........
but if m not mentally balanced...... how on earth m i gonna do it?
i have stopped living life since 3 yrs n 10 minths..... coz da only guy ever interested in my "real" life... left me.
no one to hear me out after dat.......
i cud go on for hours..... too many blocked aspects of my life.......
bt in short...... da thread about WORK HAVIN NO HONOR is wht i truly wanna do wid my life.........
n i know i somehow will..........

bt plz help me people.......i dnt know ver to start living my life from? how do i know wht my true calling is? i dont know how to prove to my parents dat m not useless........
i dnt wanna attend college..... bt will hav to do some kinda work to atleast make my parents believe in me.....
bt wht? all i luv to do is related to spirituality, god n metaphysics..... alternate therapies n stuff..... bt m way too weak (physically n mentally) to start wid it.
what shud i do in dis case? m sick of telling lies about myself.....
n its da first tym i've shared my probs wid anyone in such depth..... so please forgive me for writin too much.........
very sorry to take up so much of ur tym. hope u can help me.........
all i've done in da last week is readin all da posts on IS. it feels like home......
so luv u guys lots.......n thnxs for readin...........
tc...

1) Definitely learn Reiki. You don't have to be "enlightened" or have your head on straight. It's actually a very good catalyst. Just don't give in to any silly dogmas. Reiki is an ability, so don't let others tell you what to think. Just get the attunements and move on. You can practice Reiki every day on yourself, to keep yourself in balance

2) Don't try to please your parents. They'll never be happy unless you become a complete clone of them. And then you'll feel you'll never be happy unless your kids are like you. Lol...

3) This forum is awesome. I myself have trouble finding people with interest in any of this stuff. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. We're all so dispersed around the world.

4) There is no need to learn and repeat experiences. There is no need to have compartmentalized knowledge or a "knowledge" hierarchy. There's no need to start out as a blank canvas over and over and have to pay for what you "did" in a past life (even if you don't remember it). We're stuck in yet another life because when we died, we decided to give power to some "guides" that "reviewed our wrongdoings and the lessons we haven't learned" and decided (for us) that we need to come back to a rigid, limiting dimension. But even this is something we chose because we felt this experience had value. We don't need to learn, we need to remember. Next time, don't let someone else lead you and tell you what to do. Till then, do something new. Look at this lifetime as a unique challenge. Push yourself and see how far you can go, with the resources that you do have.

[Spyder]

Follow your heart and creation will move itself around you.Stay true to yourself and the path will be shown to you.Learn Reiki,learn everything you can.
Love and luck
Spyder