" wrote:so i am one of the few members in here who was born in the developing country
You're not the only one, I was also born and raised in the so called "3rd world"
Like you said, this can make things be complicated (and stupid)...I'll make it short: My father was actually a street kid taken in by a family truly out of the kindness of their heart, so he would not be beggin in the streets. His real father abandoned him and his 5 other siblings. His mother died when he was 3. He would have died in the streets had it not been for that family. He was adopted and grew up with them and eventually made it to college. There he met my mom, who herself also comes from an extremely poor family and got the chance to go to school merely because her father was a teacher at that school. Both became engineers (highest paying career at the time, you had to choose what would bring you money so as to not starve) and got a pretty nice job (at this time the oil industry was booming, so they did pretty well for themselves). I was born 4 years into their marriage, because they had 1 miscarriage before me and my mom was desperate for a child. I was treated very nicely my first year on this planet, but then my father starting having problems at work. My mom's career started booming, she got promotion after promotion, was doing real well and my father was not. He started to get career jealousy. 1.5 years later, my sister was born and we moved to a bigger house.
My mom has a super important position, with lots of subordinates and had to hire help. I barely ever saw my parents, they were ALWAYS working. I was raised by a nanny, who I called "mom" until I was 5. My father starts drinking and taking out his fustration on me, he beat me every single day from ages 6 to 12. In turn, I do the same to my sister. Some years later, my mom gets pregnant again, has my 2nd sister. Dad leaves, not before having an afair and getting some other lady pregnant ( I have sibling I haven't met yet, apparently). My mother copes by becoming even more workaholic, and I basically was alone from them on.
Needless to say I was NEVER supported in regards to my views, opinions, whenever I would voice them I would get literally beaten up and called "evil" or "bad". My sister (the middle one) hates my guts for having beated her up in turn. My youngest sister is oblivious to all this as she was born at the end of it all and did not experience it. I left my house at 17 yrs old, went to America, got my undergraduate there, came back, then got a grant to go to school at the other side of the world, where I live now, and I've never been happier.
So...yeah, I didn't have it easy, and I struggle a lot with letting go of the anger I have towards the abuse from my father and the negligence of my mother, and I try to remember they did the best they could with what they had, and it's true. My father was typical macho man who hated that woman could be in higher position than him, and hated when a woman would stand up to him (like me, and thats why he beat me). I'm working on having compassion towards them, its hard but I'm giving my best!