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Maybe I'm just not enlightened or something...
but I've been noticing that I really don't have what a majority of the people on here have:
compassion, love, morals, and all that junk.
I just don't have it.
I trust no one,
see most who seem inferior to me as my own personal tools...
I use people.
I lie with ease...
and only hesitate when caught.
I love drugs and booze...
not to blame my behavior on it, because it's the other way around.
My behavior, my mindset, my attitude...is the REASON why I seek drugs for an escape.
and I really hate people a lot of the times.
I'm spiteful...
and have a lot of negative energy most of the time.
I have the true definition of a "warrior spirit"...
but I don't see that in others. They all wanna help people, even those closed-minded little sheeps..
I notice that alot of indigos I know in real life...are a lot like me. So it can't be because I'm not indigo.
So what is it? Am I missing something here?
Am I just immature of unenlightened? 'Cause I dunno anymore...
Last edited by thenomadicartist; 08-30-2008 at 03:44 PM.
Lately, I've been vewwy vewwy sadand have decided to turn my life around, because if we all love each other, anything is possible! So in order to do that, I am looking for a very new quote that I can base my uberly new like awesome saintly life on!
should I use this:
"I love you
You love me
We're best friends like friends should be
With a great big hug and
A kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?"
-Barney the Purple Dinosaur
or this!:
"I am just me"- {{d*@*b}}
...
Last edited by Naterade; 10-09-2008 at 11:11 PM.
without love I won't survive...
There is a cat in a box suspended in superposition, just hanging there untill we get it.
She told us to overlook semantic superstition of this and that,
Chill the constant chatter as words debilitates will into concepts of matter,
Sensory reciprocality will usher in the void of we.
Perhaps you are a darkworker, but you've been taught (by society, the media that portrays 'evil' as ugly, and even the Indigo/New Age movement) to deny your thoughts and passions as being "wrong."
There is only one rule in the darkworker's world: be as you are, and not as you ought.
When we find ourselves struggling with thoughts that society has told us are "wrong," our learned reaction is to doubt ourselves and say: "Hey, stop it. There must be something wrong with me. This thought is bad and I need to get rid of it."
The darkworker, on the other hand, learns to embrace himself/herself as s/he is, and to accept all aspects of the personality, both "good" and "evil."
"Where there is love, there is life, And where there is life, there is hope, (There is hope...), And in hope we find the sight to see
The essence of divinity" - The Cruxshadows, "Defender."
this is james dabbs son.i felt that i need all the booze and drugs to take my problems away no matter what when ever i had a bad day.girl problems,w/e i under stand what your saying i felt feel the same way. ive been on house arrest for 3 months and i know what your sayin hesitate when caught,ive been threw it all.im 15 and did alot of things that i dont regreat. i liked the feeling no matter what pill it was..i under stand what your goin threw.. ~james~
That sounds a lot like me. I find myself to be beyond good and even on most occasions. I find that there is no such thing.Originally Posted by UntoldGlory
They are both forces that dwell in the nature of man, and it is up to us on what to do with them.
Thanks James. And thank you Dabbs for having your son get on Indigo Society to help me out in this tough-ish situation that I'm having. (:this is james dabbs son.i felt that i need all the booze and drugs to take my problems away no matter what when ever i had a bad day.girl problems,w/e i under stand what your saying i felt feel the same way. ive been on house arrest for 3 months and i know what your sayin hesitate when caught,ive been threw it all.im 15 and did alot of things that i dont regreat. i liked the feeling no matter what pill it was..i under stand what your goin threw.. ~james~
Pills are alright, but right now, alcohol is my drug of choice.
I gave up on weed.
Lately, I've been vewwy vewwy sad
should I use this:
"I love you
You love me
We're best friends like friends should be
With a great big hug and
A kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?"
-Barney the Purple Dinosaur
or this!:
"I am just me"- {{d*@*b}}
If you have to be hooked on something, Nomad, I guess alcohol is the "safest." However, the use of substances runs contrary to darkworker philosophy as I understand it. I believe that all of our power lies within us. You are a shining star, though one obscured, at times, by clouds. Why would an a powerful, self-controlled individual need an external stimulant to gain self-mastery? Relying on a stimulant for pleasure is no better than relying on others. Be your own master. Create your own pleasure and pain, as you will. There is no reason to allow external elements to control your thoughts and feelings. This is the path of the weak.
