this is me this is hw i feel

[vrica]

im vrica im 21, frm delhi..its in india for ppl in big ass rich countries who might hav nt heard of new delhi. im an indigo child well m nt a child nemore.i havnt gotten d color of my aura checked or nethin but im hopin to god tht i am 1.after i was told about the new kids n their traits it made my life n everything iv felt for so long fall into place.i feel alone in my thoughts n in my judgements its a horribl feeling as u may kno. i feel like ppl dont cater to my feelings n my perceptions .i basically feel totaly unappreiciated kinda numb n energetic at d same time. so wat i do is i stand out n never fit in newhere n il tel u y bcz if u need 2 survive u need 2 take shit frm ppl n pretend n well i cnt do tht.i hav mental hang ups moody bt thts jus me .i feel down a lot n i try to get thse feelins n thots outa my head but they keep cumin back. i feel tired like d world has no glory for me.these may b depression symptoms but i aint deppresed cz i keep psychin myself to think pleasant thoughts.i beliv tht d human race is selfish n heartless..so i keep fallin bk dwn.hw many times can i bounce back?every sentence of mine starts wd 'i feel' n i think thts strange .sensitivity isnt an admirable trait in this world cz ppl wil crush u n eat u up..m scared of all pain n d sight of blood.m lazy all i do is compare everythin n pass judgement i got clear views on wat d world shud b lik.my body feels alien to me.my movements r deliberate.im tired of all confusion all the time.i need to rise.

[defuzz]

welcome
lets blossom

[sshenry]

Welcome to IS

[LadyElement]

Namaste Vrica dear

*huge hugs to you*welcome aboard Love

Love and Hugs angel
Mia

[Taylor90sc]

vrica, i felt the same way since i've started elementary school when i was but a small child... ive felt that way this whole time up til even now (though not as severe)... a lot of times everything just felt dark and lonely. i didnt have any friends until i got up to the sixth grade, be he didnt even go to the same school i did... so i know what your going through... as far as feeling "alien"... you know, i never quite understood why society is the way it is, and why people do certain things... in sense, i feel quite separate and diverse from most people. i never quite understood why humans act or feel the way they do... some of it just doesnt make sense to me... and some of my beliefs (morals/religious/daily things/general) dont make sense to them...

[itzamna]

im vrica im 20, im frm delhi..its in india for ppl in big ass rich countries who might hav nt heard of new delhi. im an indigo child at least thts wat i believ n hope i am.i havnt gotten d color of my aura checked or nethin but im hopin to god at least i believ im an indigo child.after i was told about the new kids n their traits it made my life n everything iv felt for so long fall into place.i feel alone in my thoughts n in my judgements its a horribl feeling as u may kno. i feel like ppl dont cater to my feelings n my perceptions .i basically feel ignored n unappreiciated. so wat i do is i stand out n never fit in newhere.i constantly try to get thse feelins n thots outa my head but they keep creepin back. i feel tired like d world has no glory for me.these may b depression symptoms but i aint deppresed cz i keep psychin myself to think pleasant thoughts.d world keeps puttin me down..hw many times can i bounce back?every sentence of mine starts wd i feel.m emotionaly sensitive.scared of pain n d sight of blood.m lazy all i do is compare my life n pass judgement i got clear views on wat d world shud b.my body feels alien to me.my movements r deliberate.i want company n ppl to share my feelings of confusion

hello and welcome!

your name means "i found" in greek

[Optimystic]

I'm from Delhi..its in India for people in big ass rich countries who might have not heard of new delhi.

I like you already

[leila]

ola
in our big ass country there are many poor people, i dont know if you know this....i am a very poor person who lives in a big ass stupid country full of all sorts of people. imaginary lines in the sand anyway, these countries that everyone thinks are real. maybe all the countries should belong to the trees, they seem the smartest beings, just hang out, full of being here nowness.....the trees!
i live in america, which is everyones favorite place to hate seems like....there are lots of cool people here, and i live on the west coast which is a nice place with many mountains streams forests and lots of very beautiful people....some of them are very nice, every once in a while you even meet a rich one who's very nice, suprising but true.
i am an artist and havent worked a regular job for most of eight years. when i worked a regular job i was not making enough money to really live on here. so i gave up jobs and now i dont have much money but i love what i do and findother ways of getting by....i make a very small income from my art, which took me years and years to cultivate the skills to do....i can barely sell my crafts for what they are worth because people in other countries undervalue their work and sell it very cheaply for export...they dont have as high of a cost of living.
i have shit in a hole in the ground, i have eaten food from dumpsters, i have built houses out of scrap materials which are not so perfect looking but which poor people are happy for...i realize that even with how poor i am because i can live on leftovers from this big ass rich country, my way of living is better than even a lot of people in the world...anyway dont mean to sound, o gosh anything weird, just pointing out that even big ass rich countries have poor people living in them. and i dont have very much control of my stupid government, nor will they recognize my opinions or those of the people who are here fighting for the trees by sitting in them and not letting them cut them down, or protesting on the streets and getting arrested.among many other things....

but anyway, i bet new delhi is a wonderful place, someday pretty sure i will go there.india is defintely on my list of places to see.

[Calibas]

My heart goes out to you Vrica.

There's a light at the end of your tunnel.

[Taylor90sc]

leila, its amazing what you went through. i find it difficult to live a life like you have. may you prosper from you hard work.

[leila]

hmm yeah it is difficult, but i find it even more difficult to give up and just get a job.
so no one ever said it would be easy. i think soon i'll come up with a better plan...i've lived on many communes, unfortunately dealt with lots of drama, sometimes and lots of good times to.... thats the grand plan...so?
well working on it.

i've got this idea of having a leave me alone commune. you know just real simple, everyone gets their own space, no entitlement issues, not too much immeshment. i like my space and i like for things to be simple and not sit in hours and hours of communal bs.
yeah working on it.

[*~i GlOw 0F iNdIgO~*]

welcome vrica, feel free to share whatever you want =]

<3
Alanna

[leila]

o yes and the i feel thing..."everything i say starts with i feel" you wrote
thats relates to astrological sign of cancer, the moon and is a very gentle sweet sign. actually a lot of what you wrote seems very lunar....sensitive changing emotional.....a cancer person changes their mood like every few hours....the moon is in cancer right now actually
in india astrology is different...jyotish.... but i would bet that you have some cancer/moon energies.

[Elleke]

Aloha you!
May the light be with you