sensitive topic

[Balance]

FORWARNING THIS TOPIC IS GOING TO COVER CUTTING AND CUTTERS. IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, LEAVE NOW. you have been warned


As I stated above this topic is about cutting. I am a cutter and I know how it feels, for me, it makes me feel like I can control my life and what pain I get. I know a lot don't want to talk about it but it will help you. If you have questions, PM please. I realise that I may be attacked or even banned, but it is a risk I want to take to help people on here.

[EnemyAtLineSix]

hey man, i used to cut, it wasnt really serious though
it was more the pain control though seeing how much i can take
it got to the point in where i was sitting in class one day and decided to carve my friends name into my hand.
no pain, just scratch with a safety pin.
exacto knife anyone? haha

[rug]

you are a wonderful soul to open this. i am not a cutter right now, but i feel that i have been one in at least one past life. while reading this my arm started to tingel along past scars. i just got the sensation that i killed myself in that life. so many emotions...

[EnemyAtLineSix]

geesh

[Balance]

yeah, it's not fun, it's almost like death by suffication when you commit suicide. I've attempted one and didn't work obviously. Thanks EALS and rug for replying

[Larque]

Thanks for bringing up this topic...it *is* a sensitive one, and a lot of people feel its taboo, but its important nonetheless.

I've cut a few times, mostly as a teenager. Nothing serious (as far as physical harm goes), but it was usually under extreme emotional duress, after either crying buckets and still not feeling better, or when I was so hurt and upset I couldn't cry at all. Its not healthy in any way, shape, or form, but there was something incredibly soothing and cathartic about it.

I haven't done it in a long time, mostly because I am blessed to have an awesome therapist and a good support network of family and friends. My therapist is amazing...it does wonders, for me, to just sit and talk to someone kind and objective. I've learned so much, especially that depression comes and goes, and sometimes you just need to feel shitty to get over it, then move on to the next day.

[Elleke]

woohoo for talking about this!!

I believe lot of indigos do this!
'Just for fun' makes me a bit angry to hear, just like sm is just for fun. Big bullshit in my view.

Yeah let's handle all destructive people a knife so they can cut themselves. Cool when you are a grandma or pa with all the scarves on your body. Real cool to show your kids.

You know what. let's all cut a harry p sign on our head. That's cool, or what about the new indigosign. Haven't you got that already. You are so out now!

I love it when they bring me to ER again. They bring me coffee, I know all the doctors there by name now. It's my favorite place to be, at a free sunday.

It's different when you hurt your body once a bit in a way where you can experience the borders of your body and mind. That is reasonable imo.

Fuck really fuck the nice talk about it, and let's go to the core of the selfdestructing your body.

Pain! Selfcontrol! Feeling your body! A way to express feelings, that otherwise can't be expressed! Addiction! Hating life, hating love.

A way to comfort yourself that is addictive.

It's hard, so hard to stop with that addiction, cause it represent a choice for love and starting to live! instead of selfdestruction, survival, and instant rush.

How brave it is to choose to stop, and starting to love yourself.
How brave it is, to continue to hurt your body. To experience this experience, to fully stand in the dark.

Some people need this, in order to survive.Very few. The most are addicted, and I wish I could show them the path to other ways to get their needs.

But it's a choice, and all is well.
Although it hurts me like hell to see that people hurt themselves.

Oh Elleke, you can be so dramatic sometimes,

Loveeeeeeeeeeee

[Balance]

.....O.O; wow, ranty, but....uh, i have no words to describe what I feel except maybe MPD

[FreeSpeak]

Not as bizarre as you might think..... Lots of people use the pain to release DMT into the system as an inducement to euphoria. Most others use masturbation or get into sado-masochistic stuff or chemicals. This experience particularly thrives within the Sufi's of India and in prisons everywhere.

Tattoos are very popular in these cultures and sub-cultures, a badge for the pain endured.

When I was much younger, I did it too - particularly driving straight pins into my arms... that was the 1950's. I chose masturbation, then met a girl who understood and needed my help, too.

There seems to be a certain voyeurism in the sado-mas experience, even a trading of identities, much like making love [notice I said making love, not having sex].

The addiction to the DMT rush seems to come from the Pineal Gland where it is said, the soul resides.

In any case cutting/piercing seems to take on a religious connotation and is far more common in the cultures of the world than most of us can conceptualize.

♥

[Balance]

no, you're right. When most cutters cut, they get a feeling of being high and, like a drug user, they need to do it more to get that same high. I got the high as well and recently took down all the mental barriers to hide my strength and tokeepinalltheeffingsexualenergiesIhave. Anyway, uh yeah, shutting up

[FreeSpeak]

no, you're right. When most cutters cut, they get a feeling of being high and, like a drug user, they need to do it more to get that same high. I got the high as well and recently took down all the mental barriers to hide my strength and tokeepinalltheeffingsexualenergiesIhave. Anyway, uh yeah, shutting up

Please, rock on.. I was just pointing out how universal it is. Truth is far more valuable than discretion here because I believe as others post, you are going to see a BUNCH of others experiencing the same thing... possibly with fantasies (which affect telepathy, I believe) and maybe visions and such.

