Anyone else have trouble expressing romantic love?

[Michael Unbreakable]

I've felt this way for years and I feel this way tonight as I type these words, but do any of you other star seeds feel as though our souls are unable to express their deepest capacity of love through these earthen languages? It's as if no other can comprehend the way we do things when in love, the way we try to express love...

I have, for years, written poetry.. and in these compositions, one mere sentence understood by someone else would be drawn out into lengthy forms of written art. I have been yearning for so long to find someone who just fills the void that I feel, this incessant need to have someone who understands the language of my soul, and I'm not sure of what I mean by that, but the terminology feels right.

I have these deep, profound emotions and feelings inside, and when I seek love and companionship, a very human thing to seek, I find such a hard time expressing my love. It's as if the romanticism here isn't the same as the one from where I'm from. I try to express love and show it in my own way, but I'm often told that I don't open up enough, or the right way, or that I should do this or that. I've had successful relationships, and I've had unsuccessful ones.

I have my suspicions, though. As I once told someone, "I feel as though my love isn't expressed in the same ways as its expressed here on earth. Here, people express it through body, through sexual desire, through physical means, through word, and body language... but from wherever I'm from, I feel as though love is expressed of the mind, the spirit, the soul.. it's something that doesn't need to be spoken, to be felt, but just.. known to that person.. a deeply profound feeling that one fathoms in the instance of that person's eyes meeting or their presence being known..."

Do any of you have these problems? I am a hopeless romantic X 500,000,000 and I guess I need to find some closure or even understanding with what is going on with my ability to express romantic love to those I am supposed to be tender with.

I don't much like sex, I've had relationships where I LOVED it, I've had purely intellectual/mature relationships, I've had semi-romantic ones.. I just, don't know. Has love been killed for me? Am I not having starseed/soul issues, but past baggage that is affecting me?

For some reason, this is just a feeling that originates in the pit of my soul... and I feel as though it's been the reason why love had never been shown to me as a young child/teen growing up. Like, my family/others felt that I was heartless or unable to show love, and so they sensed that, and with much spite, they acted out in retaliation?

And all of this begs the question: If certain starseeds feel this way, should they hold off and wait for a starseed to come along, one of their type, etc? Should I shun all those who don't feel the same ways that I do?

I've been dating someone for 4 months, and that person knows all about my pagan background, the starseed/indigo stuff, the trances I go through sometimes (this person has been present for a few)... this one doesn't judge me and finds it all very worthy of checking out.. and they are so sweet, kind, courteous, and romantic.. but I find that I don't feel any sparks and even though I enjoy romance... I don't enjoy theirs..

Is it me? Is it my soul? Is it everyone? Is it the shift that's been going on?

[Sontlux]

1. Don't over identify with the starseed thing. It'll get you in trouble.

2. I am like you, and I will bet we've lived similar lives. I feel we are more... polygamists. It's taken me a while to realize this, but it's also taken a while to realize I'm bi. We tend to remember a better way to live, as if we were designed to lives lives other then the ones we are living now. It's not cuz we are aliens, and can't adjust. It's because we were made perfectly. We really are supposed to love many people, to come and go more casually, and to love very intensely. I can hear your denial, but the truth lies within you.

I don't think you should break up with your girlfriend... but I think you should break up with your girlfriend. You will automatically rebel against anything that isn't a representation of your souls truth. The way your conducting this relationship is one of those things. She is a GREAT match for you, but how you are trying to match is wrong.

It is said we express and feel love from others in 4 different ways. Example, I am a physical lover, I express my love though touch. My sister is a acts lover, she expresses her love by the things she does for you.

[Michael Unbreakable]

And I am a gay lover, I express my love through men. LOL. Didn't sense that one coming if it were an asteroid travelling at 500,000 mph.

Jokes aside, I feel as though I sometimes don't give any chances due to my fear of getting hurt by those who have hurt me in the past. It's not that I feel like I can't adapt, I feel as though they can't adapt. There's a thread on ehre about indigo-indigo relationships and how most indigos prefer ones with other indigos. I really feel as though this may be my issue.

There's a lot to learn about having come from another galaxy and there is also a lot to learn about where we all come from and what we're made up of. I think most here are pretty set in what they know as truth or falsehood. I'm not certain if that's healthy or not, but it's all we've got, and we have to go with something. Keen investigators stay open, but they definitely have leads...

[Amethyst]

"Anyone else have trouble expressing romantic love?"

Yes, I do...I can feel a lot of love, but not express it, neary as much as I feel it, in certain ways...(romantically/sexually)...

But, if I meet someone right for me, than perhaps I will express love, in these ways, more with him...(even though I will be more shy with him, at first, and then get less shy, the more time we spend togeher)...

