Daughter Not Listening At School!!

[indigo2112]

I’m really not sure if most children being born today are indigos…but I do know that (at least the ones that I am blessed with) all the kids in my class are extraordinary. I used this one particular boy just as an example. The kids that touch my heart the most are the ones that are labeled “behavior problems” and because of this I usually get most of these kids in my class. The thing is…I don’t usually see the “problem.” I see these kids as having different ways of thinking and learning…I don’t see them as problems in any way. My classroom is very hands-on, active, noisy and dynamic. I close my door and do it our way. The kids teach me how they need to learn and I try to keep up with them.

Are they all indigo? I’m not sure. Let me just tell you a bit about my babies this year.

I have one autistic girl who was tested as mildly mentally retarded. She can read words like authentic, percussion and attention, she counts to and identifies all of the numbers to 100, she puts together very complex patterns and she works the computer better then me…yet she does none of this while being tested lol…only in play. Oh! She also went up to a boy and placed her forehead on his forehead and said “ow!” This boy has brain cysts that give him migraine headaches.

I have one boy who can view any dance and match it almost perfectly. We had a group come to sing and dance about Character Counts. I bought the CD and was playing it during center time. This little boy was doing the dances that we saw from this group and he had only seen them one time. He is labeled “emotionally disturbed.”

One little girl cannot tell me the main character, plot, or retell a story but she can tell me how all of the characters in the book were feeling and why they were feeling that.

There is one girl who is completely non-verbal but she expresses herself very well through the beautiful drawings that she does.

One little boy is completely tuned in emotionally. He lets me know the emotional well being of my class and even explains why they are feeling this way. He led me to ask some very important questions of a little girl in my class and that led to calling CPS. This little one is also very tuned in to how I am feeling. I was having a very stressful week. I try very hard to not let any of my kids know when I’m having a bad day but nothing gets past this one. He shouted, “Ok…teacher needs a group hug!” and they all came to hug me.

I could go on but I won’t.

Indigo…maybe. Special…most defiantly.

Thank you for opening up a reason to talk about my kids. They are a big part of who I am and who I am becoming.


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My classroom is not the general type of classroom. My kids are never sitting at their desks with their hands neatly folded in their laps. They are rarely all doing the same thing at the same time. Administrators come into my class room and have little heart attacks. They tell me what I am doing wrong and I listen and then go and do it my way anyway. What can they do? I’m tenured lol. My new principal is great! She lets me do whatever I want…as long as my test scores stay way up.

Ok…now I’ll stop. Sorry for going off on a tangent.

Much love,
Annette

God bless you and our/your children. As one of my favorite bands KMFDM says 'rip the system' only you are doing it in a very loving way, thank you!!! Go off on as many tangents as you need to dear one! The U.S. school system needs to hear these (administrators, grrr, they sound like gov't employees-and in some cases they are ones, grrr again). I know how bad the U.S. school system is, not as a whole as I'm sure there are teachers such as your self out there-but in particular was-as I went through it many years ago. Annette, please tell us more details. Hopefully word will get around about how to do things right. Bless you and your new principal! Thank you.

[Annette]

Sorry for killing the mood of this thread with that last post. The little girl is fine. She moved in with an aunt :-).

[Kwimzie]

Great story Annette,
Chatted to my daughters teacher after school today. She explained she wasn't not listening as a means to annoy or misbehave she said she is so busy wanting to know what is going on everywhere else and being distracted I guess.

I think those are all great suggestions I would add one more piece.

Ask her what makes it hard to listen sometimes and ask if it is different reasons in different situations. Part of what you are also doing is building her own self awareness so that she is able to be a good team player (or decide she disagrees with the team) but at least to have the ability to articulate the choice and why she made it. I have a son a little older than her and sometimes he is daydreaming, sometimes he is focused else where and sometimes he is just plain ignoring. They are both beautiful!

sorry, i feel pulled to add.
be careful of your disposition when you ask your daughter what's going on in class. When kids seek to annoy adults, they do so by reading your disposition. If you think she is choosing not to listen as a means to annoy the teacher, then ask your daughter if that is true. I mean, as long as your daughter dosnt intend to annoy YOU, I would imagine she will tell you truthfully. Despite the fact your daughter is an indigo, it gives her no right to be disrespectful, and you need to express that to her. but before that, ask what her conflict is with the teacher. It may be that she is just having problems with the students, and expresses her annoyance with the teacher. I used to do that. (who knows why.) Anyway, just as indigo's dont like to be lied to, they don't like to be told theyre wrong witout reason. So, come to her terms and ask what's going on in class. If she is being deliberately negative in class, figure out her reason why. then explain to her why it isnt good for her to act that way. she may always be hardheaded, but she will prefer reason to simply being told she is wrong. and try to sympathise with her if you can. let her know youre on her side.

so, you probably already knew all that, sorry if that was useless. lol.
just felt pulled to answer

[flyingkittycat]

I disagree, it does teach you a lot if you fit in..... I turned out pretty educated but I grew up in New Zealand.... I am 39... I do know what you are trying to say however and that is why I am concerned and want to help my daughter at 6 ...
Since the beginning of her school year the teacher has said she is fantastic right on track etc.. a pleasure. She went to a Montessori preschool for three years and did her kindergarten year there. She loved it and did great. No issues at all However last two weeks she decided she was done and was more interested at being a first grader. She likes to be ahead of herself.
She has been in a ski program, 6 weeks all day on Saturdays. Again listening has been a concern. Her coach said she will just walk off in the lodge ( I think she was looking for her Dad) get on the lift when she wants.. stuff like that.

Thanks for all your input. I really appreciate it and this site.

Jill

Montessori school might be what she likes. School can be harsh if you don't fit in and often will turn a blind eye if people are mean to you for not fitting in and may tell you to put your child on drugs.

If you must keep her in that school then you will have to coach her at home and teach the importance of listening. Also quiz her on what she learned in class. Set up rewards for listening in class and paying attention.

People often got the impression I was not paying attention because I would daydream alot or go off into my own world but I was listening.

Conformist schools are alot harsher and will bring up all of these negative things about your child if she is out of place or not exactly like the other kids where as montessori schools have a more tolerant and understanding approach.

[alexis224]

Spank her butt! Thats what my mom did to me and it worked well. I was "bad" everyday at kindergarten and the beginning of 1st grade, my teachers loved me as well but everyday they would tell my parents I was bad (because they loved me and wanted me to change my ways) and so everyday I would go straight to my room when my mom picked me up and get a spaken on my bottom. 3 smacks. Then my mom would leave me in my room until I stopped crying and then she would give me a nice warm bath ahha. It works after awhile

[h0bby1]

ho it is probably just the school that do not listen to her