Unconditional Understanding.
What if, instead of unconditional love we tried to understand each other a little better.
Can you love what you don't understand??.
Every time you say, "i love you", do you really mean it??
What do you preffer?
To be love unconditionaly? or just to be understood?.
You don't have to love to feel empathy.
You need to understand to feel empathy.
What if...
One step at a time.
The first step is always the hardest.
Understanding is good and is an excellent first step IF you can accept that those with beliefs and views different from your own but which are just as valid.
Once you accept the differences your mind can (hopefully) open enough to understand.
Just a thought
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
the mind creates belief systems.
luckily for me , one of my gifts is being able to see Any point of view and completely understand it.
love to all
rue
I like the point you make and think its really important to be open to understanding or at least considering the possibility of another's perspective. I believe unconditional love is based on many pillars like understanding. Also another big pillar is acceptance, because without accepting a posssibility, how can we begin to understand it. Luv Jane
And the ability to LISTEN. That's a big strong pillar.
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
Oh yeh - I feel TRUST is absolutely one of the biggies!!!!
P.S. What does IMO stand for??????
Lots of Luv, Jane
Thanks - I just didn't know what it stood for - I saw it around on a lot of posts. Still getting 'puter literate.
Hey alchemy
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
I think I'll start calling you Pochahontas, lavella
sings *just around the river bend*
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
Good strategy yet it does come to "us" overcoming our fears. As with the last few threads regarding Unconditional Love, I remain dedicated to that concept. An amazing friend sent me this document and it seems appropriate to share:Originally Posted by Roier
The Awakening
by Sonny Carroll
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
• how you should look and how much you should weigh
• what you should wear and where you should shop
• where you should live or what type of car your should drive
• who you should sleep with and how you should behave
• who you should marry and why you should stay
• the importance of having children or what you owe your family
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that’s OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”
And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with the Goddess by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for material things but for the Goddess to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.
I love the discussions here... please keep your passions!!!! Love,
*snorts* sorry lavella, but when I read the bit about windchimes I thought you'd said "I AM windchimes" and was momentarily confused
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
Out of all the blurbs I've read on here so far, this is one of the most exceptional ones I'v seen. Thank you so much for sharing it - is it OK with you, if I printed this out and shared it with others?
I'm going out now to hang my wind chimes!!!
Luv to you, Jane
If it was the "blurb" I posted, absolutely! I have no ownership of it and it was given to me to share. If we can promote love and the end of fear, wow! A daunting task yet a task of love and respect.
Sorry, yes it is your blurb I'm referring to.
At the end of the day, I believe there are only really two issues a Soul contends with - the choice between Love vs. Fear.
Many thanks, Jane
individuality...ive always been a fan....
It's our individuality that makes this board so wonderful. This forum encourages understanding.
I would like more people to make threads about their faiths. I've said a ton about Christianity, but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.
Anyone can be a 人 (ren, human) but it takes a lot to be a person. - Chinese Proverb
It is so good to know that you don't feed your ego, hahahahaha
This thread was a good read'..unconditional understanding.
It is something that I try, yet can be hard at times..but still find myself working on truely doing.
~Wave your hands in the air like you don’t care
Glide by the people as they start to look and stare...~
We be windchimes...that would be the life, yeah? Hanging out in the breeze, chiming gently, and making people smile
"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death."
This thread was a good read'
It is something that I try, yet can be hard at times..but still find myself working on truely doing.
When I posted this thread, there was a popular thread called "unconditional love".
But weird thing, I don't think that you can love any one you want, I think that love is uncontrollable (different kind of unconditional), and there will be always people you love, people you don't.
There is blind love (you don't know why you love), and conscious love (you know why you love), and the other (you don't really love, but you say you do anyway), hehehe.
But understanding perhaps is something a person can control, you won't understand blind love (perhaps hormones, pheromones and/or genetics), but after understanding a person can develop a better judgment and vote for an obama instead of a mccain, vote for a kerry instead of a bush, vote for a dole instead of a bush.
Anyone can say that loves you, you can say that you love back, but understanding gives you a glimpse of how much of that love is or isn't real.
Blind love is not that good after all, it victimizes people.
An opinion.
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