Shame

[Noir]

Hmmm... I used to have shame attacks often, and for no apparent reason...The last one was this morning

But still... This hasnt happened to me in a long time... Before this shame was very destructive in my social relationships...
A lot of people thought bad about me because of this stupid shame issue. Normally it happened when somebody was talking about somebody who did something bad, and my face would go totally red, and many people in my young years though i was the culprit altough i maybe even didnt know those people at all... Weird.


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I allways thought it was a self-destruction mechanism. I m going to read your links now!

[evergreen]

So after the intro, the book still refers to the 'person with shame'. It isn't until the secion on the 'Shame Based Person' that the pronoun "she" is started to be used. The pronoun 'he' is used also, but not nearly as often.

Funny thing--it happens alot with my daughter--she's 13. Anyway, she picked up the book and it was opened to the page where it first starts using 'she' to describe a shame based person. She says to me, "So femals only have shame"? I told her no and asked why she said that. She pointed out a sentence about the shame based person with the pronoun 'she'. I was stunned. My jaw dropped. It is not a big thing for me to talk about how women are presented in books and the media. She totally picked it up on her own--out of my brain I swear.

[evergreen]

Another good link.

http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/guilt.asp

[evergreen]

This is a good link too.

http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/the-healing-of-shame/

[Indigo Dog]

Guilt is my journey to overcome. My guilt trip.

Shame is the others journey to get through. They put shame on me to control me. ( Good luck with that. Ha,ha!)

[rabana]

Shame is the others journey to get through. They put shame on me to control me. ( Good luck with that. Ha,ha!)

they are long gone and i'm left with the residue.

but like i say, its just more mental bs. if it comes up, dismiss it.

[rabana]

i thought of this thread when i did this nice (and short ) guided meditation http://www.solara.org.uk/userfiles/f..._Practices.mp3 that michael u. posted on this thread http://www.solara.org.uk/userfiles/f..._Practices.mp3

in the meditation you are asked to reclaim, take back into your aura, all the power that you ever gave away. that felt good and i realized it would be a good way to deal with shame. when those uncomfortable memories arise, reclaim your energy that was stolen at the time (and over and over since) by the unkindness, cruelty and inhumanity of humans and society.

it beats my other method for dealing with this bs (see my post #4 ).

[joel]

... Guilt is thinking one did something wrong. Shame is believing one is wrong ...

Well said.

Guilt is simple, shame is something very sneaky to understand. Shame comes from ego, from other people, according to common rules and behavioral patterns. But still shame does not exist. When you are different, then there is shame. But different to who - to other people. To yourself, there is no shame. So shame is illusional.
Black sheep in a group can be either an idiot or a genius. It differs only from perspective. Every difference in a society is genius. But in a wrong society it is something wrong, because it is different from a group. So by my logic shame is actually a ingenious. Behind the shame lies genius, individuality. All needed to be done is to look at the shame in a different perspective. To punch a sheeps, difference is something disturbing and bad and discomfort. But black sheep can look at it as genius or an idiot according to simple perspective change.

Just some random thoughts about it.

[Rum]

Shame is the wrong attitude to the past and fear is the wrong attitude to the future you live in neither this is the present.