Why is he in my life?

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Why is he in my life? «  » by ThePaintedBird
This is a rather long story, but I'll try to keep it short.
Basically I've known this guy, Michael, for about 6 years now and in all of these 6 years I've been in love with him. Sometimes more-so at other times, other times less. And the relationship we have is very odd. It's not just that we have the same sense of humor, but the same way of thinking and looking at the world. If anything, it feels like a mentor/student relationship.
He tends to drop out of my life for large amounts of time, but he always comes back! When he's gone, it's easier for me to cope that I'm not talking with him, now that he's returned (He added me as a friend on facebook) I'm an emotional mess!
He always ends up having a girlfriend and my role is to help him while he gets hurt over and over again.

I have a feeling we might be twin flames , since when I think about Michael I get an image of the Yin/yang symbol in which I'm the lower, black with white half and he's the upper white one. We just fit. We even look alike! But whenever I push any form of communication on him, he tends to run away.
My spirit guides told me to let him come to me.

I'm just wondering if you guys have any advice. Should I forget him? Is his friendship worthwhile? Could we be twin flames? Is this more harmful than good for me? (Gives me a lot of heartache).
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«  » by Aion
You've already gotten the best advice you're going to get: let him come to you.

If anyone told you to get away from him, would you really do it anyway? Could you do it? I doubt that, and I imagine there's a good reason for it.

Live your life how you need to live it. If you want to wait for him, that's your prerogative. If you think it's unfair to wait for him, you should find other people, and if your paths converge in the future, then that's great. If not, then accept it; no matter what happens, it'll be the for the best. If you don't end up together, then you'll know he isn't your twin flame.
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«  » by Indigo Dog
You are addicted to how this guy makes you feel. It happens. Ask yourself though, deep down inside do feel like he is actually holding you back from being your most amazing self?

I mean he gets everything he wants from you when he wants it. You give him undivided attention and love fixes. Congratulations you have a son! But hey, you want what you want. I get it. I chased a few lopsided relationships around for years. It never developed into a mature friendship or a satisfying romance. Your guides are right. He'll come to you, but I want to encourage you to want more!

Let this guy be a sign post to something even better than you first imagined. Start asking the universe for the equivalent or better right now. You like the way he makes you feel then ask for that and more. This old love interest is training you to want better then you have right now. Clearly you are desiring a passionate, committed, loving, deeply satisfying relationship with a man that curls your toes with searing kisses.

Stop sabotaging yourself by being too stubborn to let go of this lump of coal, hoping it will turn into a diamond if you love it enough. Open your heart and let the diamonds come rolling in. That resistance you keep feeling in the pit of your stomach is you not letting go. Once you surrender to what the universe has lined up for you it will happen quickly, delightfully and with great thrill!

You can have him, but he might not worthy of who you have evolved to become so far. Trying to make this work with what you know is not the safe move. It leads to more of the same. Just relax, feel fabulous and flash that I'm so ready to be adored smile around. You will be enchanted with who rushes over to spoil you. He will be your perfect match. And if you blow this new guy off then another will step in to take his place. Allow the vibrational match to your pure spirit to get near you.

Falling in love should be fun.
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«  » by ThePaintedBird
Thank you so so so so much, Aion and Astara!
<3
Means a lot and both of you gave such sound advice. I'll continue living like I have when he wasn't around me...life goes on! :) And by god, I'll find my own path independent of him!
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«  » by Checkers
Sometimes I wonder if people come into our lives to teach us something and then it is perhaps in their departure that they teach us something even more valuable. In my limited experience and what is now retrospective gratitude I've found that no one ever truly leaves and that if you look hard enough you can can find the other person in yourself. All people are manifestations of the One despite the individualized egos that may or may not be obscuring our interconnectedness. It's like all people present us with the possibility of going through stages of self negation to the point where we can only recognize ourselves as the other. When the other is around I think our purpose is to cultivate and strengthen communication so that we draw out the selflessness in the other and the other draws out the selflessness in us and an exchange of identity can take place. That way, in the case where the other may not be around the despair that may surface isn't the despair of seeking yourself in him/her but it's the despair of always carving away at yourself to find the other within. This may sound cliche but it's my hope that the more you make a space for the other the more he/she will appear in your life. In contrast, the more you solidify yourself and view the departure of the other as a loss the more he/she will elude you. Like Ram Dass said, the game isn't about becoming somebody it's about becoming nobody.

I don't have much experience with successful (spiritual) relationships (but maybe they've been successful for that reason), but it seems to me that the more you allow your heart to break the more you'll always be dying, and the more you die the more you embody love. And when you are something you don't necessarily have to go out looking to find it.

So turn your heart totally inside out and allow this world to shatter you because I have a feeling it also has a way of building the most broken of us back up to live again.
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«  » by ekati
ThePaintedBird wrote:This is a rather long story, but I'll try to keep it short.
Basically I've known this guy, Michael, for about 6 years now and in all of these 6 years I've been in love with him. Sometimes more-so at other times, other times less. And the relationship we have is very odd. It's not just that we have the same sense of humor, but the same way of thinking and looking at the world. If anything, it feels like a mentor/student relationship.
He tends to drop out of my life for large amounts of time, but he always comes back! When he's gone, it's easier for me to cope that I'm not talking with him, now that he's returned (He added me as a friend on facebook) I'm an emotional mess!
He always ends up having a girlfriend and my role is to help him while he gets hurt over and over again.

I have a feeling we might be twin flames , since when I think about Michael I get an image of the Yin/yang symbol in which I'm the lower, black with white half and he's the upper white one. We just fit. We even look alike! But whenever I push any form of communication on him, he tends to run away.
My spirit guides told me to let him come to me.

I'm just wondering if you guys have any advice. Should I forget him? Is his friendship worthwhile? Could we be twin flames? Is this more harmful than good for me? (Gives me a lot of heartache).


oh no.... I've seen that. Back off..... stay away........ delete him..... he is not for you.. do not think of him... ever.....
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