asian indigos life...

You got questions? We have answers.
Old thread but I felt moved to reply to this quote


Without my birth at this time to my parents they would not have had the opportunity to evolve. ( challenging for all of us.) In a way I feel like I raised my parents. They would say so too. Maybe that is an Indigo thing. IDK.


Yup, I hear that from indigos a lot.

Personally I aimed to teach my parents not to try to control me but I don't think it sunk in. In a recent argument my father is still trying to pass the blame over to me for getting beaten by him because "I couldn't take not having my way". Holy crap, talk about projection...
User avatar
Andrew Gubb
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:46 am
Has thanked: 29 times
Been thanked: 87 times

yeah it;s a slow process unfortunately...
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

Ugh. I hate parents who hit like that. My own dad would hit me if I showed any other emotion that was not of happiness.

One time I spat on his face because I thought it would be a funny way of showing my anger at him. D: Unfortunately, I did not understand the dis-respectfulness of spitting on a person in our society at that time. Oh, man was he ever pissed and did I ever get smacked. It really pissed me off further because he would hit me where it wouldn't show up even if he hit hard enough to bruise.
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

wowww i thought spitting on people face is one f the worst thing u could do O.O
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

" wrote:Ugh. I hate parents who hit like that. My own dad would hit me if I showed any other emotion that was not of happiness.

One time I spat on his face because I thought it would be a funny way of showing my anger at him. D: Unfortunately, I did not understand the dis-respectfulness of spitting on a person in our society at that time. Oh, man was he ever pissed and did I ever get smacked. It really pissed me off further because he would hit me where it wouldn't show up even if he hit hard enough to bruise.


Talk about cowardly... my father also liked to administer beatings in private, and yeah, on the ass, the most humiliating and also least visible place. And as soon as I got big enough to be even the slightest threat physically, he stopped. Funny coincidence huh.

I hate him for that.
User avatar
Andrew Gubb
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:46 am
Has thanked: 29 times
Been thanked: 87 times

abusive parents.... thx god i never had such experience of abuse

it's funny how people's mind are so weak and can turn abusive

sounds like a child... in an older man's body
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

" wrote:abusive parents.... thx god i never had such experience of abuse

it's funny how people's mind are so weak and can turn abusive

sounds like a child... in an older man's body


That's exactly what he is... he's a baby...
User avatar
Andrew Gubb
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:46 am
Has thanked: 29 times
Been thanked: 87 times

" wrote:wowww i thought spitting on people face is one f the worst thing u could do O.O

Lol

Just shows I had no idea about the world around me at that time.:P Totally different way of thinking.

That's what they are selfish children. My parents don't even have the ability to hold a conversation without fighting.

I fought back once and he hit harder then he screamed at me for fighting that I should never fight back. There was my epiphany something was very wrong with my father. What parent tells their kid not to fight back ever? Especially a girl. D:< If I ever have children, I'm going to make sure they learn some kind of self defense.
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

if i have children... not just give them lessons on self defense but... prevent stupid things before it happens...

i mean spitting is like a symbol of putting feaces in some1s face or whatever...

well i am having first experience growing up in an asian country... parents and children rarely ever fights... maybe because we hold our grudges to ourselves or the sake of everyone but anyway thats not the main point

the other reason we never fight with our parents a lot is that... in our culture... there's so much appreciation and i guess bonding... so in general we maintain good relationship with our parents... yes there are the abusive ones too and it doesnt mean it's lesser than the western culture.... i mean if someone is abusive... the people tend to left the abusive person out and subconsciously we bond with other people...

as this bond thing deeply par of our culture in most places in asia... this is i think why this is harder for the awakened ones to really standout because it's not the matter of individual that they are dealing with... each individual has a bond with something so it's more complicated to influence individual... u can influence of the individual modern and mildly westernized asian easier than those who r traditional but this bond thing... that runs in their blood quite literally so u can't escape that (even i cant... even most of the western born asians) ...if u r the standout 1... people will try to bond with you.... and if u fail... u will be sort of n outcast and ignored and almost invisible....
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

Well, it wasn't like I knew what spitting in someone's face meant other than I wanted to show I was super angry in a way that was not physically hurting someone.

