I have a protector (etheric) that I'm not completely comfortable with. He lives in my bedroom - specifically from the point of the top of my stairs to my bedroom (my "wing" of the upstairs).
he's been with me for a long time. probably 3-4 years. I first noticed him after a relationship a few years ago.. That relationship involved sacred sex/sex magick and during one of the acts we liberated a lot of "stuff". I felt like he was the by-product of that. he started out as something super nasty - a conglomeration of all kinds of baggage and energy and formerly attached entities from the guy from the relationship. As the relationship fell apart, and as I put myself back together, I worked really hard at clearing my space and everything in it.. even with the help of the person that helped me "create" all of this. During this time (approximately 6-9 months) I worked very hard at getting rid of him and every other entity in my space.
Protector was (along with others) with me for quite some time.. and then disappeared when I took a vow of celibacy. I was celibate for nearly 2 years.
i always have entities in my space. As I'm laying down at night, they "swarm" over the ceiling and over the bed and sometimes in the nooks in my bedroom. My protector generally stays away from the ceiling and either stands at the right of my bed (right by me), at the foot of the bed, or in the nook by the window.. I've seen him other places though..They don't usually bother me other than occasionally creeping me out.. They make their presence known - sometimes put me to sleep, comfort me, give me messages etc.. but not protector - he just glares (and talks).
My life changed dramatically during this time period and he wasn't needed as much as he had been... so I thought he was gone. He's not. He came back when I ended my vow of celibacy.
About a year ago, I started to see signs of him again..he came out when there was any male (other than ones he knew to be benign) in my space. He's always been this way. He's blasted guys out of the room - shot energy through them to the point of them leaving the house.
Last night, while I was on the phone, he got really pissed off and started glaring at me menacingly and intervened in the phone call I was in.. frankly I was grateful - but it was still odd.. he ended up messing with the pillows and curtains and just generally pitching a hissy fit - until I got off the phone.
I've done and employed just about every available resource at getting rid of this protector.. BUT he does seem to have my best interest at heart.. which makes me wonder.
I can't decide where for sure he's coming from.. whether he's still a leftover from my former lover - or whether he's something else. while I love that he protects me, I hate that he's creepy about it.. watching me sleep.. kind of like a stalker. and yet he never ever harms me...He and I have conversed on several occasions - and his story is always the same.. I'm protecting you.. that person isn't right for you. they don't belong here.. etc.
I don't know whether to attempt (again) to get rid of him, or to make a shrine. LOL
I'm interested in hearing others' thoughts on this.. what would you do? would you get rid of him? where do you think he's from? now? then? the future? (future lover/partner). How do you feel about protectors? Does anyone else have one like this?
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assistance is welcome/appreciated. <3