Constant Non-Duality, Interior = Exterior

[angelus ex umbra]

to preface: within the following paragraph terms will be used such as "I", "me", "mine", "myself", "you", "your", "yourself", "we", "our", "ourselves", "they", "their", and possibly other dualistic references. this is something that is difficult to find a clean way around when coming from a perspective like the one about to be described. apologies for the following jumbled mess of pixels.

this experience i find myself in is very strange but very familiar. a term i enjoy using is fallen. familiar/alien. my interior processes are mirrored in every exterior phenomenon observed. as if every external sight, sound, or sensation is a living metaphor for all internal thoughts and feelings. at some times the synchronicities are far more dense than at other times. the world still looks the same as i remember it being in the past but the experience of it is completely different. when i choose to let go of a question i wish to ask of another, they bring up the topic on their own and volunteer the information i was thinking. if i desire for there to be a certain object in a drawer for example and i do not doubt if it will be there, it is always there. but the more specific the desire, the less often it is brought into existence. it is a combination of or cross between manifestation and precognition, but not one or the other. while in meditation or as sleep is coming on i hear familiar voices of family or friends, saying very specific things. but whether these are past, present, or future conversations, or their internal thoughts is still undetermined. i do not ask. when i seek direct confirmation of the validity of of these phenomena from external sources, there is always an element then presented to discredit them. and when i attempt to demonstrate the phenomena for others, they are never realized. when i am fully present in this state of awareness and appreciative of it or happy about it while in public, beautiful women and sometimes men with big beautiful eyes pass in cars or turn there heads in restaurants and look at me. if i smile they smile in return. on the other hand if i am confused while in this state, or thinking a lot about what is happening or trying to manifest these beautiful things, sickly, ugly or angry faced people with small tight eyes are to be found and my smiles are never returned. other than people, these external phenomena take the form of birds, dogs, bells, laughter, sirens, alarms, screams or loud bangs, pops, or crashes. while in closed eye meditation there are sometimes forms which can be felt or seen, as if something is passing in front of the light source in the room which is falling on my eyelids. in the interior space there can be seen circles of color radiating from the peripheral to a central point. there are often as well 4, 6, and 8 pointed crossings, (X, *) which at times rotate counter clockwise.

well there it is, for the most part.

take the views seeking to disprove and embrace them... you will get nowhere with the answers freely given to you, it takes out the part of your abilities and life which are to learn. you were given the abilities (yes, I do share what you've described as well) and not the answers to them for a reason. these are yours to figure out on your own. if someone seeks to disprove what you have stated, there is something to be learned in their words. and there is a reason why when you try to duplicate what happens when you are alone to someone for proof it never happens (I've found that I can do them in front of others if I'm not trying to prove anything (however usually in these cases the person which I did it around never noticed it anyway (one person I've found does notice also has these abilities as well)), but when I do try to prove it nothing happens), though I don't know why for sure, I believe it is because they are either not ready to see yet, or simply not supposed to see for whatever reason.


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