What is better: passive aggresion, or direct aggresion?

[Amethyst]

There are different types of how people experience, feel, act, aggressively. Which is better, passive aggression, or direct aggression?

Versions Of Violence, Alanis Morissette

Coercing or leaving
Shutting down and punishing
Running from rooms, defending
Withholding, justifying

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared


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Diagnosing, analyzing
Unsolicited advice
Explaining and controlling,
Judging opining and meddling

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared

This labeling
This pointing
this sensitive's unraveling
This sting I've been ignoring
I feel it way down way down

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared

[viamedia]

Whats more effective, defense or offense?

[Grandma Lola]

I believe that anything direct is better than hidden so of course I would prefer someone be outwardly and directly agressive with me rather than playing any kind of games.But it seems that I am in the minority on that....most people I have known would prefer not to know the truth and escape the feelings that it produces.

[pebble]

I would rather be direct, and prefer the same from others.

[seamist]

What is better: passive aggresion, or direct aggresion?

Neither
........

If someone thou is going to get aggressive with me thou, Id much prefer it to be direct aggression so one knows exactly what is going on and can work to fix things.

[Anarchitect]

there are maybe better alternatives =)

[SecretAgentMan]

If someone is weaker and smaller than you try the direct approach and if it's mike tyson be passive agressive but in a nice way

[Anarchitect]

If someone is weaker and smaller than you try the direct approach and if it's mike tyson be passive agressive but in a nice way

that's a bit coward

[SecretAgentMan]

It's a fact of life

[sean keyes]

we all in a split second can tell if we can or cant take on a person this is just how we are built

for example, years ago i used to be like a demon if i was woke suddenly as it felt like my body was being dragged into my body very rapidly. anyhow i went to see someone for it as i did not like the reaction i was giving.

what he told me is everyone in a split second judges if they can take or not the person or more importantly if they will get awayy with it.

so he said to me, if a 23 stone rugby player came in a woke you suddenly, would you go mad,
"of course not as he would beat the crap out of you "

he told me to picture a rugby player every time i,m woke since,

that s over 4 years ago and its a fact, i dont wake up annoyed, so id have to agree with sam,

we judge our battles well

[Anarchitect]

it is a bit corrupt way of thinking that if someone his bigger than you, then you shut up, and it is not because he is 23 stone that he has no brain and that he would beat you up because you aer mad at being woke up, generally bigger person are also more stable =) but fear to be beaten up can be a powerfull repressor =) the most used all over the planet =)

[SecretAgentMan]

We don't all have the judo training lol

[SecretAgentMan]

But it's like the difference between how you approach your boss than with co workers and friends. It kind of depends on the situation and what's at stake and to measure the pros and cons of each action.

[climbing]

They've done studies on different behavior models within the workplace and what not, and direct aggression was measured to get the person what they want more effectively than passive aggression... so direct aggression is "better" in the sense that an aggressive person gets what they are after more than a passive aggressive person or a passive person. But an assertive behavior model is the best way to get what you want.

[Grandma Lola]

I never talked any differently to my boss than I did to my co workers....

Well....maybe I did a little, I would tell my boss off more often than I told my co workers off

[SecretAgentMan]

You should try a military job lol

[Grandma Lola]

Hardly!.....

[lillies1978]

I'd say to each their own ...

For some it's easy to be direct for others it isn't ... passive aggressive communication tends to take a it more finesse imo; passive aggressive people tend to think before the talk/write (to varying degrees lol).

[pebble]

A passive agressive moment of mine...
I was working at an upscale bistro in California and the owner was a grade A snob. She said something that pissed me off so I snuck to her house and 'white trashed' her lawn....gnomes, flamingoes kinda stuff...all over her front yard...she was so mortified she called the cops ranting about her yard being 'ruined' and wanted the culprit found and charged with vandalism and defamation of character. She was further mortified when the cops couldn't understand her outrage and laughed instead. Made me feel better....bad pebble!=P

[Dabbs]

I harbor the passive aggressive gene inside of me. Big time. As to which is better? For me it's passive aggressive. I don't like to get my hands dirty.