Hm...I guess I have sort of that bonding thing, but I bond with people with outside the family more than anyone within my family. '

I never had a relationship with my parents obviously.
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

yeah... wait.. are u half asian?
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

I understand even though I'm Chinese American. My parents are from China, and their traditions still stick with them.

My parents highly respect their "elders" even if their parents treated them poorly. I think it's from the influence of Buddhism. If not, please correct me.

My parents expect me to love them in a conditional way. Yes, I do love them for caring for me, but it seems they don't understand what love is. I thought love was something unconditional, something you don't demand. My parents expect us to love them in an "emotional" way when they lack giving it to us themselves. They never take their time sitting down with their children or spending some time with us. They have never kissed or hugged me when I was a child. Maybe they did, but I rarely remember those times if they did. Now I am indifferent to physical touch, and these showings of affection makes me feel uncomfortable and tingle with disgust. Unless it is from non-human animals. I unconditionally love non-human animals. Very easy for me to hug them.

I have never received this "mother-daughter" thing. It could explain why I feel empty, so I have bonded with my cat instead which she grew to be my fur daughter.

And child abuse. I can never understand why mothers and fathers would hit their own children. If mothers and fathers can't refrain from hitting their children when they are angry, they should never have children in the first place. It is disgusting. This goes to my past childhood beatings.
User avatar
SororArtemis
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:09 am
Been thanked: 3 times

thxfully my mum gives so much unconditional love...and we bond well with each other (i am single parented raise)

on the other note that is not involving our parents

in my country... as we have a strong root for islam in our culture... and as for the awakened ones who re born into this culture... in a way they are sort of restrictricting themselves in a way... even though they werent....
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

Yeah, I am only half Asian. My father is Caucasian.

I was alone a lot as a child and when I was around people it was 90% around adults. Most of my interaction with other kids was through school and the once a year visits to see my Asian cousins. I always loved going to my cousins' because it was relaxing and their parents were really nice. They never yelled or hit when angry. Only change their tone and try to explain why if we did something they felt was wrong or stupid. They never criticized me either.

I really don't understand how my mom who was beat by her parents never once hit me for any reason. While Dad was also beat his parents thought it was okay to spank/hit/whatever you call it especially out of anger.
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

" wrote:Wow, This will be rather difficult question to answer, but I will try my best from my experiences, and observations. But first I have to make this clear:
The stereo type doesn't really exist. I personally believe it's B.S. from the news to make an irrelevant point more relevant to further justify the division of people. But as for the drive....

The simple answer is no. The drive to achieve does not from communism.

But I am guessing you are looking for the more in depth explanation. I'll try my best. I would suggest a bathroom break before reading this...

What most people don't realize is that communism is a form of government. I never brought into the propaganda that communism is evil.
From my observations and reading Karl Marx's(German philosopher) book, it's not that bad. It's just that it can't hide human greed very well.
But that is another discussion for another time.

The drive I believe comes from the culture. To understand asian culture will take several life times. heck even chinese culture is more than enough to last a life time. I guess a good place to start which defines asian culture(especially) could be Confucius and his disciple Mencius. they were the akin to Socrates and Aristotle of asia.
their influence really impacted asian culture, from society to the individual. But I will be comparing just Confucius and Socrates as they had more of an impact and were the ones that started the asian and western cultures respectively.

If you look at the philosophies proposed by Confucius and Socrates, you can see on the surface that they are very much alike. They were both trying to define what is good and bad for society and the individual as a whole. But if you read more closely, you will find that the basis for what is good and bad for society/individual is radically different.

