Does anyone else....

[Celestia]

...have a battle with their ego?

I like to say I'm a spiritual chick and against anything materialistic BUT I've got to admit, I'm struggling to quieten my ego.

I'm not trying to brag but over here in England I've been involved very much in the performing arts world, acted in several programs and short films and I've also had the privilege of travelling with several dance companies. It was towards the end of a hectic 3 years of constant working that I faced a bit of a personal breakdown to be honest... I admitted to myself that what I was doing wasn't serving me and that I was starving my spirit.

Believe it or not an angel appeared to me towards the end of this 3 years -I was later told this was Metatron (i had no idea who he was at the time) and ironically after this appearance I fell ill and was forced to take the next 3 months off work. Upon recovering from this illness, i was faced with the dilemma of continuing my search for the real me or go back into a high profile well paid but demanding job. I chose to stop absolutely everything -much to the horror of my friends and family who couldnt understand why this life didn't satisfy me.

It's now 2 months after that decision and I'm still being offered all these opportunities to work with other dance artists, audition for new films and I'm feeling frustrated with myself. My ego is reminding me that I'm almost a recluse, I only mix with people that have similar values to mine now - and to be honest I do feel a little lonely from time to time.

So what I'm asking is - how can I quieten or befriend this ego of mine that was so used to having all of my attention? Does this sound familiar to anyone else..? I guess its confusing if you have a talent and you want to use it but not in a way that's controlled by others... I'm a creative person by nature yes but I've been giving this away in a harsh, cold way to people that just want to make money... Argh I'm so confused. My soul wants to dance again but in a way thats fulfilling for me.... but how can my ego understand its not all about showing off and being the best? I'm definitely facing my own demons here.... lol! :P

Anyhow, sending you thanks and love

Celestia x

[Satisfiction]

LOL - A better question would be, "Does anyone NOT struggle with their ego"!

Yes, my love, I believe we all do... I call mine Hego (h is the first letter of my first name) to give it a personality for its lovely self and to distinguish it from my Higher Self.

Congratulations at your success and then the wisdom to step back from it to decide if it's something you really want to do. That's huge, and most people would be too tempted by the fame/lifestyle/etc to be able to do it. Awesome.

The ego is a tricky thing - just when you think you've got the hang of it, it jumps out and catches you in a different way! I'm not sure if you can ever 'teach' ego something knew, since the nature of ego is to define itself through 'othering', past and future. The best thing you can to is to continue to practice living in the moment, which then doesn't give the ego a chance to stake a claim in yourself. You can do this through mediatation and in your daily life, give everything you do your full attention, rather than letting your mind wander and think about other things.

If you want to still be artistic find some different outlets for it, or create them for yourself - even if it is just practising in your room! Perhaps moving into a teaching rather than a performance role will help? Teaching kids can be a very humbling experience, and you can learn a lot personally from it.

[Celestia]

Thank you for that...

Being mindful of every moment - yep I sure do need to practise that more often lol. I feel I will go into teaching when I'm a little older, wiser and more settled... otherwise they'll have a very erratic eccentric teacher :P

Maybe I should give my ego a name too! I can have fun with that!

[Indigo Dog]

...have a battle with their ego?

I like to say I'm a spiritual chick and against anything materialistic BUT I've got to admit, I'm struggling to quieten my ego.

I'm not trying to brag but over here in England I've been involved very much in the performing arts world, acted in several programs and short films and I've also had the privilege of travelling with several dance companies. It was towards the end of a hectic 3 years of constant working that I faced a bit of a personal breakdown to be honest... I admitted to myself that what I was doing wasn't serving me and that I was starving my spirit.

Believe it or not an angel appeared to me towards the end of this 3 years -I was later told this was Metatron (i had no idea who he was at the time) and ironically after this appearance I fell ill and was forced to take the next 3 months off work. Upon recovering from this illness, i was faced with the dilemma of continuing my search for the real me or go back into a high profile well paid but demanding job. I chose to stop absolutely everything -much to the horror of my friends and family who couldnt understand why this life didn't satisfy me.

It's now 2 months after that decision and I'm still being offered all these opportunities to work with other dance artists, audition for new films and I'm feeling frustrated with myself. My ego is reminding me that I'm almost a recluse, I only mix with people that have similar values to mine now - and to be honest I do feel a little lonely from time to time.

So what I'm asking is - how can I quieten or befriend this ego of mine that was so used to having all of my attention? Does this sound familiar to anyone else..? I guess its confusing if you have a talent and you want to use it but not in a way that's controlled by others... I'm a creative person by nature yes but I've been giving this away in a harsh, cold way to people that just want to make money... Argh I'm so confused. My soul wants to dance again but in a way thats fulfilling for me.... but how can my ego understand its not all about showing off and being the best? I'm definitely facing my own demons here.... lol! :P

Anyhow, sending you thanks and love

Celestia x

Dear C, My best signposts for where to go are anger and desire. Now before you looked shocked let me explain. Frustration a cousin of anger can actually be your friend. It is your red flag. It is saying "Hey, I'm not getting what I need to be happy!" You could ignore it until you snap or sit with it a while and find out what it really needs from you.

Desire, Ah sweet desire. Desire / passion will be the quickest way to joy and fulfillment. Get quiet and be honest. Make a list of what you really, really want and don't hold anything back. No one but you will see it so don't embarrassed.
Here is what my current list looks like:
I want to make out more
I want chocolate pudding
I want someone to notice my new shoes
I want to sleep peacefully
I want nice friends
I want to live off the grid

Now between what your anger is telling you and what your desires are telling you have the perfect prayer to offer the universe.
I love creative people. Bless you.

[PaganJava]

One aspect of ego for me... defeated.

When I first started doing concert photography, I really wanted to become a well-known name, taking photos of high-profile bands that would become really famous photos. I have kicked that aside some time ago, and have since concentrated most of my concert photography on local, lesser-known or unknown bands, some of which are barely in high school.

When I was in a band just out of high school, I dreamed the life of a rock-star, making it big, and all that went with it. I realized this was not the ideal lifestyle for me. I gave up my passion for music to concentrate on my spirituality and later on to be a husband and dad. Now that part of me is going strongly, I have turned my hobby back towards music, but by way of photography. All the time I have done concert photography, I have accepted no payment for my services. I realized that my satisfaction in doing band photography was to help them succeed if I could. If my photos could be used to help promote them, that was payment enough for me. I no longer seek to be a world-wide known concert photographer, just to help those that I can to achieve their dreams. I have had quite a few local bands, most of whom I had never heard of, contact me with requests to do a photo shoot for their band, which tells me that other bands and associates that I have done work for are referring me to others. That makes me feel good about what I do. Not because others have heard of me by name, but by the quality of my work and what I stand for. They know I'm not out to get money from them or to exploit them for my own benefit, but that I am there to help them if I can. That is one of the ways I try to give my "ego" a good kick in the ass, to show it that it's not "me, me, me", that I am here to help others in whatever way that may be.

We all battle ego, on different ways and on different levels. When we let ego rule us, we lose.

[LovelyLight]

Do what makes you happy.Or at least find a way which can help balance the situation.
Showing off your abilities does make you feel good.But always remember to keep your feet on the ground and remember that you dont need others appreciation to feel good about yourself and what you can do.
xxx