ADD ADHD experiences

[Lion Lady]

greetings all, I have not posted here in a while. I feel as though not too many people have shared what add adhd medication has done to them. I want to get feed back on how you feel and how your brain worked while being on the medication. There is a debate on whether there is a cost to long term effect on taking these medications.

I want this thread for everyone to tell their stories, I have countless people who I know that have been diagnosed and lost a sense of who they are because of these prescription drugs for ADD and ADHD. All of their words are in my head though, I don't have them in writing to show psychologists and fellow teachers on what these drugs can do.

I will start with my story. Ya when I was young I didn't do well in school. I got prescribed to ritalin. Ritalin indeed helped me focus, but not for long, they kept on upping my dose until there was no higher dose. It made me anxious, blank minded, I had lack of ambition to do things I wanted and liked to do, I would feel sad but could not cry, had a hard time sleeping, was restless, didn't know who I was, couldn't eat well I got very skinny, etc.. I could list so many things it did to me. I know many people share this same story. Sitting in a room wanting to do something, but all your favorite things didn't sound right, and you just sit there lost. I would find myself wanting to cry and I would say to myself "why can't I cry, I am depressed, but I can't cry, I want myself back, the real me is gone and I don't know where she went."

I quit ritalin years ago, it took me two years to feel like the real me again, I finally gained my creative thoughts back, I finally gained my sense of humor back. I thought I was gone forever.

Now I want to hear your stories and hopefully we can make a difference.

[Oldkid]

I'm not sure this will help any at all since two differences apply.

First off, although I can see that ADHD runs in the family, the first one to be diagnosed was my nephew, my sisters son. (the cool part is that as his older brother is named after his father, my nephew is named after me) However, I know that as a child I was called "a day dreamer" and my older brother (an ADHD poster child still) was labled as having "minimal brain disfunction".

Second, since I was never diagnosed all my medication was self medicating. So like I said, this may not help.

I tried alcohol but obviously that didn't do the trick. The good news is that I learned a lot and have not had even a sip of alcohol in about twenty years.


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I did however have a lot better luck with pot, which I smoked off and on for years. The trouble there is that I tend to lose track of my intentions and smoke more and more till I'm smoking like a fiend, spending more money than I should and not getting as much out of it. It stopped me from dreaming for a long time and the "extra sensory" experiences I did have were all to be viewed with extreame doubt since I never knew what caused that particular "sensation".

I would not recomend either of those to anyone for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the legality issue. I've never tried the other drugs, so called "chemicals" and my nephew agrees that neither of us can understand why anyone would want to do speed. To spend all that money, invite addiction, risk the legal ramifications, and the physical impact, only to feel like I (we) do all the time is beyond my ability to understand and I pride myself with understanding.

I've been "clean" now for a while and love it. I'm dreaming again and when I do see shadows move, hear voices or whatever, I know it's not the "self medication".

My nephew has been on the ritalin also but quit that for the same reasons, I believe, that you did. I used to urge him to take it, when he did, because the idea of controlling this was a very pleasent thought. Here too I've learned and understand his, and your choice of stopping.

I'm not sure what "advice" I could give except to know, not wish, KNOW that you can gain at least some controll with the right exercises including relaxation techniques and meditation. Also don't be afraid to let others know what's going on so they understand as well. If you deal with depression, as I still do, write what you're feeling as you're feeling depressed and save those notes. When you feel better, and have your correct perspective back, go and re-read one of those notes, only one because you don't want to invite depression again, to see just how distorted those thoughts were. Next time depression hits, you'll be aware if only subconsciously how distorted those thoughts are.

I'll stop now because I'm rambling and as I've said before, long time ago (LOL) I'm not sure this will be of any help at all.

At least it's a reply...

Blessed Be