Forgive me for being an analytical jerk... rave on, you guys, this is fascinating.

WORD: Lonely.

♥

[Elleke]

man o man

ofcourse it makes you high

like a cheep drug

the indians have rituals for their man.

they capture poisoning ants, make them angry and put them in big gloves. the indianman puts juice on his hand, that protect him in a way from the poison.

he chooses his gloves, and the patron on the gloves have a structure. That painting is put on the body of the indian. The next day the juice is black on his body and hands. Then the sjaman puts the ants in the gloves and the man put his hands it it.

It feels like hell. The pain makes him go into trance, the whole tribe dances with him. The pain is almost unbeareble.

But hee, the more he does this ceremony, the more man he is. He is prepared for real life, and can handle pain in his life more.

He does this at least five times in his life.

Personally, I cannot understand pain as a good thing, once you love yourself.
Well ofcourse I understand it, as just a feeling, that is great, and is so cool to experienc ein this dimension. When you are an angel torture is a wonderfull experience.

I understand, but I dont understand. Aaaaaaaaaaa brainwave

Perhaps am I trying to much to put pain in a structure. I am addicted to pain, and trying to kick off of it. Still hard sometimes. But as my addiction gets less, I understand it less. Like an icecube that becomes water. When you love your body, at first you dont wanna hurt it. It is a contradiction. When you are an angel you just want to experience that, and when youre enlightend it's just an energy, you likely won't choose to experience anymore.

Addiction sucks. scarves sucks.

It's weird to be between dimensions, and experience a phenonomen so weird.

It's about hate and love. Anger and guilt. About compassion and frustration.

[Elleke]

There is a song here and it says:

If I had wings like an angel
I would go to the highest mountaintop
and scream it all out!

That is how I feel now.

[angelalouisa]

much love to u

[Balance]

um, i have a poem about cutting in my poetry area. you should go see if it's similar to your son's old girlfriend.

[TheNewSound]

Hooray for emo kids everywhere and anywhere!

*"I'm not okay" the song, is heard in every direction.

[angelluv]

Very good controversial topic to bring up. I'm proud to say that I have been 2 years cut free. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it every once in a while. I'm glad someone brought this up.

[FreeSpeak]

I am not immune to DMT but it only kicks in with me as a response to shock and in place of pain.. like a car wreck/impact kind of TRAUMA. I don't go looking for things like that by any means.

HOWEVER in fist-fights and brawls in my younger years, I noticed that getting hit would just make me more CLEAR so that I could hit back better and even calculate my angles and intensities toward my opponent. Fight Club anyone?

I am a physcally big person and strong as well... I always made it a point to just stop the fight rater than win it. Nonetheless, the pain seems to be delayed somehow or just blocked by the DMT response to shock.

I doubth that I could get into cutting but it's easy to see that there is a challenge/response pain/pleasure experience on a very personal level.

No offense to anyone but it really seems to be a parallel to masturbation.

♥

[Balance]

Hooray for emo kids everywhere and anywhere!

*"I'm not okay" the song, is heard in every direction.

OMG! I love that song! *blasts stereo and dances around to it* but I am not emo. I do not have long enough hair to cover an eye, I do not wear skin tight clothes, and I don't cry, whine, or lash out at others.

Very good controversial topic to bring up. I'm proud to say that I have been 2 years cut free. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to do that every once in a while. I'm glad someone brought this up.

Thanks! I believe that since we were prone to it in the first place, we never truly get rid of it. It's a part of who we are, like it or not. But I thought I should bring this up because I believe that a lot of people do it but believe that they are alone. I want them to know that they are not. there are people here like them, myself being one of them.

[Balance]

I am not immune to DMT but it only kicks in with me as a response to shock and in place of pain.. like a car wreck/impact kind of TRAUMA. I don't go looking for things like that by any means.

HOWEVER in fist-fights and brawls in my younger years, I noticed that getting hit would just make me more CLEAR so that I could hit back better and even calculate my angles and intensities toward my opponent. Fight Club anyone?

I am a physcally big person and strong as well... I always made it a point to just stop the fight rater than win it. Nonetheless, the pain seems to be delayed somehow or just blocked by the DMT response to shock.

I doubth that I could get into cutting but it's easy to see that there is a challenge/response pain/pleasure experience on a very personal level.

No offense to anyone but it really seems to be a parallel to masturbation.

♥

*turns redder than a tomato*oh mah god, i can't believe i'm replying to this but... I suppose you're right...which would explain why i do it 5 times at least a day to feel some relief.