Even the emotion of "love" is problematic in my eyes.......and yours?

General Open Discussion for topics not covered anywhere else.
I've met a great guy, well not physicially because I have to lose my extra 15 pounds (20 pounds of retaliation from this planet's standards, lost already!), but we've been talking for 2 months. He is everything I intended for myself, except his age of 14 yrs. my senior, and that he is currently out of a job(LOL!) perhaps that's my problem. But I can work with these 'challenges", I'm more concernced that what I intended/want more than anything on this planet, is to have a loving relationship and breed! (afterall, we are all animals).

Now that my intentions are possibly in fruition, I"m willing to throw it away because I feel the human need to connect with someone, is a weakness of the human condition. Humans are just looking to bond with someone, memorable of sucking off their mother's teat, to feel "good" while here. There is no one to make another complete. I see it as a weakness, yet another, of this existence.

Does anyone identify with these feelings of shooting yourself in the foot (of what you truly want to experience here), but feeling the inherent weakness, once again, of the human condition, in that you feel "above it?" That's where I'm at....I can't see one saving grace of the true value of this experience. Do you?

Sorry to spread negativity here, but I know you're all strong enough to take it. Offering a suggestion for me, is another thing. Again, we are all sitting ducks and I guess I had a reaction to what (my power) I manifested for myself, which I truly wanted. I'm just at a road-block with letting my emotions(fleeting and human/which equates to weakness, in my book), be vulnerable to the ultimate "human experience" of emotion......IMHO the ultimate curse/weakness of the human species.

Any thoughts?
Heathra
 
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I'm becoming an agonistic......how could'nt anyone that has fully digested the "facts" about survival on this planet, not?
Heathra
 
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It's come to the point for me that I can't even "meditate" (a problem) for I feel no true source to connect to and surely nothing "higher-up" which I believe in....for IT never would have sent us here to suffer, needlessly. I spit on the "human" condition! But by all means, enjoy it, while it lasts........................lol!
Heathra
 
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oh, I'm sorry........Am I supposed to rise above? LOL! Know that this is just "another lesson" my soul is supposed to learn? kiss my ass, planet. The only truth is that this planet is HELL!, as the christians see it...no wonder they hug/preach it for their very survival. They are as ignorant as they are blissful, with a false reality. Come on guys.......
Heathra
 
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I'm as "real" and honest to a fault as they come. Thanks to my "elephants", energetic brothers/sisters who have been on this entry, in order to keep me standing as to not fall further prey to others. Those that haven't yet spoken, I feel your energy, and I thank you for it.
Heathra
 
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I guess this has become a thread for me to talk with myself...LOL! Thanks for your inherent wisdom, friends....if that is what I needed to do.
Heathra
 
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I think it is wonderful that you want to explore falling in love. Even if nothing happens or something does, at least you enjoy the ride of feeling nice inside. My weakness is loving the feeling of having a crush on somebody.

I kind of relate to the problem of wanting contact and the pitfalls of it being physically a little gross. I used to admire this herd of Buffalo near a state park I liked to visit. They were so majestic, furry and regal and I wanted to pet them in the worst way. I wanted to have a special contact with them. I took a visiting friend to see them once and the entire herd strolled up and approached him like they knew him! ( I was deeply jealous at this.) They came right up to fence, the whole family even the little Buffalo baby. The big bull lowered his head and we placed our hands on his woolly, massive head. Then in a demonstration of love the bull licked my friends hand from elbow to finger tip with a giant mucusy tongue! I was thrilled and disgusted at the same time.
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Indigo Dog
 
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Oh, I just thought of something. Sometimes when I feel insecure about my body I just insist on lights off romance. I feel sexier in the dark. Lol.
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Indigo Dog
 
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just enjoy.. do not question your feeling... if you do .... well you will loose it all. Have good sex. :) .. ciao.
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