" wrote:The worst category are those who actually don't need your help but they love complaining on how their life suck, they are stuck in their problems, you give them your advice and in the end they just do absolutely nothing except being drama queens. They do absolutely nothing to change their lives and on the other hand they are saying "oooh you have such a wonderful life, lucky you, bla bla bla".
I made a general announcement in August that I was not going to be available because people were plaguing me with questions. Just the sound of someones voice leaving yet another inane question on my vm was enough to exhaust me. I looked at the nature of the questions posed to me and found no true need there, it was simple laziness on their part and I'm not a freakin' desk reference. So with this announcement people trebled their efforts, texting and phoning me repeatedly and with this desperate determination to get my attention when they KNEW I was on vacation. I didn't respond, but did they take the hint? So then they switch tactics and use concern "Are you okay?" Then they create a drama out of the fact I'm out in the wilderness out of cell phone service. "She might be wanting to kill herself " (at this point, close, but not quite. ) and if I were to kill my self I'd not bother to drive one hundred miles to a campground with my daughter, 20 bags of ice, junkfood and beer.
Not really worried just anxious that I'm not available. This was a very interesting contrast. At all other times they gush about what a strong self reliant person I am but the minute I make myself unavailabe to them, they think I must be killing myself or depressed. Isn't that arrogant. "There must be something wrong with HER, if she doesn't want to speak to ME." So with my vacation ruined by pests, my wishes completely unrespected I laid the law down in a formal statement that I would be in retreat for one month and to please respect sacredness of that retreat of silence. Meaning, I will hear no voices but my own. If you can't respect my request I will enforce it with bitch kitty law. You would think I screwed their husband and kicked their dog the way some of these people reacted. But it gave me a huge insight as to who was a friend (friends either shrugged it off or supported me) and the people who NEED you to be there 24-7 . Those people wrap their self identity up in you and when you quite neccessarily have to become unavailable for awhile they feel like you've robbed them of themselves. Wounded people always think everyone else is smarter, prettier, better than them so they put you on a pedestal and when they find out that you are human they get pissed.