Hi to anyone reading this. I'm sorry if I'm rubbish at this; i've never been on a forum before, but i felt a connection when i saw this one. for a long time now i've felt on my own, but reading some of the things on here has made me realise there are others like me. So here's my story:
Ever since i was little i've felt like something was different. mostly with my emotions. They were sky high a lot of the time. I've been an extremely emotional person all my life. Sometimes they're too much too deal with that i cant help but break down cry and sometimes it's unbareable. I was like this even at the age of around 4. Other times though i can feel on top of the world, things look clear and great and i feel they couldnt get any better. this may sound like some sort of depression but i really think it's something else.
Three years ago i was admitted to hospital with anxiety and i spent 2 months in an adolesent unit. It was the scariest time of my life. you see; i have a highly vivid imagination, and my mind started playing tricks on me. I think it happened because these emotions i've talked about just built up over the years and i broke down. I couldn't take it anymore. when i left after the two months of being there, the questions in my head started appearing. I wanted to know the purpose of my life. I wanted to know why I'm here and i wanted to know why i've felt like this for as long a I can remember. I turned to religion. Then i started believing in Angels. Since then i've felt protected, i mean i still feel really vulnerable sometimes. But that belief keeps me going.
It's been three years since I left that adolesent unit. Now it's come to me... I dont think i come from here. I mean yeah i was born here, but I dont think this is my forever home. I believe I came here, and am living on this earth to bring love and comfort to those I love. I think thats my purpose. But at the moment times are tough. Emotions are sky high and i cant concentrate on the people I love. i want to though, with all my heart. I Just need some guidance and find some inner peace. and thats why i've come here. Please, if anyone can talk to me, even just to say they understand what i'm going through, or to give me that bit of guidance i need, it would be much appreciated.