OK, here's something that happened to me last month that I've been meaning to post. I'll start out by saying that I am a hetero married feminist who has always found homosexuality to be totally normal and no big whoop. I'm sure I was homosexual in at least one past life b/c it seems so normal to me. Anyway, for the past 6 years I've been working out, thanks to the generosity of my husband, at an expensive personal training weightlifting place. It's owned by a fundamentalist Christian but that's OK b/c I try to respect everyone and I thought the owner and I respected each other as people, even though I am a liberal jesus-loving neo-pagan (I think). Over the years, many different trainers have come and gone. Currently there is Mario, an Italian American who I like and have helped with his sick dogs, Jeff, who I like and who happens to be gay, and some girl who's hardly ever there. Plus Mike the owner. Well I worked out the day after Thanksgiving and had a new trainer. Immediately I got the asshole vibe from him, and my indigo intuition is hardly ever wrong. But so what b/c what the hell he's just training me. I had seen him there recently but never had him for my trainer. For most of the workout Jeff and Mario were working out people and I was with the asshole. There were no other ladies there. Well asshole started calling Jeff "Jeffina" and referring to him as a woman, and saying how they were going to box or fight that night. Mike was in the office doing paperwork oblivious to the whole thing and once in a while Mario joined in calling Jeff Jeffina and asking if the people working out had met their new female trainer. It pissed me off as a liberal feminist and someone with values and integrity. Jeff did not seem offended but well the hell was he to do if he was. Finally I had enough and said something akin to "Don't worry Jeff, I'll protect you" of defend you, or whatever like that. I was trying to respond with gentle assertive humor to diffuse the situation. However asshole said "I think I already made it clear that I'm not above hitting a woman." So in one fell swoop in my perspective he offended Jeff as a homosexual and threatened me as a woman. Well, sadly, I decided not to make a scene. In retrospect I wish I had. I went to my next appt. and called Mike from my car. I left a message with Mario to have Mike call me but he never did. A few days later I called him and told him what happened and he said it was inapropriate and he wouldn't use asshole's services again, he was a friend of Mario's who was helping out and would only have been there three more weeks anyway. I expressed concern that he was opening himself up to a lawsuit for sexual harassment or a hostile work environment, and said I'd expect that kind of shit in the locker room of the Y, not at an expensive place. I said I didn't feel like paying big $$ for that type of environment, or supporting a business that thought employing people like that was OK. PLus, it's billed as a distraction-free work environment. I thought we came to a resoluton. Anyway, 2 workouts later I went in and there was asshole. So Mike and lied to me, then ambushed me by not saying that asshole would be there, and giving me the option of not coming in. I walked out and demanded my money back, which for the rest of my sessions was $448. I notified the local NOW chapter, who notified the gay community. Mike said Jeff said he thought it was a joke, and was not offended. I said Jeff's responsible for his feelings and I'm responsible for mine, and though I think I have a great sense of humor, I don't find jokes about hitting homosexuals or women to be funny. My question is, did I go against some type of unspoken gay etiquette? I wasn't trying to get Jeff in trouble or make him feel awkward or imply he couldn't take care of himself. I advocated for myself as well as him, and told Mike I thought he owed Jeff an apology, b/c even if he was offended he might not say anything for fear of losing his job. Anyway, I'm all pissed off and shit. Sorry so long.
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