That being said, I agree with you that reality is ultimately "beyond good and evil." I subscribe to Nietzche's slave and master idea of morality, and I've found a lot of Foucault's theories to be helpful in this regard as well.
On a more personal note, your posts seem to reflect a lot of frustration, especially in regards to your present living conditions. Is there anything that I can do to help?
"Where there is love, there is life, And where there is life, there is hope, (There is hope...), And in hope we find the sight to see
The essence of divinity" - The Cruxshadows, "Defender."
If you don't think I do drugs then you are wrong. I have tried everything and I know what I like. I am a "warrior spirit" I am even named after a warrior from birth. I think maybe you should read or study up on what it means to be a warrior because I think you are way off. You are not acting as a warrior just because you hate others and use those who are inferior as tools and all the stuff. Study warrior cultures. You may find that it is not about "war" as we define it in modern society. There is a difference between a warrior and a soldier. One asserts respect for life at all costs and one follows orders at all costs. Both defend but in different ways. Warriors fight when necessary and make the decision about when it is necessary. Warriors do not escape with drugs the tune in with drugs and only some drugs actually tune one in. Alchohol seperates you from the outside and in turn from the inside. Most drugs that are destructive do the same, yes even meth. Destructive drugs perpetuate feelings of isolation and even ones that are not destructive can acheive the same effect if abused.
The only reason I have morals is because I have learned from my mistakes and negative life experiences. If you want to retreat and be weak, fine but denial is not just a river in Egypt.
I'm sorry but from my experience most people who manipulate others, hate and think they are some badass are really just scared. I can read this through your writing. All I can say is get a backbone and face the fire, be a real badass. I live amoungst gangsters, hookers, drug addicts and theives day in and day out, not only that, but I have been scared like them before. I have hit rock bottom so many times in my life I just now that you are young and may not understand what I mean but life is not what you think it is. I don't know what life means to you but I can tell you don't know either. Inbetween hitting up the drugs, maybe on your way to the dealer or whatever, think real hard about life and what it means. Remember live by the sword die by the sword.
Nothing wrong with warrior energy. Got some myself. What comes with age is more clarity in what you want to do with it and a sense of choice about enacting the more aggressive strategies. Kinda hard to learn that lesson if you numb it all the time with substances. Its because I have known pain that I can look at the pain of another and not wince. I wouldn't erase the pain now even if I could.
Last edited by bluewaterdance; 08-30-2008 at 06:56 PM. Reason: respect
You are stuck in an ego-based state of mind where everything revolves around you and how 'good' or 'bad' you feel at the moment. You are not the only one.
Drugs and alcohol rarely solve problems, they create them or make them worse.
Trust is an interesting issue. Please earnestly read this article about trust, it my redefine what you believe trust is. http://www.huna.org/html/trust.html
Do you only hate people because they don't seem to be doing what you want them to? Do you think other people are only for fulfilling your needs? Do you rely on other people to make you happy?
Naivety and irresponsibility are the two main factors I see influencing your behavior. You feel you have been let down by the world around you so take it out on anyone you can. Your subconscious has been programmed to believe life is a certain way by mass media and society, which varies significantly from your early childhood expectations.
You can not escape it through any means but your own death. What you can do is be your own source of happiness and love. I assure you that no one is born without the capacity for love and compassion, by blaming your problems on people and things outside of yourself you have developed a sense of victimization - that these people killed your compassion.
There is plenty of fear in your statements as well. You appear to feel as though you have been backed into a corner. Perhaps like there is also a big piece of you missing. It is because a third of your brain yearns for spiritual experience from birth. Denial of this leads to throughly unsatisfying materialism, and attempting to fill this void with other means (drugs for example - alcohol is a drug, one that magnifies negative emotions exponentially). So basically you are attempting to relieve your symptoms by making them worse. The billboards that make alcohol seem fun are a marketing scheme to get you to buy their crap.
Your brain is a essentially an organic computer that accepts programs, you are the programmer. If you are just inputing junk code or accepting whatever program society throws at you - it is going to result in a clusterfuck where nothing makes sense.
