How do you mend a broken heart?

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" wrote:Flame, I think that you know I love you and because of that I really need to point out your words to you.

You thought she was the prettiest when you were together but now...not so much..

And you were "willing" to marry her...

Those 2 statements stopped me when I was reading them...I'm just saying...maybe this wasn't the girl for you and you were trying hard to make her be the girl for you.

When you are so in love with someone that you truly want to spend the REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE with her...there is no one more beautiful...even if she is not so cute...lol your eyes cannot see it...

And you are not willing to marry her...you love her so much that you breathe her...you inhale her every movement....you can't wait to spend the rest of each and every day with her.

don't dismiss this totally even if it makes you angry...I believe there is truth in it...love you Flame


Does make me a little angry...but I don't look at it the same way as you. I find it hard to believe in a woman portrayed in that fantasy of words in which you described her to be. I wanted to marry her, we spoke of it, she told me yes many times over; I'm not saying she's ugly cause we aren't together, you'd stand in her in front of me and I'll tell you everything I love about her, but if I need to move on she cannot be on that pedestal. I've knocked her off her pegs, for my own sake.
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FlamingArrow
 
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" wrote:Fair enough :P.

It's good that you can move on. Just don't think of hurting her back. Let it go.


I can't hurt her, she left me, you know how it is, the one that leaves doesn't get phased.
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FlamingArrow
 
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" wrote:Does make me a little angry...but I don't look at it the same way as you. I find it hard to believe in a woman portrayed in that fantasy of words in which you described her to be. I wanted to marry her, we spoke of it, she told me yes many times over; I'm not saying she's ugly cause we aren't together, you'd stand in her in front of me and I'll tell you everything I love about her, but if I need to move on she cannot be on that pedestal. I've knocked her off her pegs, for my own sake.



I totally understand what you said. I just don't want you to feel that you have lost the love of your life because it doesn't seem as if she is...I'm glad that you can distance her from your feelings...that's the beginning of this process. I just wanted you to understand honey that there are so many things ahead of you that you have absolutely no idea even exist yet...this was just one stop in your life.
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Grandma Lola
 
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" wrote:I totally understand what you said. I just don't want you to feel that you have lost the love of your life because it doesn't seem as if she is...I'm glad that you can distance her from your feelings...that's the beginning of this process. I just wanted you to understand honey that there are so many things ahead of you that you have absolutely no idea even exist yet...this was just one stop in your life.


Yes you're right, what makes me sad is that she COULD have been the love of my life. I would have been happy for life if we would have succeeded in working things out and never have felt like I was missing something. Now that she's gone I know she will never be it.
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baby, if she were the one...the universe would have moved heaven and hell to make it happen...I promise.

I'm giving you big strong grandma hugs right now...Love you Flame
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I just don't want to spend my life with my hopes up of meeting "the one". Experience has kind of removed ideological thinking a bit from my perspective. I just want something that works. I don't see marriage as a perfect picture, real love to me is sticking through to see the end together, it won't be perfect all the time, but it'll do.
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Lola hit it on the head FA, everything that happens to you is the best possible thing that could happen to you. You may not be able to see that right now - you may not understand why at this particular moment in time -but tell it to yourself, believe it, because it's true.
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" wrote:Lola hit it on the head FA, everything that happens to you is the best possible thing that could happen to you. You may not be able to see that right now - you may not understand why at this particular moment in time -but tell it to yourself, believe it, because it's true.


I believe it, I do. There are times when I'm with you guys 100%, but sometimes memories trigger and I'll have to release some emotions for a while. It's not easy when I fall, but when I get back up I can see the future and it looks nice.
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FlamingArrow
 
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You're going to be fine FA - better than fine actually. But you need hugs all the same methinks *hugs*
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" wrote:You're going to be fine FA - better than fine actually. But you need hugs all the same methinks *hugs*


Can't be overabundant with those
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FlamingArrow
 
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" wrote:I just don't want to spend my life with my hopes up of meeting "the one". Experience has kind of removed ideological thinking a bit from my perspective. I just want something that works. I don't see marriage as a perfect picture, real love to me is sticking through to see the end together, it won't be perfect all the time, but it'll do.


* shudders to think that only one will taste the delights of you!*

Someone as decidedly enchanting as you should be shared with many. How selfish that only one woman should frolic in the happy lands of FlamingArrow. Why hoard your talents, giving crumbs of yourself to a single female when you could be the extravagant banquet of love you know you are for the many women with varied and interesting appetites.
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Indigo Dog
 
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Kids listen up ......crush the heart and pay dearly...........your not listening.!!! I said emotions go for the emotions .....that is the best weapon ....and if your really an indigo .......make it happen.........you can.......not unless your guide tells you this way .... go this way.........and ya better listen to them......

Its not prettier.... Its an idea of ..... what does she have that I dont ....? Curious? You can get the ugly girl or guy and watch em flip out.....then the others will agree.......what kind of heart you have? LOL

P.S if your young let it go when you meet your match you will know it.....for now its learning time....
Windlift
 
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" wrote:* shudders to think that only one will taste the delights of you!*

Someone as decidedly enchanting as you should be shared with many. How selfish that only one woman should frolic in the happy lands of FlamingArrow. Why hoard your talents, giving crumbs of yourself to a single female when you could be the extravagant banquet of love you know you are for the many women with varied and interesting appetites.