In a nutsheel, Socrates focused more on the harmony individual, allowing the individual to dictate the changes of society, thus was born democracy. Confucius focused more on the society as a whole, focusing on harmony of the general populace or society. Aristotle built up a perfect society from the bottom up to society, Confucius built up the perfect society from the top down to the individual.
In my personal opinion they were both just looking at different sides of the same coin. So with this came codes of conduct. Some borrowed from Taoist philosophies, and others from india, etc.
In these codes of conduct, he mentions the ever dutiful son, etc. So in essence it is the "honor thy mother and father", but in the asian case, "mother and father" includes ancestors as we were mainly ancestral worshipers. So, moving along with these codes of conduct passing via word of mouth and trade. almost all of asia adopted either all or if not some of the codes of conduct.

Now in the traditional sense in an asian family, everyone has thier appointed duties from the codes, and it is the children's duty to listen, obey thier parents to promote a harmonious family unit, which will
add up together for a harmonious society. (Now I know I am making the codes of conduct sound like a cold mechanical doctrine of a facist, but I am just doing this for simplicity sake. The codes of conduct were much more.)
So where was I, oh yes, duty. one of these duties is the duty to fulfill expectations of the parents/ancestors. you see when a wish is made or a vision or hope, they are almost always pass down to the next generation if it is not realized in the first generation. In other words, there is a sense to want to succeed and even surpass the next generation. And if you look at the history of not only from china but mainly eastern asian countries. They have been impoverished for the past 200 years or so, due to the powerful western influences back then. So many families ended up sort of starting from scrach again if you will. They have to rebuild again from generation to generation. And if you look at the students now, because they now have the opportunity to attend school and college which some cases many of their parents never went to. So the parents put quite a lot of pressure on the children to perform academically in order for the next generation to succeed(The usual get a good paying job paradigm). They sometimes say things like "Do you want to work at " for the rest of your life?


From my experience this is more subconscious in asian families than it is conscious. Asian families have been living with it for so long that the real meaning of the codes of conducts have been forgotten, but the duty remains, and has been passed down from generation to generation.
With this the parents put a lot of pressure to perform as soon as they hit kindergarten(for some).

So if you zoom up to the present day, and if you observe carefully your asian friends and ask them why asian people do certain specific actions, One of the usual anwers is "I dunno, it's the 's way". The codes of conduct have been watered down through the generations. Now in the present this code of duty still exists, but not as predominant as before. Because of western influences, there are more and more family units more like western style families. The funny thing is that Taiwan and Hong Kong claims to be very modern, and embracing the western more than china, but from personal experience, families from Taiwan and Hong Kong I found were much more traditional compared to their mainland china counterparts in large cities. This I found Ironic, like a cosmic joke.

So I hope this answers your question somewhat. My answer is more of a generalization, mainly because there are more cultural factors which influence asian families. One of them is also teaching style. Education in the east tends to be more rigid, while the west is a little free thinking.


But what I would suggest is taking a look at the works of Confucius, and some Taoist philosophies, to get an idea of the starting point, and then explore and talk you your teacher and asian friends. I would recommend you observe thier every action. believe it or not even gestures are different between asians and the west.

I hope this helps.


this thing should have been in this thread discussion... very good reasoning and very true.. afterall i am first hand asian myself
User avatar
fred aus indo
 
Posts: 5648
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:12 pm
Blogs: 4
Has thanked: 685 times
Been thanked: 754 times

XD

It's ingrained in our DNA to do well?

Another question: I notice Asians are more often content or happy than I would say I see Caucasians, who seem to be very troubled and angry, in my area?

Maybe this is just me being weird, but it seems I either see Asians really relaxed and happy or extremely upset and quiet angry.
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

I am not sure if there are any asian indigos?
User avatar
SecretAgentMan
 
Posts: 9296
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:44 am
Blogs: 2
Has thanked: 887 times
Been thanked: 1048 times

o.O Why would indigos be limited to race?
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times

Do you think there are asian indigos?
User avatar
SecretAgentMan
 
Posts: 9296
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:44 am
Blogs: 2
Has thanked: 887 times
Been thanked: 1048 times

Lol
AvariClover
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:47 am
Blogs: 24
Has thanked: 216 times
Been thanked: 203 times


  • Similar Topics

    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to index page Questions & Answers

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 0 guests