MEDITATION! I can't say it enough. Sit down with yourself, consciously control your breath and figure out who you really are within.
Don't forget that other people might be thinking the same things about you that you think about them.
Last edited by Protonexus; 08-31-2008 at 01:01 AM.
nice speech protonexus i keep it for when i'll have child
Hi thenomadicartist
When I saw this:
I was thinking it may be possible that you really do have a warrior spirit, but the "traits" you are listing do not essentially give representation of this. I was going to write a little about it, but {{d*@*b*}} said it well:
We all go through different states in life. I think Untold Glory said it well that you have to accept yourself as you are...but....in doing this you need to realise that you are much greater than your existential reactions to society and people, you are much greater than whatever choice of palliatives you make, you are much greater than your choices and interactions with people. These are indications of ego and coping with the world but they do not define who you are. And even by saying you are much greater here, I am not meaning in an egocentric way...we tend to minimise ourselves to stimuli and reaction not realising that we exist outside of these forces and we have a state of being. Protonexus put it well in this way:
Your brain is like a tool and your state of being is outside of this. This entire list you gave is a list of reactions, but not really who you are.
This might be the key
Well it is a light to medium gray overcast day with high winds and I am watching the palm trees sway...have to go outside and experience this
"Exclusion is the greatest inclusion."-~*A.Z.*~
"Seeing into darkness is clarity. Knowing how to yield is strength.
Use your own light and return to the source of light.
This is called practicing eternity." -Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching 52
South Florida and boyyy is the humidity high! geez
"Seeing into darkness is clarity. Knowing how to yield is strength.
Use your own light and return to the source of light.
This is called practicing eternity." -Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching 52
gustav is gusting!
and it takes warrior energy to battle the elements and survive a storm...let's send some to those in Gustav's path!
I'll join you in prayer to protect those in the storms path.
You get what you think about whether you want it or not.
Join a 12 Step program to avoid jail.
You get what you think about whether you want it or not.
I thought all Indigos, starseeds were WARRIOR SPIRITS???
Been a warrior at heart does not make you a weak spirit, it empowers you to go beyond the norm. I have felt and embraced WARRIOR since I can remember.
A warrior spirit does not indicate negativity at all. I am a spiritual warrior.
NomadicArtist, you don't sound negative in nature at all to me, what you sound like is numbed from the head down, you are just spiritually blocked,
Your mindset is negative because perhaps you have had to deal with a lot of pain and hurt in your life.
Protonexus, is correct in saying that it sound like you are just accepting what society throws at you,
you need to be reprogrammed.
Embrace the positive, even if it doesn't feel right, allow the thoughts to become a reality,
Obscurity in the Shadows, I dance unseen
JOIN THE DARKSIDE
WE HAVE COOKIES
your welcome i totally under stand what your goin threw.. the only thing that ever leveled me out was pills and booze...weed jus got me paroinared..esp when i was high around mom..lol jus try to stay away from the pillls its not worth o.d. on.jus stick to drinkin..~james~
Okay, both of you... you don't need anything but yourselves... pills, alcohol, weed... why the heck would you want to mess around with all the chemicals that will damage the natural ability?
Want to be stronger? Do it own your own...
Both of you have so much power that comes naturally, all you have to do is watch, observe... learn from others... You don't see what you can learn when you're drunk...
You may think the drugs are making the experience better, but, you aren't seeing the truth of it all... You only see what is obvious, not what is under it....
Want a natural high? And don't give me the "weed is natural" line... I don't want to hear it...
A natural high... learn something new about yourself. Find out why you're so freakin weird...
Disect your minds.. heck, try to disect someone else's mind.. Just, PLEASE... please, quit killing all those beautiful brain cells...
Did you just answer yourself lol?
Nah, it would be a genius way to do it, wouldn't it?
Seriously, that was James... my little juvenile delinquent. He's the baby... he tells me everything, whether I want to hear it or not... He's about 5'9", dark curly longer hair... blue eyes that disappear when he smiles ... loves babies and animals... actually is a very large, hairy teddy bear who is currently on house arrest...
I asked him earlier if he wanted to answer Nomad because they have a lot in common.... He thinks she sounds hot... lol..
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