Thanks for your beautiful post. I relate--same thing here. I hate killing or harming any living thing. When I was hanging out and sharing with the Brahmin and the Kshatraya, they were always urging me to stop being such a sadhu and start being a sanyasi. I need some sadhu time to develope the gifts I can share as a sanyasi. They understood that eventually. There's a lot of Jain in me--Ahimsa! They got that, too--eventually.
There's a large Tarantula living here in one of the rock gardens. LakotaMD and I rescued her from crossing a busy street and gave her a home. She moved right in, She built a borrow at the base of a Juniper tree. I'm glad she's here. I like the company of G-D's little ones.