Haha, I love your responses indigo.

Funny enough, I've been meeting a surge of new people as of late, and I truly am just having fun and I am sharing myself : p

Today has been a great day.

And I'm no meteorologist, but I'm pretty sure it's raining bitches. hahahaha
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FlamingArrow
 
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" wrote:Kids listen up ......crush the heart and pay dearly...........your not listening.!!! I said emotions go for the emotions .....that is the best weapon ....and if your really an indigo .......make it happen.........you can.......not unless your guide tells you this way .... go this way.........and ya better listen to them......

Its not prettier.... Its an idea of ..... what does she have that I dont ....? Curious? You can get the ugly girl or guy and watch em flip out.....then the others will agree.......what kind of heart you have? LOL

P.S if your young let it go when you meet your match you will know it.....for now its learning time....


You lost me up until the P.S.
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i am trying to focus my attention else where - enjoying nature , watching movies, working. i hope the pain will go away soon
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For your sake I will hide my feelings
Feelings perhaps more than you wish to see
Choosing in this life only what you are looking for
Hide my love for you
To protect myself too
Until I can learn to love beyond the borders of my heart
Watching you go
Letting my heart fix upon something new
There is no such thing as being happy all the time
As human
If one is experiencing life
Eating the passion from life, letting it run all over you
Letting the sand fill the space through your toes
But in this world when you feel the way I do
They call you crazy give you pills
And sometimes you’re glad they did
Just to get a rest from it all for a moment
And so for now, my love, I close the door
To my true heart
not let you see even how much you mean to me
Until I am strong enough to love beyond my heart space
And include you as you are
Unable to find me here loving you
For you
I am happy all the time (lie)
Where all is sweetness and light
So you can no longer touch my soul
Until I am strong enough to love beyond my heart space
Until I am strong enough to love beyond my heart space
Until I am strong enough to love beyond my heart space
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Tess
 
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I don't know. I went through a really screwed up seemingly pointless situation. All I am doing at this point is forgiving her and blessing her with love. Sometimes it's not as easy as other times. And as long as I continue to detach myself from the chaos, and connect to my upper self, I tend to have better thoughts and feelings come into me. All I can do is work on myself to clear out all the blockages and negativities. Somehow, my heart was broken before I even met her. I've gone through alot of crap in my past that I want to heal so that I may move forward, and draw in real abundance.

What I learned is that we draw circumstances into our lives that reflect what we believe about ourselves. So these circumstances will continue to repeat themselves in order to prove our false belief. Once we make the proper shift internally, it will immediately be reflected to us externally. This is all a miracle is. All we can do is try to figure out what is going on internally in order to make the proper corrections so that we don't need some really deadly experience in order to make the changes. All choices are based on constriction/expansion. Fear/love as they say in Conversations with God. My life is a direct reflection of exactly what I internally believe I deserve for myself. As long as I can connect to the truth that I am worthy of the best relationships with the best people, that is what will show up for me. Meanwhile, avoid blaming somebody who I completely influenced to treat me the way she did, and simply accept her for who she is without need for her to change. And send her blessings of love and good will.
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skillet
 
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#58

Mending a broken Heart

«  » by Tess
Mending a broken Heart

Wow its amazing what you said.

I have found the same thing too.

I was able to learn and practice some meditation helped me to discover the truth behind myself appearances so to speak. And basically, the same thing you are saying here,

I also saw that for me anyway this is an important step to make it clear my spiritual orientation/practice/meditation (not sure the right word exactly) is necessary for me as a sort of preordained path or guided path or higher self-guided path. (or all three!)

Not easy to stop thinking/let go mind/put attention elsewhere but i am still working on it and itis nice to know i know what I am working on anyway . xoxo

Thank you for being here with your words
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Tess
 
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I've repeated the same relationship experience over and over, and still don't understand why. If somebody knows why, that would be great!
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skillet
 
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" wrote:I've repeated the same relationship experience over and over, and still don't understand why. If somebody knows why, that would be great!


You have to ask yourself, what it is you want. Your perfect relationship. What would work, what wouldn't. If you see repeating patterns, forget about the person and move on. You have to accept yourself for who you are. I've always tried hard to change to be the person that my partner wants me to be, and I realized it will NEVER happen. You are who you are, and you have to find someone who will appreciate you for you. Me, I can be a little dominant sometime, and I've made the mistake of getting with women who just can't stand it, it's not my only quality I'm just making a point. So I decided to be honest about who I am with the people I meet, and wouldn't you believe it, I just met someone who likes the idea of a man like that...lol!

I'm not going to jump into anything anytime soon, but it just made me realize that I don't need to change. There's nothing "wrong" with me. There's only wrong circumstances with the wrong people, but there IS someone out there that can tailor to our love lives like a glove. Most important thing is to love yourself, you have to, without that you have nothing. If you can't love yourself, you can't possibly love anyone else, so it would inevitably fail.

I say focus on YOU, get that down, and in the meantime you can figure out what type of girl would suit YOU, and not the other way around.

Say NO to the buuuuull shiiiit.

: )
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