[White Willow]

Michael, that is how I feel, too. I had a relationship years ago with someone I have always believed is also an Indigo. We were totally on the same frequency. We just knew what the other was thinking, we just 'got' each other. He has told me that he has never been happy with any other woman because she just wasn't me. Likewise, I have never found that connection again with any of the Gaias I have since been with. I think that's a simplified way of saying the connection with Gaias tends (yes, there are exceptions) to be far more ... superficial for lack of a better word. The depth and intensity with another Indigo is just far more satisfying, IMHO. My DH shows his love in the limited ways he can. He calls me from work every day on his breaks just to show that he's thinking of me. He buys me a treat most times he goes to the store. But he just doesn't have the depth in him to look me deep in the eyes with a look that says, "I love you" in a more meaningful way than any words can express. I have had to lower my expectations. I just feel emotions and feelings so strongly and so deeply in a way that very few people I have ever met can understand. I agree with your comment that [I]they[I] can't adapt. I don't think any of us can tell you whether or not to end your relationship, only you can decide what's right for you.

I disagree with Sontlux about being polygamist. Very much so, in fact. We are living a human existence right now, whether we like it or not. As a human, we (especially women) need to feel loved and cherished. We need to feel like we are the most special person in the world, at least to one person. Men and women both need to feel that no matter what, that someone will be in their corner, cheering for them. That can't happen if partners are just coming and going in our lives. A stable life in a stable relationship is a much less stressful life (generally) and that allows us more time and energy to work on our personal development than a life with our energies being scattered and exhausted since new relationships require a lot more energy, IMHO.

[WallFlowerBee]

I can relate. Well, I've always had trouble saying 'I love you.' I feel people on earth just toss that around. I do love deeply though and have always wished that people could feel how much love I have for them telepathically...

[Ayin444]

I know exactly what you mean. I am extremely picky about who I will allow to touch me, and there have been very few who have. If I don't feel that something extra in them, I have less than no interest at all in anything about them. The man I'm with right now is wonderful, for the most part. He's very open and he gets me on a level that I never thought I'd find. He lets me be me, even when I act not exactly human lol he is very precious to me. One of the main reasons is, I don't have to use clumsy, cumbersome, heavy, archaic verbal speech to communicate with him intimately. Human language seriously just pisses me off. What a failure of a system. Ugh. Anyway...it is very difficult for me to communicate - really, truly communicate - with about 99% of the human beings on this planet. Animals I have no problems with, communication happens through images, symbols and feelings. How much easier would it be here if all these dang oh-so-superior beings would learn to use just a little bit more of their puny freaking brains. DNA based communication would negate the need for all these words in all these languages, that take so much effort to say so little, that usually means absolutely nothing. I WANT OUT OF HERE!!!!!

OK, I got off track...point is, I completely agree. I feel your understanding of a higher form of communication swelling outward, no words needed. I never did get much out of sex or any type of physical acts until I met the one I'm with now. I hated to be touched. I find it makes all the difference in this world to be connected with someone with whom you don't have to rely on everything human to be around. I think he is a starseed, just doesn't know it. He is at least an Indigo IMO, but whatever he is, I'm thankful for him. He's just human enough to help me keep in perspective that they are not all horrible beasts (just most of them), and that we are here for a purpose. Without him I'd probably be a hermit on a mountaintop somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where humans and their ridiculous ways can't get their greedy, selfish, destructive hands on me.

I'm in a very anti-human mood lately. I apologize.

[silvercharm]

It's funny, but i guess i haven't fall in love yet..
Every time i think there's a guy who has brain and attractive, not long from that...he looks dumb in my eyes.
hahahaha... i guess my standard is too high.
damn..why can't i find a real smart guy with heart??



PS : This is my #1,221 post!!

[Jishnu Ray Chowdhury]

i am expressionless.

[Ai Kyoo Sun]

u will see what u want to see usually

[Michael Unbreakable]

Everything is so simple... lol This I posted a year ago.. had no idea people were still reading my emotional babble. So much has changed.. and I've gotten closer and more tender with him... though we fight and argue here and there lol. I've actually gotten him to try ritual with me a few times, though I haven't yet gotten him to meditate. My biggest thing is that I do kiss him now, I do cuddle, and I express my love sometimes, but I still don't like being touched without my permission.

I really am grateful for him being in my life. He is a great person and sometimes we argue and get mean, but who doesn't act that way? Any other way is forced pretend happiness, and very unhealthy.

[JeorneQyu]

Any other way is forced pretend happiness, and very unhealthy.

in My case back then, I forced My Self to pretend "Love" My Ex, wasn't just unhealthy but also such a burden. She was the first GF that I had in this current life so with way below average physical appearance and several handicap taht I have plus things like respect, afraid, worry, grateful that made Me did that. I knew it won't work, My HS and Guardian warned Me so many times, but that time I still struggled with overwhelming empathy and My Energy plus I needed Friend so I just ignored.

Now when I see My Self at that time, overall I did horrible job and made very unfavor decision to help Me through the transition, I had several option but I missed it (actually ignored it). During that time I found bit hard to said "I Love You" back to Her cz I knew that I didn't, sexual thing I had chance to ended My Virginity but I didn't cz I didn't feel so attracted to it or not too interested Me, even bit disgusted Me when We were kissing (I wanna throw up, but had to hold it cz didn't wannna offended Her) barely couldn't hold Her hand only with same reason "didn't wanna offended Her so I had to once on a while.

