Confused and Twitchy

[Deus ex Machina]

well i guess this is the best place to say hello so with further "adeu"

",allo all"

i've been checking out sites along these lines for a long time and when i saw this place i guess it all just kind of "clicked" and i've decided to join so this is my formal introduction.

im not a first generation indigo by any means being only twenty one years of age and as such there's a lot of ideals floating around trying to preach that there way is "the way" and im just fed up with everybody and his dog trying to tell me that they have the answer to all my question, i'm a big believer in strength drawn from within but am not adverse to helping hands every now and then pointing a direction and then allowing me to make the final decision.

i've done some studying into many different occult practices and religions as well as an advanced lay-mans understanding of Psychology,Sociology, and just about everything else i can get my hands on, not trying to say im some kind of genius but for the most part if i don't compleatly understand something i can usually make an educated hypothosis and more than likely will do some form of research on the subject to better understand it, i'm what some would call a life long student, what i would call a one man think tank, so i'm willing and eager to partake on any topic you can think of and more than likely can bring more than one view point to the table.

i've always felt like there was something waiting for me something big, and i mean "BIG" not trying to say i'm gonna be some kind of meshia just that whatever is coming is going to mean infinitally more to me then the petty squabling's of the rest of the human race. the main problem i'm facing is time, i've felt like i was waiting for it as far back as i can remember and it's not going well, i've been looking in some odd places for my path but can't seem to find it, everytime i think i'm getting close i realise i'm no closer then when i was a child and it's all starting to weigh on my psychie.

i feel like im slowly losing my mind and no one really understands what it's like, everyday i wonder what i could be doing to take a step in the right direction but i keep coming up with a blank, my mind wanders like a drunk on a day pass, i'm emotionally unstable and go through outbursts were i just freak over the smallest things like someone i don't know looking at me to long and other completly irrelavent events. in a way i guess this is all my left handed way of looking for help someone to talk to maybe even someone who feels the same way i do.

[Calibas]

Go easy on yourself. Let go. Give yourself a break. I think all the answers to your questions are right in front of you, but you're too caught up in the act of searching to see them. Your searching for your own path, and yet you're looking outside of yourself. Do you see the contradiction?

[Rue]

Go easy on yourself. Let go. Give yourself a break. I think all the answers to your questions are right in front of you, but you're too caught up in the act of searching to see them. Your searching for your own path, and yet you're looking outside of yourself. Do you see the contradiction?

will , i look forward to seeing you in colorado.

[Zen]

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

[sshenry]

Friend, I lost my mind a long time ago - it was the best thing that ever happened to me

Welcome to IS

[Calibas]

will , i look forward to seeing you in colorado.

Ditto

[Optimystic]

Are you moving to Colorado too?

[Optimystic]

So there's this archipelago of islands, and a bunch of people shipwrecked on them. Everybody's got an island to themselves. And everybody's feeling quite shitty and isolated and alone, convinced they're the only one left in this part of the world.

If they just built a 'frickin raft, they'd find that they were anything BUT alone, and be well on their way to ending the rather shitty state of things. Point of fact my friend: no one is alone, and no one is an island.

Welcome to the Desert of The Real.