I do have way to express My Feeling, owh I very good at that, but don't have to give or express only to one Human, cz There are Plant and Animal which ready to receive Our Love.

[silvercharm]

in My case back then, I forced My Self to pretend "Love" My Ex, wasn't just unhealthy but also such a burden..

T_T

i know how you feel T_T

[joel]

Root of the problem is wrong society. If you have a feeling of Home with you everywhere you go, your perception towards love, romance and sex changes greatly. It becomes pure joy without negative feelings. Right now everything is survival, money, competition and thinking of future, which means creating home and family. This all kills love, relationships, sex and all that. Why it is like that - because women are very very insecure in this society. And men have created it this way. Also there is not a man to blame, but those manipulators and all that. Women were abused, raped and done all other bad stuff, this made them insecure. More insecure than man in this society. This all kills every love you can imagine. Man's actual job is to create, women's job is to adjust the created. And man's main responsibility is to create a safe society for his women and children. This way women feel more safe and their expression of love, sex and all that changes. Right now relationships just don't work and never will, if money-based society is not changed.
So, I recommend - don't get too comfortable in relationship, because you may know and remember what real love is (unconditional and sharing), but women by they'r insecurity just can't live like that. They cling and hold you too much.
What women actually need, is divine love through sex. That is the real expression of love women really seek. Right now they want you'r ego who can protect you, and she has forgotten the divine sex, which basically means sex through love. If man learn to give woman all that, women will be happy and they actually don't need you (as ego), they only need your love. Unconditional and sharing. But it can only be given when society is safe for women. There is needed a Home-feeling. Right now there is no home for anyone. Home is basically money. But if home is the nature, the planet and it's fruits, we will feel secure and our expression of sex and love unites.

I have read a lot of stuff regarding this, but this is the one I could remember to find:
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sou...ng_making_love

[silvercharm]

What women actually need, is divine love through sex. That is the real expression of love women really seek. Right now they want you'r ego who can protect you, and she has forgotten the divine sex, which basically means sex through love. If man learn to give woman all that, women will be happy and they actually don't need you (as ego), they only need your love. Unconditional and sharing.

geez, thanks!!
you're awesome!!!
that's why i haven't falling in love yet until now..
instead of how hard to find a guy with brain and heart, i want that divine love!!

[Purplelight666]

Hi Joel…It is not my intention to cause offence nor stir provocative debate or argument….
Not sure how old you are but that’s highly cynical and a little blasé view, if you are a older adult, I’m sorry but you certainly have some ‘issues’…I am female I am not insecure by any stretch of the imagination, I certainly do not require any mans ego, What is required is a ‘personality’ that closely matches or is similar with differences to create balance, most women would agree with this. I am in such a relationship, I am fortunate that we have very rarely argued, some debates which always end amicably with either of us agreeing to disagree, each respecting the other. My husband and I are ‘soul mates’ and there are others ‘people’ out there who also, strangely have very good secure relationships with ‘unconditional and sharing’ love and it is actually what we want and require, who also would inform you that we ‘women’ are far from insecure…Love is very much ‘alive and well’ within the vast majority of people and yeah if your guy is a sex god, all the better. Sex and love has already united with most, its not that which the world lacks.
Men as a whole could be accused of suffering from insecurities as well, both parties, are here to create, I suppose if you want to argue the point ‘women’ in reality are the beholders of ‘create’ and ‘nurture’ and thus are also a major contributor to the ‘ideal’ safe society but in reality it is the whole of ‘humanities’ that is insecure and society is out of control with little or no direction.

Ideal society will in all probability never be achievable by the ‘human’ species as whole, because it has an innate ‘flaw’ and we all know what that is……

But nether the less Joel, you are entitled to your opinion even if it is ‘wrong’ or at the very least a little misled/ misinformed.


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I am being cynical and sceptical, but there is no such thing as the ‘ideal’ world and it will never happen, we just have to make do and mend…Unity of all things is not for ‘people’ it may be within its grasp, but it will never reach it.
But that's just my opinion

[CrazyIQ]

I can express love in certain ways like hugs or good deeds I do for the people I love or telepahtically, but for some reason I was always kinda uncomfortable saying "I love you" and similar words...

[PTA Mom]

I love your personality CrazyIQ

[CrazyIQ]

I love your personality CrazyIQ

lol thanks...why do you love my personality?

[luciangus]

i am expressionless.

me too, to everything, except real love

ever since i met my soulmate, contrary to every other situations, i felt an amazingly ease to express my feeling, even though it should have been hard because we were in some odd social positioning, but that's when my life changed because i found the thing that i most loved to do. It makes my heart really happy when i can show my love to him, and it's when i do it that i feel my real "i".
almost ten years later and i feel exactly the same. i feel the best when i decide to write or do something romantic to him, my heart flows entirely to it by itself, i don't make any effort. this is what i'm supposed to do, love and show it. is my inspiration, and it's what i live for..
besides that i am completely expressionless, like jishnu said.